That the thing about clas, each temp is told when they are hired that there is one full time place available for those that display the best work ethic and competence, I was once in their shoes and know what its like, but to actually ignore sound advice and training is downright rude.
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The I Feel Down Topic.
- Thread starter Adam
- Start date
Ok, I’m drunk again so I’m going to take a rare step into this thread. I was really enjoying getting to grips with the forum for the first half of this year and I enjoyed my first meet, but I’ve been off the radar for a month or so now.
Generally I'm a confident happy party animal, but the last couple of months have been tough and at the moment I prefer to spend my evenings sitting around with my headphones on getting smashed.
Firstly I moved house last month which turned out to be a total disaster. The place was so filthy that I spent the first day just bleaching everything. I hate everything about the place. The agents are vultures and the place is cold, dated and creepy.
Money is tough as everything since the move has been more expensive. The rubbish area caused my car insurance to double, one of my dragons got ill and cost me £500.00 in vet bills, one of the cars died. I had to pay £1100 deposit to rent a property that I couldn’t do £1100 worth of damage to if I took a sledge hammer to the walls and just general bills and expenses have been relentless.
Me & the mrs fight constantly. The only thing worse than our screaming matches are weeks like this when I don’t see her at all. She’s been in a business meeting since 14:00 yesterday, I’m not kidding. The hours are really not helping our relationship. I doubt she'll come home again tonight.
My work has gone crazy. How I have ended up in management I don’t know. I’m not responsible or compassionate enough to look after a sandwich let alone a dozen other people. For the first time ever I'm finding myself thinking 'maybe I should have stayed in school' which is horrible. I always look to the future, I don't usually do regrets or dwell on things.
I have various unhealthy habits and addictions that I won’t go into.
I’m fat.
Now that’s off my chest where did I put my bloody scotch.
Generally I'm a confident happy party animal, but the last couple of months have been tough and at the moment I prefer to spend my evenings sitting around with my headphones on getting smashed.
Firstly I moved house last month which turned out to be a total disaster. The place was so filthy that I spent the first day just bleaching everything. I hate everything about the place. The agents are vultures and the place is cold, dated and creepy.
Money is tough as everything since the move has been more expensive. The rubbish area caused my car insurance to double, one of my dragons got ill and cost me £500.00 in vet bills, one of the cars died. I had to pay £1100 deposit to rent a property that I couldn’t do £1100 worth of damage to if I took a sledge hammer to the walls and just general bills and expenses have been relentless.
Me & the mrs fight constantly. The only thing worse than our screaming matches are weeks like this when I don’t see her at all. She’s been in a business meeting since 14:00 yesterday, I’m not kidding. The hours are really not helping our relationship. I doubt she'll come home again tonight.
My work has gone crazy. How I have ended up in management I don’t know. I’m not responsible or compassionate enough to look after a sandwich let alone a dozen other people. For the first time ever I'm finding myself thinking 'maybe I should have stayed in school' which is horrible. I always look to the future, I don't usually do regrets or dwell on things.
I have various unhealthy habits and addictions that I won’t go into.
I’m fat.
Now that’s off my chest where did I put my bloody scotch.
Sam
TS Member
Laid in bed, cold and shivering, feeling very ill and I don't know why. At least physical illness is a distraction from the constant sadness the rest of the time. Stuck in a dead-end job with no hope of progression. Got no idea what I want to do in my life. Don't have any skills to do anything anyway. Hate living at home again, but too scared and lacking in confidence to move back out. Deeply jealous of almost everyone around me, and how much better and more interesting their lives are. Worst of all, the only two people that I have felt a strong romantic feeling for in a very long time are now both on the other side of the Atlantic, for different reasons. I feel so alone.
WillG
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Katun
If it's any consolation, I think I know exactly how you feel - but while you may not have the skills, somebody's only got to speak a few sentences with you to realise you do have great intelligence and potential. Employment's a very cruel mistress, and it's very frustrating waiting for opportunities and not getting the chance to show what you can do, but when they do come along, grab them with both hands.
Although, as someone who's just lasted 4 days in a job because they found the boredom of the new daily routine [and that's coming from a guy who once spent a month typing postcodes] even more depressing than unemployment, I'm... possibly not the best source of advice!
And yes, I've complained before about looking around me and seeing people my age in grown up jobs, doing grown up things, in love, happy etc. - and it's maddening, so too is wondering what you've done to end up alone and stuck in that rut and again, I can only sympathise. It comes in phases, and once you're entrenched in one, it feels like you'll be there forever
And for my part? Doctor's confiscated my meds because they were giving me an evil rash, and the strange dreams (usually involving me fixing things I've screwed up this year, then waking up and realising they were still very much broken) were getting me down - so by the end of next week, I may be a gibbering wreck again. Not impressed, but once again, I've only really got myself to blame. That's not the first thing I've sabotaged for myself by being a jerk this year.
