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The I Feel Down Topic.

I have very little in my past to be proud of.
I have nothing in my future to look foward to.
And my present is immensely unpleasent.

It feels like living is a burden without any payoff.
 
I was hoping that by the end of the year I'd be having my operation, and would finally start living life to the fullest. However, I've just found that that won't be the case.

I saw the specialist at the start of February, and was referred for surgery. But as four months have now passed without word, I decided to chase it up. Turns out that for reasons that are completely out of control, my request for funding is caught up in a bottleneck of requests due to the funding procedure having been changed in April. It could take a few months for funding to be secured; from there, it's 3-4 months to see the surgeon, and another 7-8 months to have the operation. This means that I'll be extremely lucky to have the operation by the end of next year.

I feel so let down by the system. I've done everything they've asked, and once again I'm gonna have to wait far too long for something because of beaurocrasy. I've been waiting since 2008. This isn't good enough.
 
Jonathan said:
Got exam results through for this year.

Bring on referrals in August. :/
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We all know what you've been through this year a lot of not knowing what's going on and big change will cause you to worry and feel down which can effect your learning, so just explain everything to whoever you are referred to and take what ever help you can get.
 
The referrals which I'm on about are basically Exeter's way of saying 'retakes'. I've got one essay and two exam retakes to do in August. Luckily, they're the week before we're due to move to Staffs, which is a relief - I was thinking that they'd be in the same week, in which case I'd be asking for mitigation.
 
I feel so awful right now. Just utterly, completely hopeless. Stopped taking my anti-depressants before I'm next seeing the doctor on Wednesday, because they were making me so much worse, and giving me terrifying 'black out periods' that I described a few pages back. I went out with friends today which I thought would cheer me up, but I hated it. I wanted to be away for them as quick as I could. Now I'm at home on my own, and I just don't want to be here at all.

It's way too early to sleep, but there's literally nothing I want to do, as I feel absolutely dreadful. I don't want to talk to anyone, but I don't want to be alone and not talk to anyone. I don't want to listen to music, but I don't want to sit in silence and cry. I want to write, to try and express this somehow through creativity, but I can't force myself to do it. I'm a chronic underachiever, and I'm just sinking further and further in life. I could have done really well, but I've just squandered my intelligence, and will just end up in some horrible dead-end job until I hopefully die young of cancer or something.
 
Counseling and 6 months of antidepressants.

For someone who taught people principles of positive psychology & done his damnedest to make others lives better.

Is there a lesson in this?

I sure as hell can't find one, other than mind out for ungrateful people who drain everything you have to give them, then when things get tough for you, bail and leave you to sink. Well no actually, they make sure they plant a foot on your head too.

Wow, what a lesson that is.
 
who needs sleep when there is sugar and caffine
That is what I have been running on for the past few weeks, and about 3 hrs of sleep a night!After I asked him he said no-one, but a horrible girl a bit, then after some more questions he said no, on one question he thought for a few seconds then went errrmmm. Maybe. the look on his face told me yes. And also I catch him looking at her bum ect on a daily basis. I look and see where he looks when she walks past. :| I dont really want him to go out with the hoe, as even if I dont really see him as a good friend atm. I dont want him to crash and burn... He is also loading all of his other problems onto me. :( It isn't helping with my problems atm either, although he doesn't know about my problems. I feel like I don't belong as people seem to see me as an outsider. Being constantly depressed and all. But I try my best to be like this photo
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I just need to vent a little.

The weight of the world has just got on top of me. Firstly major stress and worry, I just received my application forms for the south Yorkshire special constabulary, essentially the stepping stone to my future career. Before I always saw policeing as a certainty in my future, that one day I would snap into the attitude and e ready to undertake the role. Wrong. The sheer amount of....... well everything that needs to be put into it is scary big, the amount of rival applicants, the fact that I am already disadvantaged y my age and attitude. But its what I want to do. Also as a dyslexic I'm worried, n the form more than 10 spelling or grammatical errors will result in an instant fail. So in conclusion to that the sudden reality of my future and how uncertain it is has hit me hard.

Secondly my best friend appears to have fallen out with me, as well as everyone else, the people i work with the people at school all of them are for some reason taking their distance from me, not talking to me, just not being...... friendly. I know 'm not the easiest person to be around, and can come across as a bit of a prat, but they didn't seem to mind before, so whats changed? I haven't. Especially with one friend, i even wonder if were friends at all now. I don't know, I just don't feel welcome with anyone right now,and this coupled with my first point is getting me down, I'm loosing my sense of humor, I have no motivation to do anything, I just feel....... alone and lost.

