I’ll admit I’m feeling a bit down after having attended an industry outreach event today with university and presented my dissertation and its findings.
I’ll digress that I do not like public speaking and it does not come at all naturally to me, so I was already nervous to begin with. This is probably going to sound pathetic, but I’d prepared myself a very prescriptive script for my presentation and rehearsed it quite a few times so that I “learned my lines”, if you like. I have absolutely no ad-lib or improv ability or any general ability to think things like that up on the spot, so I felt more comfortable knowing exactly what I was going to say beforehand.
The basic premise of my role in the event was that I was one of 6 students “pitching” their dissertation, and there was a competition for the best “pitch”. The theme of the event was building bridges between academia and industry and finding investment opportunities from academic ideas. I had discussed my presentation beforehand with the lecturer who was taking us, and I was under the impression that I simply needed to show off my dissertation, its findings and the implications within a 3-4 minute pitch. The lecturer taking us had indicated that my presentation was fine.
However, when we got to the pitch part of the day, the first student came on… and they presented some absolutely beautiful, Dragon’s Den calibre business pitch, with full suggestions of what they’d done to commercialise their project, what stage they were at, how they were going to develop it, full costings, and a presentation full of enthusiasm, charisma and riffing with the audience. Some of the other ones weren’t quite so advanced, but they still had a fair degree of business emphasis and were fairly schmultzy. Whereas mine was very academic and went quite technical in terms of discussing my methodology, my results and such; it was pretty much purely discussing my dissertation and its implications. I have never had any intent of commercialising my dissertation or being entrepreneurial and making any kind of business venture with it; I only did the event because the faculty felt that I had one of my cohort’s strongest dissertation ideas, so I’d been asked if I’d do it to help raise the university’s profile. To tell you the truth, I didn’t really want to do it, but felt like I should.
When it came to my actual delivery, I also felt that I was really wooden and awkward, whereas everyone else oozed charisma and looked so natural up there. I was incredibly anxious and found the presentation utterly excruciating, and I had to look at my slides a fair bit more than I’d have liked.
While I was able to answer the questions I was given by the panel at the end, and the accompanying lecturer said that I “spoke like I really knew my stuff” and that I hadn’t done my presentation wrong at all, I still feel embarrassed and like I completely messed up. For starters, I feel like I completely misunderstood the assignment by not really incorporating a business angle into my presentation; I think I went much too academic and technical compared to everyone else. I’m also a bit embarrassed by how wooden and nervous my delivery was compared to everyone else’s.
I don’t know… I just feel like a complete fool.