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The I Feel Down Topic.

I feel low today, really low. Not even sure why, nothing really happened, and I'm looking forward to Towers on Sunday. I just felt incredibly unhappy, like I'd just been broken up with, for absolutely no conscious reason whatsoever. I want to sleep now, but if I do it'll screw up my sleep pattern, so I better stay awake. Seeing a counsellor/psychologist person on Friday morning which I am not looking forward to, as I'm sure it'll be as embarrassing useless as ever. I feel so dreadful, not really sure what the point of anything is.
 
Try and focus on the positives Sam, you have my cheerful discussions on the journey to and from Tower on Sunday.

You have a whole day to enjoy before Friday.

And its not snowing.

Ian
 
Exceedingly stressed and tense, and probably will be for the next 24-48 hours, which isn't exactly pleasant. Hate waiting constantly.
 
A whole day to "enjoy". Eurgh. The prospect fills me with dread. I don't want to be at work as I feel anxious and incompetent. I don't want to be at home because I just feel deep sadness. I don't want to be anywhere. I just want to disappear.

Today's been one of the worst days of my life and I don't know why. I feel utterly dead, completely soulless. No interest in doing anything, or talking to anyone. I feel the life and the energy sapping away from me.

Sent from my HTC One V using Tapatalk 2
 
I just want to cry, quite frankly. I'm being caught in a one sided family crossfire and, no matter how much I emphasise it is none of my business on their issues with another, the person doing it all never listens and places blame/guilt elsewhere on me when I fight back. It's times like these that remind me why I wanted out and why I wanted to become independent.

edit: Feeling utterly miserable in stark contrast to earlier this week and really, really trying hard to not take my upset emotions out on others.
 
Sam said:
A whole day to "enjoy". Eurgh. The prospect fills me with dread. I don't want to be at work as I feel anxious and incompetent. I don't want to be at home because I just feel deep sadness. I don't want to be anywhere. I just want to disappear.

Today's been one of the worst days of my life and I don't know why. I feel utterly dead, completely soulless. No interest in doing anything, or talking to anyone. I feel the life and the energy sapping away from me.

Sent from my HTC One V using Tapatalk 2
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I can understand this to a degree, I have similar feelings that appear apparently out of nowhere. Nothing seems to be able to shift it. Except I have deep anxiety instead of sadness. It feels like I just want to shut down and not have to do anything, be anywhere, interact with anyone. It's the most awful and gut wrenching feeling. I wish I knew what to say that would ease some of it for you, but I certainly do relate and I know it is not pleasant. Take care of yourself, mate.
 
Look at the bottom of the Signature, and see what your friends think of you.

Leaving home at 18 is tough, and means money spent on fun things has to be spent on bills. So just think of the money your saving, and the fun that you will have spending your money in the future :)

Ian
 
Rowe said:
I just want to cry, quite frankly. I'm being caught in a one sided family crossfire and, no matter how much I emphasise it is none of my business on their issues with another, the person doing it all never listens and places blame/guilt elsewhere on me when I fight back. It's times like these that remind me why I wanted out and why I wanted to become independent.
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Sending you big hugs!!! In fact I'll send big hugs to everyone here!
 
I got caught in family crossfire until I told them all to shut the <censored> up. They disliked me for a while but it worked

There really is that many mistakes in my posts?! Damn this Tapatalk milarky! :)
 
I'm sick to death of people I don't even know turning up at my house and expecting me to be perfectly fine. Stop listening to the same rubbish everyone wants to hear and completely twisting my words, then leave me be!
You can't honestly expect me to be able to get up and perform perfectly well at school when I've given up on my life, have hardcore insomnia, severe depression, social anxiety and constantly hearing voices. Sorry, I guess I better stop that as well to make everyone's life easier as well, huh? Because that's cured instantly.
These people don't know how badly I'm damaging myself or how low I feel even when talking to friends or at Towers, so please stop acting like I'm plain sailing when I'm really, really not.

Awfully structured, but I'm typing this as they're talking about the fact I'm scared of going into school because I'll be bombarded with work.

HSKSBD,001*-,UCBSKSJEIWH739JQj*@(!&OQN7881HUSOQPQJAJSISHSJ
 
You know when you stop yourself from thinking about something because it just hurts too much, but then something happens to remind you and it's all you can think about? That.
 
Pixie-Ro. I had that Thursday as the evening before, a student at work that I joked with when smoking at work, was stabbed in a car park in town. He died later in hospital.

I was standing in the smoking area looking at the place he usually sat, when a student that knows me says " you should know what he parents are going though, with you loosing your step daughter"

Thanks as if me feeling down about the murdered of a student i knew, you have to remind me of my step daughter. please engage brain next time!
 
So sorry for your losses, delta. It is amazing how tactless and insensitive people can be sometimes. There are some great people about though, a friend of mine at work this morning just understood exactly how I was feeling without me having to say a word and just gave me a massive hug and let me have a bit of a cry - it's so tiring being strong and putting on a brave face when inside you feel completely the opposite.

((Hugs))
 
Was doing so well not binging and purging went almost a week it felt so good to have energy and to be able to sleep but felt so weird keeping food down, These last few days have been so rotten I have let the thoughts run wild and free, My moods change so quickly I can't be happy and I won't let myself. The only time I feel slightly happy is when I can see all my food looking back at me while being flushed away but .

Just walking down the street is hard everybody watching me thinking how fat I am and what a mess I am, In Asda last week I was just doing my general shopping and this girl kept following me laughing intimidating watching everything I put in my basket I want to buy so many things but end up putting them back just due to the calories.

I am 10 weeks into recovery but I feel like I am getting nowhere but my therapist says its going well and we have uncovered a lot but all I can think about is how good it is to feel and see ribs.
 
Pixie-Ro said:
So sorry for your losses, delta. It is amazing how tactless and insensitive people can be sometimes. There are some great people about though, a friend of mine at work this morning just understood exactly how I was feeling without me having to say a word and just gave me a massive hug and let me have a bit of a cry - it's so tiring being strong and putting on a brave face when inside you feel completely the opposite.

((Hugs))
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I still think about my granny loads even though it's been almost 3 years since we lost her now, I usually let it all out on my drives back from stopping over at Wilsy's in the car where there are still 3 songs that set me off they are Hurt by Christina, It was our day by B*Witched and If you could see me now by The Script. It's ok to keep crying I'd rather have the memories along with the pain than not remember her at all like my youngest cousin won't be able to.
 
Brain's been in overthink mode again today. It hasn't been this bad for a couple of months. When I've been feeling like this at uni, I've often gone outside into the fresh air for a bit to try and calm myself down - normally walking up and down the station platform outside my flat - but that's not possible at the moment, as I'm stuck at home until Monday. Another thing is that while I was at PortAventura last week, I had a rather odd dream that brought a lot of stuff back into my mind, and I've struggled to stop thinking about it - and any meaning it may have - ever since. I don't need all this when I've got exams in a couple of weeks. :/
 
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