It's going to be a long, hard winter. But I'll get through it. And this post has all gone a little bit stream of consciousness...
Although, as someone who's just lasted 4 days in a job because they found the boredom of the new daily routine [and that's coming from a guy who once spent a month typing postcodes] even more depressing than unemployment, I'm... possibly not the best source of advice!
And yes, I've complained before about looking around me and seeing people my age in grown up jobs, doing grown up things, in love, happy etc. - and it's maddening, so too is wondering what you've done to end up alone and stuck in that rut and again, I can only sympathise. It comes in phases, and once you're entrenched in one, it feels like you'll be there forever
And for my part? Doctor's confiscated my meds because they were giving me an evil rash, and the strange dreams (usually involving me fixing things I've screwed up this year, then waking up and realising they were still very much broken) were getting me down - so by the end of next week, I may be a gibbering wreck again. Not impressed, but once again, I've only really got myself to blame. That's not the first thing I've sabotaged for myself by being a jerk this year.
It's going to be a long, hard winter. But I'll get through it. And this post has all gone a little bit stream of consciousness...
Tarin Maria
TS Member
Sixth form don't want me anymore. Such a waste of my time. I actually hate this crap, keep sending me in for meetings and 'help' to move somewhere else. Which translates as 'we can't be bothered to deal with you, so we're gonna palm you off to somewhere else, and you can be their problem'.
Me again. I know I’m pushing it by posting in here twice in a week but tonight I want to rant about work.
About 5 years ago I took an entry level admin job in a large company who shall remain nameless. I was far more left wing than I am today and frankly I didn’t give a toss about working my arse off to put another floor on someone else’s house. I was brash, ruthlessly honest and I didn’t tow the company line, but for some reason people liked this and about two years ago I moved up to a middle management position.
I didn’t rate my predecessor at all and I came into the role packed full of enthusiasm. Those few people who have met me might find this hard to believe but one of the things that I really wanted to do was to help people. I wanted to cut through the corporate bullshit that surrounds firms like this. I wanted to be up front with people, treat them right, see that people who worked hard were rewarded and those who couldn’t be bothered got a boot up the arse. I wanted to develop and motivate people, it sounds so cheesy but more than anything I wanted to make a difference.
I’ve been in this role for two years now and I have completely given up. I cannot see the sun through the bullshit forest. I’m still good at my job, plenty of people still appreciate my no questions get things done attitude, but I can’t stand the culture of the place anymore. I’m so bored of playing politics. I’m so sick of wading through the smoke and mirrors that goes go behind the scenes. I’m powerless to help anyone. I wish I could go into details but days like today just highlight how good guys get trodden on and arse kissing bandits get the gold.
I left at about 19:00 and picked up another bottle of whisky. Tomorrow I get to wake up, put on my shirt, tie and fake smile and plow on into the forest once more.
About 5 years ago I took an entry level admin job in a large company who shall remain nameless. I was far more left wing than I am today and frankly I didn’t give a toss about working my arse off to put another floor on someone else’s house. I was brash, ruthlessly honest and I didn’t tow the company line, but for some reason people liked this and about two years ago I moved up to a middle management position.
I didn’t rate my predecessor at all and I came into the role packed full of enthusiasm. Those few people who have met me might find this hard to believe but one of the things that I really wanted to do was to help people. I wanted to cut through the corporate bullshit that surrounds firms like this. I wanted to be up front with people, treat them right, see that people who worked hard were rewarded and those who couldn’t be bothered got a boot up the arse. I wanted to develop and motivate people, it sounds so cheesy but more than anything I wanted to make a difference.
I’ve been in this role for two years now and I have completely given up. I cannot see the sun through the bullshit forest. I’m still good at my job, plenty of people still appreciate my no questions get things done attitude, but I can’t stand the culture of the place anymore. I’m so bored of playing politics. I’m so sick of wading through the smoke and mirrors that goes go behind the scenes. I’m powerless to help anyone. I wish I could go into details but days like today just highlight how good guys get trodden on and arse kissing bandits get the gold.
I left at about 19:00 and picked up another bottle of whisky. Tomorrow I get to wake up, put on my shirt, tie and fake smile and plow on into the forest once more.
Harv
TS Member
My dog is being put down tomorrow due to increased prostrate problems. I count myself lucky to have got to 16 without properly encountering death (my grandma died when I was 4 but I remember little of it, likewise with my first dog). However, I kind of feel that it's made the situation a lot more confusing, startling and, well, frightening.
I know I'm lucky that it's only a pet's controlled death I have to experience for now, yet my mind is teeming with moral and religious questions that I would never normally have asked. I'm in no way a true Christian yet I keep thinking of ideas of after life that I simply have not considered previously. It's a bizarre and unnerving state, really, and the curiosity I've developed surrounding it has caused me to think non-stop of the dog's situation for the past week or so.
