The I Feel Down Topic.

Discussion in 'Corner Coffee' started by Adam, 13th Jun 2012.

  1. IanSR

    IanSR TowersStreet Member

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    Yeah I feel your pain and agree on OFSTED, their assessments are mostly made on exam results and attendance, not student wellbeing. My son is SEN, and I remember back when OFSTED told the schools when they were inspecting, his (primary) school gave him the day off because they didn't want him to feel pressured to not fiddle or sit under the desk reading a book (in other words it was better for them that he wasn't there as they wouldn't get marked down for not being able to cope with him - fortunately a lot of behavour therapy and no ritilin drugs has helped him enormously to the point where you'd never know now) but their attitude everytime OFSTED rocked up was disgraceful.

    I'm not a step-parent so not really qualified to pass judgement, but I know a lot who are and it's always one of the same three scenarios, the absent parent either just doesn't give crap and has no involvement, or they are involved and their goal in life is to do everything to make your life difficult by doing everything with the kid that you don't want, or they shower the kid in gifts and generally spoil them rotten to try and make up for their absense, or even a mixture of the above.
     
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  2. delta79

    delta79 TowersStreet Member

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    The other parent is can be great or crap.
    I got the stepkids to call me by my name, telling them replacing their dad.

    Their dad was the opposite. He almost never said yes. We had reminding him he had kids, when they wanted to see him he would not have the decency of telling them himself. He always left it to us.

    So we were the bad guys. One day the step lad took £20 and my push bike and headed off to see him.
    I caught up with the lad at the station waiting for a train. He was kicking off saying i was going to stop him.
    I said he could go if he answered one question correctly, how do you get there.

    He looked confused told he how. And ask if i would stop him. I replied we are not the one stopping you.

    2 hrs later he arrive home in a police car as his dad had reported him as a missing child.



    Sent from my SM-J600FN using Tapatalk
     
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  3. Panda

    Panda TowersStreet Member

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    Oh man, I used this exact topic and group of people 4 years ago for something so very similar. I have 4 GCSEs but also a degree in Mechanical Engineering.

    I don't want to echo what some others have commented as it's a really difficult situation unless you've actually been through it. Right now, it's going to feel like a complete emotional drain, but I absolutely promise that University is a completely different environment. Universities actually have dedicated teams that assist students, ensuring extended deadlines, additional tutoring, extra material etc when required. I find that lecturers see you as adults, whereas school/colleges still treat you like children.

    Take some time to look after yourself, as its so important, even if it means a few days off from college. A Levels are hideously pressuring and you won't suffer much from a short break. Take it a step at a time as there is always a next step after your results. :)
     
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  4. BeccaH

    BeccaH TowersStreet Member

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    Thank you so much :)
     
  5. The Cardinal

    The Cardinal TowersStreet Member

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    Hey guys,

    I know I'm new here but the enthusiast community seems really cool and understanding so I figured I'd post this here.

    I've been feeling down recently. I think it's because I've not been doing much so I have more time to think about things. I've been struggling to get a job since I graduated university in October. I'm lucky to get 10 hours a week at my current retail job as it's seasonal. When I first joined uni I never anticipated it being this hard out there. I've been applying everyday to opportunities all over the place. I get interviews and then I just hear the bad news that I'm not progressing to the next stage. It's draining.

    It doesn't help what's going on around me either. My parents are constantly pressuring me - which I understand but it just adds to my stress and makes me feel more useless when getting rejected. My girlfriend has moved in with me and my parents too which hasn't gone down well. I think it's a lot for them having us around the house so much and they only agreed she'd move in to allow us to save money for a house. What sucks is I'm hardly getting any money in from work at the moment so she's doing a lot of the saving, I try to save what I can but it's difficult. My girlfriend also suffers with epilepsy which can be stressful, she had her first seizure in months tonight and it's horrible having to see her like that.

    Anyways, I've been looking forward to get away from it in April with our trip to Alton Towers, fingers crossed it'll be open. I live down south so it's quite the adventure staying up there for a few days. Hopefully coronavirus doesn't impact it. But yeah, I've not been feeling amazing recently which kinda sucks as I've always seen myself as a somewhat optimistic person. Just sucks seeing loads of people at my age (21) rolling money in and I'm getting nothing. Hope
    that wasn't too much of a bore to read :tearsofjoy:
     
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  6. DiogoJ42

    DiogoJ42 TowersStreet Member

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    Welcome to adulthood buddy.

    It gets better.


    Honest.
     
  7. rob666

    rob666 TowersStreet Member

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    Practical stuff other than hang on in there...
    Any hobbies you can turn into cash?
    I turned my hobby of gardening into a well paid job with a few home made leaflets.
    Put an advert in a local posh shop for domestic help or similar, or offer to teach your graduation topic, home tuition is all the rage, and expensive.
    You would get your hourly rate up to double your retail rate within a couple of years.
    Word of mouth means natural expansion.
    Hold on to the other job as well for holiday pay, mortgage applications and minor sickness protection.
    Tax allowances and expenses can make part time working lucrative and enjoyable...just record everything and be completely honest and open about your hours and expenses.
    Self employment is something lots of people just don't consider.
     
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  8. bluesonichd

    bluesonichd TowersStreet Member

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    Are you sure about that?

