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The I Feel Down Topic.

Lottie. said:
Not really down, just feel a bit lost atm. I hate this feeling of not knowing what's going to happen in the future (this being once I finish uni in May).

If I was to describe how I feel in a metaphor: 'I feel like I'm wandering down a straight path that is soon to turn into a crossroads, where many paths will open up to me. I don't know which path to take.'


Okay, I just don't want to grow up lol.
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... http://www.chessingtonjobs.com/job-search-and-apply
 
Don't usually post my feelings, but I've just reached such a low ebb tonight I have to get it out somewhere, and to people I love.

It's been nearly a week since I broke up with a man who I'd fallen completely and utterly head over heels for. I had met this one, and I just 'knew' he was right for me. I wasn't expecting him to be my soul mate, but I didn't shudder at the thought of being with him for quite some time, which I usually do about a week into a relationship.
The break up wasn't a harsh one. He was very kind, and it was situational thing. He's in a really bad place at the moment and can't be what I want him to be right now. He hasn't betrayed me or let me down, but perhaps because of this, because of the way he has remained such a gentleman all the way has just served as a reminder of what a truly fantastic man I was with. He wasn't perfect by any means, but I was prepared to fight and work for our relationship. In his state of mind he apparently just isn't.
At first I was sad because I had broken up with him, which is always horrible. Then what made me sad was seeing all the little things that reminded me of him, allowed all these memories to burst forward and force me to reflect on the truly wonderful experiences we shared. What hurt the most was the notion that I potentially will never have any more. Call me greedy, but it kills me that what I've got is the lot. I know I should be grateful for the few happy memories I have gained, but nevertheless it still hurts.
Now what makes me so very sad is quite how alone I feel. I am hundreds of miles from home, hundreds of miles from those I love and who love me and hundreds of miles from Alton Towers ;). He's at home, but he's surrounded by friends he's had for years and family. He's busy and is in full time employment. I'm a student, and despite all the extra sport I do I still have lots of time to think and sit on my own and recognise just quite what solitude I am in. Of course I'm not truly alone, I do have friends and support here. But I feel as if there's a massive hole in my heart and soul that he ripped out when he left me, which is probably why I feel so lonely.

Everyone says it will get better, and sometimes it does feel as if it's getting better, but right now, I feel so alone.
 
Sorry to hear that Vez :(

I do wish I had something more profound to offer you but I don't.

Sorry to hear that you are hurting, sadly it happens to us all. It always hurts and I hope you find your way through it.

I am sure all us lovely people will be here for you if you need anything.

*hugs*
 
Ok, here goes nothing.
So at new years eve I tried to kill myself, and obviously, much to my disappointment, I’m still here. I have severe anxiety and depression and I self harm too much for my own good. I haven’t cut for like, 2 weeks, and I’m proud of myself. But I don’t know how much longer I can not do it. I feel suicidal all the time and the voices in my head are getting worse, but i daren’t tell anyone. This is all I can manage to say right now but, I did it. I told people.
 
kateinabox said:
Ok, here goes nothing.
So at new years eve I tried to kill myself, and obviously, much to my disappointment, I’m still here. I have severe anxiety and depression and I self harm too much for my own good. I haven’t cut for like, 2 weeks, and I’m proud of myself. But I don’t know how much longer I can not do it. I feel suicidal all the time and the voices in my head are getting worse, but i daren’t tell anyone. This is all I can manage to say right now but, I did it. I told people.
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2 weeks is a good start, and definitely something you can work from, but as has been said before, don't be too hard on yourself if you relapse - there's far worse things you could be doing, and sometimes scars are a sign of strength, not of weakness.
The only advice I can give you've probably heard a hundred times before, and it won't seem massively helpful, but it's true. Firstly, if it's really that serious, you should speak to your doctor - self harm and depression are becoming increasingly common these days (and remembering how crap it was to be a teenager, it's not hard to see why!) so don't worry about them being judgemental. And if they don't help - just keep on bothering them, which, between you and me, is what I've had to do in the past. In the nicest possible way - that'll be more productive than telling strangers on an internet rollercoaster forum, therapeutic though that probably was :)

Secondly - stick with it, and never miss an opportunity to laugh or smile if it comes along. Whatever your problems are, they may seem like the end of the world at the moment, but they won't be around forever. After all the crap I've fought through in the last few years, I feel qualified to honestly say: The sun WILL shine again. You just have to force it.
Best of luck.
 