I guess everybody comes to an age where they "discover" death and as I've said, I know I'm fortunate that it's not a human relative that's leaving me yet this is new territory for me; and I don't like how doubtful it's made me of what will happen to my old family pet when the euthanasia is done and he's passed on.
I know I'm lucky that it's only a pet's controlled death I have to experience for now, yet my mind is teeming with moral and religious questions that I would never normally have asked. I'm in no way a true Christian yet I keep thinking of ideas of after life that I simply have not considered previously. It's a bizarre and unnerving state, really, and the curiosity I've developed surrounding it has caused me to think non-stop of the dog's situation for the past week or so.
I guess everybody comes to an age where they "discover" death and as I've said, I know I'm fortunate that it's not a human relative that's leaving me yet this is new territory for me; and I don't like how doubtful it's made me of what will happen to my old family pet when the euthanasia is done and he's passed on.
Amy
TS Contributor
Harvey. said:
Without addressing all the other questions you have about this (I don't feel equipped to!), I just want to say I really feel for you. I feel that losing a pet is one of the worst things people can go through. A family pet is loyal, and you have unconditional love between the two of you. I've found it's heartbreaking to lose a pet. I'm so sorry.
Harvey. said:
Losing a pet is never easy. This helped me a lot when I lost one of our cats. https://rainbowsbridge.com/poem.htm
Its a lovely sweet poem and hope it will help you too.
Panda
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Zadra
What the actual chuff is wrong with the mental health services in this country?
Lump me on a medication that's clearly not right, cancel all my appointments then tell me to get on with life.. sounds about right for the NHS.
I'm struggling so much but it's just never enough for anybody, no matter what I do.
Lump me on a medication that's clearly not right, cancel all my appointments then tell me to get on with life.. sounds about right for the NHS.
I'm struggling so much but it's just never enough for anybody, no matter what I do.
WillG
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Katun
^
Unfortunately, you've just made the mistake of turning 16, and the sad fact is that's an excellent way of allowing those responsible for NHS paperwork to pass you over as 'someone else's problem'.
(Christ, your stories don't half bring back some bad memories...!)
I've said it before, and I'll say it again - our mental health service is pretty crap, BUT it's better than it was 10 years ago (which is probably very little comfort...)
Luckily, you're a stroppy little so-and-so when you want to be, and won't go down without a fight, so the best advice I can give is to see your doctor in the morning/next week, and basically say 'Oi! Whatever you've put me on is a bit rubbish, I'm flicking between hysterically hyper and the depths of depression a frankly upsetting number of times a day, and it's getting in the way of my life. I'm doing my best, but I can't do this on my own - f**king sort it out, because what you're doing at the moment ISN'T HELPING!' (if the doctor doesn't like that - see another one, I saw every one in my local practice this Summer!)
Until then alas - stick with it, avoid the people/situations that are making you feel like you're not doing enough, have a vent on the forum/twitter/Skype and all my usual unhelpful cliches. AND, in the nicest possible way, maybe occasionally seeing the world outside of Animal Crossing would do you some good?
...which reminds me - 2 weeks off medication now, and I've STILL got that bloody rash/sleep disturbance etc. - I'd put it down to not having sorted my stupid life out, but maybe I should be following my own advice!!
Unfortunately, you've just made the mistake of turning 16, and the sad fact is that's an excellent way of allowing those responsible for NHS paperwork to pass you over as 'someone else's problem'.
(Christ, your stories don't half bring back some bad memories...!)
I've said it before, and I'll say it again - our mental health service is pretty crap, BUT it's better than it was 10 years ago (which is probably very little comfort...)
Luckily, you're a stroppy little so-and-so when you want to be, and won't go down without a fight, so the best advice I can give is to see your doctor in the morning/next week, and basically say 'Oi! Whatever you've put me on is a bit rubbish, I'm flicking between hysterically hyper and the depths of depression a frankly upsetting number of times a day, and it's getting in the way of my life. I'm doing my best, but I can't do this on my own - f**king sort it out, because what you're doing at the moment ISN'T HELPING!' (if the doctor doesn't like that - see another one, I saw every one in my local practice this Summer!)
Until then alas - stick with it, avoid the people/situations that are making you feel like you're not doing enough, have a vent on the forum/twitter/Skype and all my usual unhelpful cliches. AND, in the nicest possible way, maybe occasionally seeing the world outside of Animal Crossing would do you some good?
...which reminds me - 2 weeks off medication now, and I've STILL got that bloody rash/sleep disturbance etc. - I'd put it down to not having sorted my stupid life out, but maybe I should be following my own advice!!
delta79
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Nemesis, Air
Some times they don't need the change between Child and Adolescent mental health service to Adult mental health services to do this.
