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2018: Park Operations & Ride Availability
DiogoJ42
TS Member
people are idiots and don't read signage.
People do read signage, but a majority ofidiotspeople think that these signage don't apply to them![]()
There's a simple solution to this:
1: Get one of those industrial shredders that farmers use to turn whole dead cows in to mulch in a matter of seconds.
2: Install it in Ripsaw's old spot, with some nice rusty theming and plenty of yellow and black caution stripes.
3: Put a standard Merlin [IE, not themed] warning sign next to it that reads, "DANGER! REAL SHREDDER! Do NOT stick your head in this inviting head-sized hole!"
4: Make a fortune selling popcorn to the rest of us.
imanautie
TS Member
Will the fokes who hand out Darwin awards cope?There's a simple solution to this:
1: Get one of those industrial shredders that farmers use to turn whole dead cows in to mulch in a matter of seconds.
2: Install it in Ripsaw's old spot, with some nice rusty theming and plenty of yellow and black caution stripes.
3: Put a standard Merlin [IE, not themed] warning sign next to it that reads, "DANGER! REAL SHREDDER! Do NOT stick your head in this inviting head-sized hole!"
4: Make a fortune selling popcorn to the rest of us.
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DiogoJ42
TS Member
The idiot's next of kin can collect the award in from the box office on their way out.Will the fokes who hand out Darwin awards cope?
He did have a look through my bag and scanned our tickets which I don’t think happened last time I used it about 3 years ago@LeeV - but no security, right?
delta79
TS Member
Will the fokes who hand out Darwin awards cope?
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Or just have an automatic vendor to dish out the awards.The idiot's next of kin can collect the award in from the box office on their way out.
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It's pretty well known now that bag check at towers is security theater, they don't check bags properly.
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Agree 100%. The only parks with remotely effective security are ones who make everyone go through a metal detector & x-ray their bags / phones / wallets etc, i.e. Universal. Disney security is even more of a farce than Alton Towers as their security team (their uniform just reminds me of Police Academy too) "randomly select" people for a metal detector walk-through. If you want to do something bad at Disney in Florida, just get a group of you together, split up, and odds are at least one will get through without "random selection".
imanautie
TS Member
Or just do your bad thing at the checkpoint as that will be a bottleneckAgree 100%. The only parks with remotely effective security are ones who make everyone go through a metal detector & x-ray their bags / phones / wallets etc, i.e. Universal. Disney security is even more of a farce than Alton Towers as their security team (their uniform just reminds me of Police Academy too) "randomly select" people for a metal detector walk-through. If you want to do something bad at Disney in Florida, just get a group of you together, split up, and odds are at least one will get through without "random selection".
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speedy
TS Member
I visited Winter Wonderland last year and waited about 15 minutes or so in a crowded queue of people. While the place was busy, the highest concentration of people was BEFORE the security.Or just do your bad thing at the checkpoint as that will be a bottleneck
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I was told it was just for hotel guests to access the park but there is nobody manning it when you leave, there is a button that unlocks the metal gate to let you through coming backIs the Woodland Walk just for hotel guests, or can passholders use it for ERT too?
The idiot's next of kin can collect the award in from the box office on their way out.
You only qualify for a Darwin Award if you have not reproduced yet, so I'm afraid that would exclude 85% of guests at Towers.
Agree 100%. The only parks with remotely effective security are ones who make everyone go through a metal detector & x-ray their bags / phones / wallets etc, i.e. Universal. Disney security is even more of a farce than Alton Towers as their security team (their uniform just reminds me of Police Academy too) "randomly select" people for a metal detector walk-through. If you want to do something bad at Disney in Florida, just get a group of you together, split up, and odds are at least one will get through without "random selection".
Thorpe now do this, make everybody go through a metal detector, no exceptions, we were shoved through on the late night event even though we didn't have bags, my wife's neckless set the dam thing off.
The stupid thing is, if I wanted to get contraband into Thorpe, such as drugs or a knife, I'd just chuck a bag over the fence along Monks Walk with it in around the exit of Nemesis and go collect that once I'd cleared security, same with Chessington, Alton, etc. There are ways and means of getting stuff in that isn't allowed.
Rick
TS Member
Quite, but the theatre aspect only works if you put on the same show at each venue.It's pretty well known now that bag check at towers is security theater, they don't check bags properly.
imanautie
TS Member
And don't for example wave certain people through without even pretending to check.Quite, but the theatre aspect only works if you put on the same show at each venue.
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True there @DiogoJ42
I think it depends a lot on who you are and what you're carrying, at Alton earlier in the year my wife was carrying a plastic bag (one of the 5p ones) and the guy said no worries and waved her through, twenty minutes later same guy checked same bag, only difference was I was carrying it in alone, instead of a woman walking with a child.
As you say, theatre.
And don't forget example wave certain people through without even pretending to check.
I think it depends a lot on who you are and what you're carrying, at Alton earlier in the year my wife was carrying a plastic bag (one of the 5p ones) and the guy said no worries and waved her through, twenty minutes later same guy checked same bag, only difference was I was carrying it in alone, instead of a woman walking with a child.
As you say, theatre.
delta79
TS Member
Next of kin.@IanSR, True, but "next of kin" doesn't have to mean "offspring".![]()
a person's closest living relative or relatives.
synonyms:closest relative, closest relation, nearest blood relation/relative, closest family member
"in the case of childless couples, your next of kin are your parents"
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Alton's in-house security team are inept. I have seen them hiding in the bushes near the Flume [that was] refusing a radio call to a scuffle at Flume Fast Track. They claimed they "were busy" (I was listening on a scanner). They were not busy, they were hiding in the bushes by what is now Battle Galleons.
Similarly I have heard about a "patrol" (they like to use Police terms) being dispatched to the main lawns to investigate reports of 3 males urinating. The patrol got there & radioed in to report nothing. Control told them to look 90 degrees to their left where 3 males had their d***s out. You could not make it up.
Towers Security model themselves on the real police - they even call their in-house database of cars registered on-site as "stinger" - what the proper police use to puncture tyres of stolen cars.
Similarly I have heard about a "patrol" (they like to use Police terms) being dispatched to the main lawns to investigate reports of 3 males urinating. The patrol got there & radioed in to report nothing. Control told them to look 90 degrees to their left where 3 males had their d***s out. You could not make it up.
Towers Security model themselves on the real police - they even call their in-house database of cars registered on-site as "stinger" - what the proper police use to puncture tyres of stolen cars.