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Autism the thread

Here my answers as someone not on the spectrum.

I struggle when i don't know when i see a loved one again.

When people are disparaging over my special interests, it come down to who is being disparaging, if their opinion matters to me. It does upset me.

Sent from my SM-A217F using Tapatalk
 
delta79 said:
Here my answers as someone not on the spectrum.

I struggle when i don't know when i see a loved one again.

When people are disparaging over my special interests, it come down to who is being disparaging, if their opinion matters to me. It does upset me.

Sent from my SM-A217F using Tapatalk
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I'm pretty sure the main difference between an autistic and allistic when it comes to SPINs being disparaged is the intensity of the feeling
 
imanautie said:
1. I find myself it's not usually 0-100 caused by something trivial, more 99-100 with something trivial pushing me over the edge, and honestly there's zero difference from that to a 0-100 meltdown in terms of response.
3. I do not believe there is anyone who doesn't!
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I suspect in my case on Sunday, having to go home is what pushed me over the edge. I'm surprised I wasn't crying non-stop for hours, actually, though it did leave me with no appetite for a while. Chocolate definitely helped me feel a bit better - it usually does. :p A chat about what I'm thinking for my next tattoo certainly helped as well, though that did come a while later after I'd calmed down, and the exact idea didn't come until after I'd got home, but that's not the point. My mind ended up focused on something else for a while, which is the more important thing.
delta79 said:
Here my answers as someone not on the spectrum.

I struggle when i don't know when i see a loved one again.

When people are disparaging over my special interests, it come down to who is being disparaging, if their opinion matters to me. It does upset me.

Sent from my SM-A217F using Tapatalk
Click to expand...
imanautie said:
I'm pretty sure the main difference between an autistic and allistic when it comes to SPINs being disparaged is the intensity of the feeling
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I can usually deal with strangers on the internet making disparaging remarks about my special interests. It's usually when it's people I know & love who do it when I get issues. Case in point is back in 2017 when I was working my backside off trying to find an ideal route & timings for the Tube Challenge, which included looking through the Working Timetables (these take up two lever arch folders) in forensic detail. On the occasions where we had family visiting, I'd be in the dining room next to the lounge so I could at least converse with others if needed - I'd usually be in my bedroom otherwise. There were some occasions where either one of my parents would make remarks about how silly what I was doing seemed, and it just really upset me. Things did change when it got closer to actually doing it, and seeing the effort I made coming to fruition made them realise they were wrong. I was putting so much effort into it, and to have it basically rubbished by my parents really did hurt.
 
I doubt I'll be able to pass as a 14-18-year-old, but it's worth a shot anyway. Got nothing to lose by going for it.
 
This might be better suited towards a general disabilities topic (I didn't see one) but does anyone else find being disabled is really bloody expensive?

Take my AAC setup, so far I'm up to £405.48ish with another £100+ expected in the next few months to improve my setup (a custom designed case with some features specific to how I use AAC)
 
imanautie said:
This might be better suited towards a general disabilities topic (I didn't see one) but does anyone else find being disabled is really bloody expensive?

Take my AAC setup, so far I'm up to £405.48ish with another £100+ expected in the next few months to improve my setup (a custom designed case with some features specific to how I use AAC)
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There's a reason why Disability Living Allowance was so useful. PIP...Well, given they scored me on zero for EVERYTHING during my PIP assessment because I could do things regardless of support levels needed, I think that's all I need to say on the matter.
 
Sorry to intrude guys and I hope you don't see ill of me for doing so, but I've been reading this thread in the background for quite a while as I'm intrigued. Thank you for sharing some of this quite publicly as I've actually found some of this very comforting actually for me personally.

I'm not autistic, although it does run in my family with one of my brothers and my sister. But the reason I've found it helpful and interesting is some of the cross overs from my personal experiences. In fact, I was surprised how many of the things you have been talking about I have been able to relate to.

As I said, I'm not autistic, but I do suffer from a disorder that means I see the world widely differently to other people (the nature of it means that the world I see is also changes for me regularly) and I've really struggled over many years to adapt my behaviours and the way I communicate so that I'm accepted by "normal" people. One of those things is hiding my disorder at all costs and developing both coping and defence mechanisms which, if interupted, can completely blow my mind and send me onto a state of extreme emotional panic.

So although I'm not trying to pretend I see the world the way you guys do, and please I really hope I haven't offended anyone by posting in this thread, but it does make me feel a little less lonely. I don't want to insult anyone of you guys by comparing, but I just wanted you to know that I've found comfort in reading that I'm not the only one who has these daily struggles and have found a lot of parity in your posts. I want to thank you all for that.

Sent from my VOG-L29 using Tapatalk
 
Matt.GC said:
Sorry to intrude guys and I hope you don't see ill of me for doing so, but I've been reading this thread in the background for quite a while as I'm intrigued. Thank you for sharing some of this quite publicly as I've actually found some of this very comforting actually for me personally.

I'm not autistic, although it does run in my family with one of my brothers and my sister. But the reason I've found it helpful and interesting is some of the cross overs from my personal experiences. In fact, I was surprised how many of the things you have been talking about I have been able to relate to.