I got messed around, and I got their attention by going to my GP and giving them a "you are not supporting me, and if it carry on it will not end well" speech, then said a list of over the counter drugs with the dose in milli grams. After that he was very interested in my situation. even threatened to section me, for saying it.
Later that day, I was phoned with an appointment for another GP in the practice. When I arrived I found it was a double appointment. where he did a quick case review with me (he had read up on me before the appointment) we agree about new tablets, and first review in 3 weeks then 4 weeks reviews after that.
It is all working well now, he knows what he is doing. I think that why they changed me over to him, thank god.
I got messed around, and I got their attention by going to my GP and giving them a "you are not supporting me, and if it carry on it will not end well" speech, then said a list of over the counter drugs with the dose in milli grams. After that he was very interested in my situation. even threatened to section me, for saying it.
Later that day, I was phoned with an appointment for another GP in the practice. When I arrived I found it was a double appointment. where he did a quick case review with me (he had read up on me before the appointment) we agree about new tablets, and first review in 3 weeks then 4 weeks reviews after that.
It is all working well now, he knows what he is doing. I think that why they changed me over to him, thank god.
WillG
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Katun
I really love the honesty and fighting spirit of a lot of people on this forum
But at the same time, you're not the only person I've spoken to who's basically had to use the 'bad things will happen if this is allowed to continue' type line, and it MUST say something to those responsible that patients are being pushed to breaking point and forced to such drastic measures in order to get the help that's supposed to be out there for them. I live in fear of my current course of therapy reaching the end of its sessions, and being shoved to the bottom of yet another waiting list awaiting yet another episode - luckily I've spoken to someone who understands my concerns and keeps extending my treatment, just so I've got somewhere to make my voice heard when I'm having a crap time. It's also where that VILE expression 'attention seeking' comes from - makes my blood boil, but alas it's occasionally accurate as people end up doing stupid, out of character things before anyone recognises there's actually a problem needs addressing. Sadly, that help didn't come until I'd made a hell of a mess of my life - a mess I'm still clearing up after 6 months on.
Makes me cross - and as for the so-called CAMHs - my family know them by various other, more colourful names... [/rant]
But at the same time, you're not the only person I've spoken to who's basically had to use the 'bad things will happen if this is allowed to continue' type line, and it MUST say something to those responsible that patients are being pushed to breaking point and forced to such drastic measures in order to get the help that's supposed to be out there for them. I live in fear of my current course of therapy reaching the end of its sessions, and being shoved to the bottom of yet another waiting list awaiting yet another episode - luckily I've spoken to someone who understands my concerns and keeps extending my treatment, just so I've got somewhere to make my voice heard when I'm having a crap time. It's also where that VILE expression 'attention seeking' comes from - makes my blood boil, but alas it's occasionally accurate as people end up doing stupid, out of character things before anyone recognises there's actually a problem needs addressing. Sadly, that help didn't come until I'd made a hell of a mess of my life - a mess I'm still clearing up after 6 months on.
Makes me cross - and as for the so-called CAMHs - my family know them by various other, more colourful names... [/rant]
The NHS were utterly abysmal when it came to helping me with mental health stuff "Ooh yup, we'll diagnose you...but the waiting list for anything one-on-one is too long to even add you to it, wanna go to a group session on self confidence?"
But you're way more than a fighter than me, scream and shout gurl!
But you're way more than a fighter than me, scream and shout gurl!
Sam
TS Member
I probably shouldn't recommend specific medication, but I thought all antidepressants were crap for the last decade, until I started on my current dose of my new one, 225mg of Venlafaxine. Unlike all the others, it has noticeably improved my mood and mental health. Ask your doctor about it.
alee298
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Colossus or Oblivion
This may sound weird, but as I tend to think A LOT, I find myself thinking of the most ridiculous and happy stuff, then just going all sad and moody for no apparent reason. :L Still have no friends at my new school which is sad, What I do find though is that no one likes me because of my lack of money and knowledge of girls from the girls school. :/ I am warming to the teachers and the way they teach though. I'm getting B-A* IGCSE grades in all subjects besides french and drama.
I am warming to the teachers and the way they teach though. I'm getting B-A* IGCSE grades in all subjects besides french and drama.
Nick
TS Member
alee298 said:
I'm sorry, but I find this inconceivable. I can't believe that people would dislike you for these reasons, as I go to a private school and know exactly how it is. Unless you give specific evidence that these are the reasons why they don't like you, I won't believe you.
It always takes time to fit into a new school, and there's always groups that stick together and hardly let anyone new in. If you appear sad and distant no one will want to talk to you. You'll have to grin and bear it for a while and appear positive, and then people will be more positive towards you. Showing high value is important in establishing strong relationships, so you'll have to try and be nice to people to be accepted. But, most importantly, just be yourself.