    Life’s just one long downward spiral from the moment you are born

    All you can do is make the most of it.
    Stay miserable in the knowledge that everyone is miserable too , even if they don’t show it.
    They are. They just haven’t expected it yet
     
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  9. The Cardinal

    The Cardinal TowersStreet Member

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    Cheers guys, the advice does help, I'll get used to the real world eventually :tearsofjoy:

    I have been gaining experience for some time now on a magazine where I've been contributing. It's free work but it expands my portfolio and stops me from going completely crazy. I might start advertising for writing work though, as there's no harm in trying to get paid work from doing what I love. That's actually something I hadn't considered either so cheers for the advice @rob666
     
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  10. Britford

    Britford TowersStreet Member

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    Wow...i can't tell if that was really insightful, or trolling gone wrong...I think...i agree with the base sentiment?

    But seriously, that makes a strange amount of sense so watch your wording and implication, if the wrong person sees that at the wrong time...ect.
     
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  11. rob666

    rob666 TowersStreet Member

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    Life is a sexually transmitted, terminal disease.
    Once you understand that, and accept it, things sometimes get better.
     
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  12. IanSR

    IanSR TowersStreet Member

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    Life is like a box of chocolates.....

    Oh we're not playing name that film?

    But he/she is right, life isn't unicorns and fairies and unless you are born into fortune, everything will be a struggle, like others have said, once you stop giving a crap it'll become so much easier and less stressful. I used to be in that situation, I'd spend 18 hours s day running round after people, bending over backwards to help them, neglecting my family all to chase the dream - I was as miserable as sin, had no interests outside of work and in the rare occasions I had down time, just slept, we didn't have a holiday for 15 years.

    Then the bank did something that made me see life in a completely different light, we eventually lost everything as a result, our income, our business, our home, all we were left with was a small amount of savings, a car and a couple loyal customers. We decided we would live within our means and play by our rules, do what we wanted, we both discovered old hobbies, reconnected with old friends, saved up, went on holidays etc. etc. Yeah we have far less, but we are sooo much happier and I dare say it, more free.

    Make the most out of life, you only have one.

    Oh and most of those other 21 year olds you see rolling in money? It's usually someone else's money and will, eventually, need to be paid back. You don't see what they're like at home behind closed doors, they could be tinkering on the edge for all you know, we used to have a neighbour like that, always rolling in money, flash cars etc. It all caught up with her in the end now she lives in a bed sit and is bankrupt becuase the bank eventually asked her to pay back the overdraft she was living on.
     
    Last edited: 12th Mar 2020
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  13. Tibble

    Tibble TowersStreet Member

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    Keep going with the job search. I dropped out of uni and thought I would never get a job in development. My friend also finished uni with a 2:1 and struggled. All it takes is 1 company to take the chance on you. But in the mean time apply for anything in the field. At the end of the day the worst thing they can say is no.

    It can be really disheartening. My ex and myself lived with her parents for 2 years before we got our own place. I was working at B&Q and she was working at a pub. But you just gotta keep pushing. I think I applied for 100 jobs before I got my first one. Then once you are in it is so much easier
     
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  14. DiogoJ42

    DiogoJ42 TowersStreet Member

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    What the hell am I supposed to do? Tell the kid the truth?
     
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  15. The Cardinal

    The Cardinal TowersStreet Member

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    Thanks for all the responses everyone it does help a lot. I'm just going to keep applying then hopefully I'll eventually get something!
     
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  16. MattyH

    MattyH TowersStreet Member

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    I don't know what your degree is in, but I graduated with a science degree in 2016, since then I've had 6 months of lab experience. I currently work a zero hours contract minimum wage seasonal job. Had loads of interviews and none successful.

    It's difficult, not getting positions is stressful. Luckily I have very supportive parents who are accepting of my circumstances, of my friends from uni I know, a lot haven't managed to get positions in the field they studied. Do you drive? I have found this has been the reason for a lot of rejections from companies.
     
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  17. The Cardinal

    The Cardinal TowersStreet Member

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    Yeah, I don't drive and that's definitely been an issue with some jobs. I had an impact on somewhere I had an interview with; you couldn't get there unless you drive, so I had to reject it. Felt like a waste but it had to be done. The trouble is, these companies expect you to drive but that's difficult on a minimum wage job especially with lessons, insurance, etc.
     
  18. Tibble

    Tibble TowersStreet Member

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    Whereas a uni degree use to be quite prestigious, I think now with the amount of people going and getting 1st and 2:1, they arent seen as the brilliant diplomas they once were. I know a lot of graduates who had to go into junior roles and work their way up because companies want experience too.
     
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  19. Alsty

    Alsty TowersStreet Member

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    This Coronavirus is really starting to get me down. Just watching everything stable around you dissolving away, everything normal, everything you thought would happen is now lying tattered on the ground. Watching society self destruct in front of your eyes and not knowing when it's all going to end. It's scary, it's unsettling and it's hard to get it out my head.

    It's got to end, I know that, but at the moment it feels a long way away. And unlike Brexit there's no escape from it; work, shopping, home life, upcoming plans for the theme parks, weekends away, holidays, getting together with family, friends and loved ones, all in disarray :(
     
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  20. Jonathan

    Jonathan TowersStreet Member

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    I can't stand the uncertainty of everything. Not knowing what's going to be happening within the next few days is frankly terrifying. The disgusting selfishness of those who've hoarded way more supplies than they need is abhorrent, and those who've done so should feel ashamed that they've effectively taken stuff from those in our society who need it just to survive. One of my overriding concerns is what society will end up being like once we finally get out of this truly awful situation. Am I going to have to self-isolate at some point in the not-too-distant future? Will I end up being off work for a while? Will I even have a job to go back to? I hate this. I really, truly hate this. :(
     
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