As I said, I'm not autistic, but I do suffer from a disorder that means I see the world widely differently to other people (the nature of it means that the world I see is also changes for me regularly) and I've really struggled over many years to adapt my behaviours and the way I communicate so that I'm accepted by "normal" people. One of those things is hiding my disorder at all costs and developing both coping and defence mechanisms which, if interupted, can completely blow my mind and send me onto a state of extreme emotional panic.

So although I'm not trying to pretend I see the world the way you guys do, and please I really hope I haven't offended anyone by posting in this thread, but it does make me feel a little less lonely. I don't want to insult anyone of you guys by comparing, but I just wanted you to know that I've found comfort in reading that I'm not the only one who has these daily struggles and have found a lot of parity in your posts. I want to thank you all for that.

Sent from my VOG-L29 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...
Honestly with that description my first throught is could you be autistic and not know it!
 
Well, I thought when I posted this I was the only one awake (I rarely sleep before 3am). I didn't want to say as this is a thread about Autism and I didn't want to make it about me as it isn't. But I was only diagnosed with Bipolar type 2 with BPD at the age of 36. MH services within the NHS are so limited, it took things to get pretty bad to be able to get this diagnosis as Consultant Psychologists are very rare (a messy story involving finding myself 7 miles from home but it's quite embarrassing and I'm ashamed of it).

I've always been told by bosses at work and my parents to hide my behaviours as to not show "weakness" to others. I hide my obsessions (there are many) from others, including my own children and even my partner who understands and has seen me in states no one else has. I love her such much, she's the only person who has never rejected my diffences and probably the person who has come close to seeing the everything there is about me and even then I still hide loads from her as I don't want her seeing me as abnormal in case she rejects me.

I hide the Bipolar in particular because as soon as I hear anyone try and articulate what they think it is, the common misconception is that it's just a simple case of mood swings. I can tell you that really really really couldn't be further from the truth.

I'm quite sensory. I crave certain sensations and despise others. I know it sounds strange but I love the feeling of weight on me like my weighted blanket, or even one of my kids laying on me but I can't stand the thought of being trapped. I despise loud noises that I can't control but I don't mind those that do control if that makes sense?

I hate social situations unless I'm in control of them. If I'm on a hyper phase, I can appear over talkative, confident, controlling and genuinely a bit of an ass hole. When I'm weak however I'm incredibly withdrawn, frightened, vulnerable, clumsy and I panic and make really erratic decisions. I call it the "get the hell out of there" where I'm almost in complete desperation to find a metaphorical exit from the situation. I cope with this by counting down the hours until bed time, shutting the world away by taking long lonely drives as that's where I feel safe or if it's something I really can't avoid I make excuses and hide somewhere until I gain regain control. I think I'm mostly good at hiding this but surely some people who spend time with me notice.

I have the ability to push bad things to the back of my head. When I'm in a bad way, I'm really bad and I can't be snapped out of it and brought back to earth. My partner is the only person in the world who knows how to handle this. She sometimes tells me what it was like and I almost have a mind blank as if it never happened. She's had conversations with me before and I haven't remembered a word with it because I've sub consciously blocked it out to protect myself. She says it's like I've been possessed and can sometimes frighten her but she's seen patterns thankfully and can handle them quite well.

I'm usually miles away in my own head. I tend to see things that others don't see. Little details that other miss. This can also be a strength as it's actually helped me in my career. I often get asked how I noticed something that others couldn't and I honestly can't answer, it was staring me in the face but no one else could see it. The down side to that is I often "miss the point". People are going one way and I just don't seem to get it? Why would they do that? it seems quite simple to me, why are we fluffing around with this? What's the point? This can make me appear negative and not a team player but it's genuinely because I don't understand.

I also look constantly for a "happy place". Even if this is trivial, I can be happy doing something, often completely alone (I like being on my own). I've been been to Alton Towers on my own a few times despite it being a 6 hour round trip and I've loved it.

I guess I just never seem to know which person I'm going to be in the morning. Sometimes that scares me. Sorry if I'm boring anyone by the way, I'm just in a bit of a wierd mood tonight and have a lot going through my mind.

Sent from my VOG-L29 using Tapatalk
 
Matt.GC said:
I guess I just never seem to know which person I'm going to be in the morning. Sometimes that scares me. Sorry if I'm boring anyone by the way, I'm just in a bit of a wierd mood tonight and have a lot going through my mind.
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I thought it's very relatable and you articulated it very well.

Also Im no expert but I remember learning bipolar is used less often as an actual diagnosis these days and more often seen as more of traits of things like ADHD and aspects of autism spectrum etc which is interesting, which themselves often different person to person
 
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Matt.GC said:
Well, I thought when I posted this I was the only one awake (I rarely sleep before 3am). I didn't want to say as this is a thread about Autism and I didn't want to make it about me as it isn't. But I was only diagnosed with Bipolar type 2 with BPD at the age of 36. MH services within the NHS are so limited, it took things to get pretty bad to be able to get this diagnosis as Consultant Psychologists are very rare (a messy story involving finding myself 7 miles from home but it's quite embarrassing and I'm ashamed of it).