WillG said:
kateinabox said:
Ok, here goes nothing.
So at new years eve I tried to kill myself, and obviously, much to my disappointment, I’m still here. I have severe anxiety and depression and I self harm too much for my own good. I haven’t cut for like, 2 weeks, and I’m proud of myself. But I don’t know how much longer I can not do it. I feel suicidal all the time and the voices in my head are getting worse, but i daren’t tell anyone. This is all I can manage to say right now but, I did it. I told people.
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2 weeks is a good start, and definitely something you can work from, but as has been said before, don't be too hard on yourself if you relapse - there's far worse things you could be doing, and sometimes scars are a sign of strength, not of weakness.
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^^that that that that

Also doctors can sometimes be helpful...mine was really lovely and if nothing else it was nice to have a bit of an offload onto a complete stranger, I'd seriously recommend trying it!

It's a rough ride and I'm really really sorry. Me and the rest of the community are always here, though, and quite good at massive group hugs. :)
 
GAGrathea said:
Also doctors can sometimes be helpful...mine was really lovely and if nothing else it was nice to have a bit of an offload onto a complete stranger, I'd seriously recommend trying it!
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'Will, I'm going to give you what I like to call 'the pissed off-test', basically, it's a scale to see how pissed off you are...'
It was at that point that I knew I was in safe hands. Wasn't too keen on the counselling side of things, but obviously it works better for most people, and within a few weeks on medication there was clear light at the end of the tunnel - after a few more weeks I mostly felt completely like my old self again. Definitely one of the better decisions I made that year, so I'm completely in agreement with Gagrathea here :)
 
After having felt fantastic for the past few months (give or take - obviously there have been lows, but overall things have been good), today has just been a massive, massive blow, and I've just nosedived back down to where I was at the worst points of my teaching career.

So, so angry, upset, and depressed, and at the end of the day it's over something that really shouldn't be too massive a deal.
 
Had an interview this morning,but it didn't go very well. Whilst I tried my best, the manager interviewing me seemed kinda unimpressed. I doubt I've got the job.

Then went into work, but I felt dizzy all morning. It's all down to stress. I had until tonight to pass a certain amount of cases, but the way I was feeling it was impossible. Therefore, I had no choice but to leave my job.

What's worse is that I have nobody I can spend any time with here. I'm all alone.

This is the worst birthday ever.
 
For god's sake just get out of my life and leave me alone, and stop having sex with me so it becomes easier for me to get you out of my life dammit.
 
At least I think I've found the source of my depression; the hormonal contraceptive pill I was on apparently (it's prescribed as it's dirt cheap) causes it in many women in the first few months of taking it. It kills me to think what pushed him away was something I was taking to make him happy.
 
I can not take this anymore I thought treatment was the right thing to do but I am so scared of gaining weight, Its the only thing I can think of I can't remove it from my head. I am fed up of feeling like this I hate my body I just want to cut out the fat.

Everyone body say's its fine it will never be fine I have been here before and this time its darker and deeper. My eye's can not produce many more tears my skin around them is so dry it's painful.

I feel like I am living in a five bedroom house but only using one room.
 
Dar said:
It would seem that life is a pointless exercise in futility.
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Oh my dear glum oaf, we all have this loss in motivation and ability to care about anything every so often. Just like you have been there all the time to help pick me up when I get down, I'm here to do anything I need to to get you to feel better. How can we be a monster set of oaves when half the effort has an expression like wet bog roll?

I am calling a cuddle!!
 
Bear said:
Dar said:
It would seem that life is a pointless exercise in futility.
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Oh my dear glum oaf, we all have this loss in motivation and ability to care about anything every so often. Just like you have been there all the time to help pick me up when I get down, I'm here to do anything I need to to get you to feel better. How can we be a monster set of oaves when half the effort has an expression like wet bog roll?

I am calling a cuddle!!
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*MASSIVE OAVESOME CUDDLES* Love you both, you lovely, humorous and fuzzy cuddle mongers!
 
I'm just going to post a melodramatic statement. The thing that makes me the happiest I've ever been, also makes me secretly want to kill myself. Fuck my life, Fuck me. I hate my self.

There I said it, I hate posting depressive things on the internet, I always ignore these feelings and make it positive (or try), but I'm mildly drunk and I'm going to just say it. I hate myself. I have an ok life, great friends, nice family and if I wasn't me I would be happy.
 
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