Chiapas (and why it's the best water ride in the world)
It's taken me a while to get around to writing this review because I am particularly susceptible to a problem. That problem is a tendency to massively overstate a ride's qualities just after going on it, and then having to embarrassingly backtrack some months later once the 'shock of the new' has worn off. That's why I was hesitant to write anything about Chiapas in the weeks after my visit to Phantasialand, wearily suspicious of my own brain's fanboyish assessment of it as the best water ride that I've ever been on. Now I've had a month to reminisce, listen to the music and to watch POVs to flesh out my memories of the ride, I've come to the conclusion that for once my first impression was bang on the money: it
is the best water ride I've ever been on.
The most surprising reaction - though one that was pretty much shared universally - after our first ride was that the POV is somehow both an accurate account of the physical ride
as well as a complete misrepresentation of what the thing is like in-the-flesh. The POV shows the ride's parts: the actual layout, the theming, some of the music, the 'dark ride sections' and the drop. But somehow, in real life, the ride is ten times the sum of those parts. It's these elements that the POV completely fails to capture - the atmosphere, the pacing, the interaction between boats and the key role that the masterful progression of music plays in ratcheting up the tension throughout the ride until the final drop become an explosive climax of pure joy.
Image from PL's FB
The role of music cannot be understated in the success of this ride - IMAscore's finest work to date. The
main theme is majestic and well-recorded, as well as being extremely catchy and melodic, and embodies the ride as well as any classic film theme does. It is a proper adventure theme, the soundtrack to a thrilling expedition where the possibilities are endless. Whereas other rides with similar themes have compositions that sound rather lifeless and like a pale imitation of a Hollywood equivalent, this theme could happily take pride of place in any tinseltown blockbuster.
But it isn't just one theme, oh no. IMAscore have created a suite so that every stage of the ride has appropriate music, each piece distinct but linking back to the main theme. It is a masterpiece in building tone and pacing. It eases you in - each lift-hill and drop turning up the aural excitement to fever-pitch until you find yourself before the big drop, fist in the air, pumping to the music as you would to any headline band at Glastonbury. Throughout your journey, you pass by other boats - either forward or backward - and in the pure ecstasy of the moment a connection is bridged between two groups of strangers and you look at each other, grinning from ear to ear, and find yourself yelling "CHEEE-APP ASS!" at the top of your lungs. This is psychologically manipulation elevated to a masterpiece.
It would be unfair to say that the pacing is all owed to the score. On other log flumes, the flow and continuity of the ride is broken up by the technicalities of the ride system - the slow-flowing river, the slow switch-tracks and the slow lift-hills. These lead to a disjointed experience. The incredible engineering by Intamin here means that the lift-hills and switch-tracks are both lightning quick, and don't feel like the interludes in the action that they do on other flumes. Not a beat is missed. While you speed round the ride, the music is pumping and the party stays in full-swing. The most incredible example of this is the sideways-slide from backwards to forwards - it is done at such breathtaking speed that it feels more like a belly-dancer's shimmy to the right, like a smooth dance move in itself.
Image from PL's FB
The layout - and the sequence of elements - has also been designed expertly to enhance the pacing: the ride system, the music and the layout forming a tri-pronged attack to keep the excitement levels dangerously high from the first second to the last. The three drops (little, backwards, big) follow a much-used sequence, but it still works well, so why mess with the winning formula? The 'river' sections between drops are just about the right length so that they end before they get boring, without the winding, tedious and overly-worthy 'middle section' that mars The Flume, and saps the momentum of that ride. The technical necessities that usually detract from log flumes are so quick here that not only are they not boring, but they are actively
exciting. Yes, the lift-hills are so fast that they are a thrill in themselves.
The breathtaking beauty of the ride has been well documented and doesn't need many more words from me. Standing in the plaza of the ride, just in front of the splashdown, you realise that it is one of the most fully-realised and immersive environments ever created in a park. It is a cut above. The bar has been raised. Somebody - or a team of people - have taken real care with every painstaking detail to ensure
that view is unimprovable. While other great-looking water rides are themed well (Atlantica and Poseidon), it is the landscaping that takes this to the next level. Also of note is the ride's seamless integration into the notoriously patchwork park that is Phantasialand, with the ride somehow intertwining itself with Talocan, Colorado Adventure and Black Mamba, while never feeling compromised by these challenges.
The dark ride section looks to be a bit of a joke on the POV, and the weak point of the ride. Actually, it is yet another peak in a ride that has more peaks than the Himalayas. The ride succeeds in creating a 'party vibe' that builds in each rider as you go round, and by the time you get to the 'gay disco' section, the nightclub is fully open, the first DJ is tearing up the floor and everyone has had a few drinks down them. What could be lame and tacky is transformed by the anthemic music into yet another fist-pumping climax; riders who are grinning so much that their faces are in danger of breaking are sailing backwards at speed and chanting in unison "OOH EEH AHH OHH!"
Image from PL's FB
For me, it finally topples Splash Mountain, which I had long assumed was an unchallengeable king at the top of the water ride hierarchy. The Disney flume does not have the scope and the ambition in its built environment that this does, and lacks an authenticity of place and location that Disney have gone on to nail with Expedition Everest. It is cartoony where Chiapas attempts immersion. It is also too childlike, with fairytale songs that are a bit plinky-plonky tweeness compared to the full on rave-up of Chiapas. This is not much of a criticism of Splash - it is at a Disney park after all - but Chiapas has a much broader appeal.
Some of Splash's weak points in comparison are not Disney's fault. The ride is around 25 years older, and the ride system is therefore much more primitive - the transitions are slow and clunky compared to the super-modern Intamin system, and this dampens the excitement a little bit. While there is more of an attempt to tell a story, I am not entirely convinced that this is a great idea on a log flume. Storytelling on Splash means that the boats have to float round at quite a sedate piece, which allows the adrenaline levels to keep falling back to normal between drops. The location of the ride in each Disney park also doesn't quite lend itself to the jaw-dropping cliff faces and dizzying spectacle of Chiapas, though the mountain is pretty impressive. I can just about see why some might prefer Splash, but Chiapas is undoubtedly the more adult-orientated ride (while still accessible to families), which I prefer to the child-focused excitement of Splash and the somewhere-in-between hybrid of Dudley Do-Right.
Chiapas is the ride equivalent of MDMA - an endless euphoria with seemingly no downsides. It breaks the rules of being a log flume,
they do not have a right to be this exciting. Phantasialand have taken the concept - which hasn't really been advanced since Splash conquered all in 1989 - and taken it to that next level. They have somehow made it as exciting as a really great rollercoaster. And the drop isn't even that intense. But who cares? Drops on log flumes are never intense, and even Chiapas can't change that. The intensity is in the theming, in the music, in the atmosphere and in the gorgeously rich environment that each visitor bathes in. It is an adrenaline-pumping, fist-in-the-air, full-on party ride that'll have you screaming its name by the end of the night and trust me, the night is still young.
S Gregory