I've always been told by bosses at work and my parents to hide my behaviours as to not show "weakness" to others. I hide my obsessions (there are many) from others, including my own children and even my partner who understands and has seen me in states no one else has. I love her such much, she's the only person who has never rejected my diffences and probably the person who has come close to seeing the everything there is about me and even then I still hide loads from her as I don't want her seeing me as abnormal in case she rejects me.

I hide the Bipolar in particular because as soon as I hear anyone try and articulate what they think it is, the common misconception is that it's just a simple case of mood swings. I can tell you that really really really couldn't be further from the truth.

I'm quite sensory. I crave certain sensations and despise others. I know it sounds strange but I love the feeling of weight on me like my weighted blanket, or even one of my kids laying on me but I can't stand the thought of being trapped. I despise loud noises that I can't control but I don't mind those that do control if that makes sense?

I hate social situations unless I'm in control of them. If I'm on a hyper phase, I can appear over talkative, confident, controlling and genuinely a bit of an ass hole. When I'm weak however I'm incredibly withdrawn, frightened, vulnerable, clumsy and I panic and make really erratic decisions. I call it the "get the hell out of there" where I'm almost in complete desperation to find a metaphorical exit from the situation. I cope with this by counting down the hours until bed time, shutting the world away by taking long lonely drives as that's where I feel safe or if it's something I really can't avoid I make excuses and hide somewhere until I gain regain control. I think I'm mostly good at hiding this but surely some people who spend time with me notice.

I have the ability to push bad things to the back of my head. When I'm in a bad way, I'm really bad and I can't be snapped out of it and brought back to earth. My partner is the only person in the world who knows how to handle this. She sometimes tells me what it was like and I almost have a mind blank as if it never happened. She's had conversations with me before and I haven't remembered a word with it because I've sub consciously blocked it out to protect myself. She says it's like I've been possessed and can sometimes frighten her but she's seen patterns thankfully and can handle them quite well.

I'm usually miles away in my own head. I tend to see things that others don't see. Little details that other miss. This can also be a strength as it's actually helped me in my career. I often get asked how I noticed something that others couldn't and I honestly can't answer, it was staring me in the face but no one else could see it. The down side to that is I often "miss the point". People are going one way and I just don't seem to get it? Why would they do that? it seems quite simple to me, why are we fluffing around with this? What's the point? This can make me appear negative and not a team player but it's genuinely because I don't understand.

I also look constantly for a "happy place". Even if this is trivial, I can be happy doing something, often completely alone (I like being on my own). I've been been to Alton Towers on my own a few times despite it being a 6 hour round trip and I've loved it.

I guess I just never seem to know which person I'm going to be in the morning. Sometimes that scares me. Sorry if I'm boring anyone by the way, I'm just in a bit of a wierd mood tonight and have a lot going through my mind.

Sent from my VOG-L29 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

Not that familiar with bipolar myself but it's not exactly a rarity for people to be multiply neurodivergant.

A lot of what makes things more accessible for Autistics is useful across neurodivergencies.
 
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imanautie said:
Not that familiar with bipolar myself but it's not exactly a rarity for people to be multiply neurodivergant.

A lot of what makes things more accessible for Autistics is useful across neurodivergencies.
Click to expand...
Ah, comorbidities. One thing many people don’t know about me is that I’m epileptic. The exact form is ‘simple partial epilepsy’, and I was diagnosed when I was about 9 (I think). Basically, when I have a seizure, my eyes typically move around a lot, but I can still carry on doing what I was doing before relatively easily. Best way I’ve found of stopping it is suddenly moving my head sharply a few times. I actually can’t remember the last time I had one of these episodes - they’re very rare for me now. And how did my parents first realise it? Well, Dad was putting home video stuff from the video camera onto VHS tapes and noticed something I said about the room seemingly ‘shuddering’.
 
Jonathan said:
Ah, comorbidities. One thing many people don’t know about me is that I’m epileptic. The exact form is ‘simple partial epilepsy’, and I was diagnosed when I was about 9 (I think). Basically, when I have a seizure, my eyes typically move around a lot, but I can still carry on doing what I was doing before relatively easily. Best way I’ve found of stopping it is suddenly moving my head sharply a few times. I actually can’t remember the last time I had one of these episodes - they’re very rare for me now. And how did my parents first realise it? Well, Dad was putting home video stuff from the video camera onto VHS tapes and noticed something I said about the room seemingly ‘shuddering’.
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I've lost track of the number of epileptic Autistics I know!
 
imanautie said:
I've lost track of the number of epileptic Autistics I know!
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It still freaks me out a bit as to how little being epileptic affects me in my day-to-day life. Even long-term, it doesn’t feel like it affects me very much at all. I mean, I’m not complaining or anything that it never really presents a problem for me - I’ve just got bigger issues to deal with. Such as being autistic and gay - and, as I believe we discussed a while back, it’s quite common for autistic people to also identify as LGBTQ+.
 
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