Sorry for the poor structure, very much a rant.
 
Well, all ex's out there. STOP BEING ULTIMATE TROLLS AND JUST GET ON WITH LIFE AND LEAVE YOUR EX ALONE! They broke up with you for a reason. ::)
 
Ben. said:
I just need to vent a little.

The weight of the world has just got on top of me. Firstly major stress and worry, I just received my application forms for the south Yorkshire special constabulary, essentially the stepping stone to my future career. Before I always saw policeing as a certainty in my future, that one day I would snap into the attitude and e ready to undertake the role. Wrong. The sheer amount of....... well everything that needs to be put into it is scary big, the amount of rival applicants, the fact that I am already disadvantaged y my age and attitude. But its what I want to do. Also as a dyslexic I'm worried, n the form more than 10 spelling or grammatical errors will result in an instant fail. So in conclusion to that the sudden reality of my future and how uncertain it is has hit me hard.

Secondly my best friend appears to have fallen out with me, as well as everyone else, the people i work with the people at school all of them are for some reason taking their distance from me, not talking to me, just not being...... friendly. I know 'm not the easiest person to be around, and can come across as a bit of a prat, but they didn't seem to mind before, so whats changed? I haven't. Especially with one friend, i even wonder if were friends at all now. I don't know, I just don't feel welcome with anyone right now,and this coupled with my first point is getting me down, I'm loosing my sense of humor, I have no motivation to do anything, I just feel....... alone and lost.

Sorry for the poor structure, very much a rant.
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Just give it a try sometimes we can be surprised by the outcome of thing's, I have my fingers crossed for you and I know others will do also.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2
 
I'm being bullied again, Cyber and Physicaly- sort off. Ill explain. Basicaly someone has been filming me round school, in quite embarrising situations (once attepting to do my tie up, with footage of said bully yanking my tie around my neck) Also he hates on my friends Youtube videos and mine at school. And tonight I recived a comment on one of my Youtube videos "THIS IS (Expletive) SH GAY homo Fag" Im pretty sure as too who it is but any advice about my situation would be really helpfull. Sent from phone excuse mistakes.
 
Joseph said:
I'm being bullied again, Cyber and Physicaly- sort off. Ill explain. Basicaly someone has been filming me round school, in quite embarrising situations (once attepting to do my tie up, with footage of said bully yanking my tie around my neck) Also he hates on my friends Youtube videos and mine at school. And tonight I recived a comment on one of my Youtube videos "THIS IS (Expletive) SH GAY homo Fag" Im pretty sure as too who it is but any advice about my situation would be really helpfull. Sent from phone excuse mistakes.
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I'm sure you've been told this a thousand times, but stand up to them. Any expression of fear or intimidation will be ceased upon.

This could be seen as slightly controversial, but in a situation where someone physically touches you or grabs your tie etc - I feel you should try to respond physically by shoving their hand off you in a quite aggressive manner and then walking away.

If things get too much you will simply need to tell a teacher, as hard as that can be.
 
Is the bully attacking you up on youtube? if it is get a copy with one of many video copy add on. then you got evidence of the assault. Then report the incident to the school, It amazing how quickly they move when there is footage of bullying on there site.

 
Tell someone. Never fight back, it only makes things worse. Talk to your parents and a teacher. Nip it in the bud now.
 
I agree. It is best to tell someone now at the start of the incident. If you feel the school does not take the matter seriously enough, ask your parents to contact the school and allow them to raise their concerns no matter how difficult it may be. If some of the bullying is name calling, I would advise you to brush it off. Simply ignore what they say and move on. If the bullying results in you feel worried for your safety, you need to make this clear to your parents and ask them for aid. I've experienced some forms of bullying myself, simply for stupid reasons such as hair colour. The important thing is to remember you are not alone and there are many forms of help for you to obtain. Focus on your future and aim for success. Most likely, once you finish secondary education, you will never come into contact with these people again.
 
Agreed - you need to collect evidence and go back to the school/your parents with it. This wouldn't be tolerated in the workplace (or indeed in any situation) so there's no way it would be tolerated in a school where they have a duty of care to you.

It's unfair that you have to do this but unfortunately this will happen to the best of us throughout life - just try to focus on the GOOD people out there, and the ones that are there for you. Even in this age of social networking and forums, I don't think it makes us any less sympathetic to your cause so feel free to come back to any of us if you need advice.

I hope you get it sorted quickly.
 
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