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The I Feel Down Topic.

Laura said:
I wish I had 'news' but my chances of being able to have kids are very low and I don't have a partner to find out with anyway :(
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Hope you are ok, like the others have said, seek medical advice not everything is as absolute as they say. I myself may be challenged in that department but it is something I am coming to terms with. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't make me any less of a woman, I will learn to have different goals than what is 'expected' and if it happens, it happens! It is what it is! Chin up :)
 
My dad went on holiday for two weeks last Tuesday, which would be fine, but one of my closest friends also went away for two weeks quite soon after, my brother has disappeared for the week and I have to do everything myself now. Which includes looking after my nan (who is really ill with ovarian cancer) who will call me a few times a day to remind me to go over and do everything she can't. This would be okay, but I have to feed the thousands of cats she feeds even though they all have owners and are just greedy, her own cat, and listen to her moan and mope. I'm lonely enough as it is, with only the dog for company, and worrying about everything.
 
Tarin Maria said:
My dad went on holiday for two weeks last Tuesday, which would be fine, but one of my closest friends also went away for two weeks quite soon after, my brother has disappeared for the week and I have to do everything myself now. Which includes looking after my nan (who is really ill with ovarian cancer) who will call me a few times a day to remind me to go over and do everything she can't. This would be okay, but I have to feed the thousands of cats she feeds even though they all have owners and are just greedy, her own cat, and listen to her moan and mope. I'm lonely enough as it is, with only the dog for company, and worrying about everything.
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That's not fair sticking all that weight on your shoulders chick. Leaving your friend to one side, your family (dad and bro) shouldn't expect you to be left back at home to cope with all this. I would have a serious word with them when they return.

P.s don't feed the 6000 cats, just keep your nans cat in a room, feed that and shoosh the other greedy sods away!
 
Bear said:
I honestly wish my father was dead. What a complete piece of s***.
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You won't find many people that can understand hatrid for a parent mate, but I can.
The worst part is when people blurt out shit like "But you have to love / respect / obey them, they are your parents!".
Nope. Respect needs to be earnt, regardless of who you are.

Second best thing I ever did to improve my life was cut them off completely, not seen or heard from my folks in ten years. (The best thing I did was move out of their house and in with Hils.)
 
DiogoJ42 said:
You won't find many people that can understand hatrid for a parent mate, but I can.
The worst part is when people blurt out **** like "But you have to love / respect / obey them, they are your parents!".
Nope. Respect needs to be earnt, regardless of who you are.

Second best thing I ever did to improve my life was cut them off completely, not seen or heard from my folks in ten years. (The best thing I did was move out of their house and in with Hils.)
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This guy gets it. Thanks Diogo :)
 
Anxiety has spiralled into full-blown depression. Feel like I'm losing everything. I hated the school holidays but now I'm hating being back at work. My job which I loved so much has changed completely. Feel like I'm losing all my friends. Everyone keeps telling me to be happy and excited because I'm pregnant but I just feel like I wish I wasn't, which is such a taboo. Every time someone asks if I'm OK I have a battle with myself not to cry. I know in theory I have lots to be happy about so I feel like an idiot, but I just feel compete despair and like I just want out.
 
Pregnancy does weird things to the mind and body. It's not uncommon for mental health issues to reappear during it.

All I can do at the moment is give you a virtual hug
 
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I need to be really, violently, explosively sick. But I hate the sight and smell of vom. This is going to be fun, felt like this for roughly 18 hours.
 
I would have wished you happy birthday Dad, but you won't give me your address to send you a card; I'd message you but you ignore my messages on Facebook and my texts, and I'd phone you but you won't answer the phone. You won't support me emotionally because you don't want to hear it, you're more than able to support me financially but you said you're not an outgoing person. What are you doing to even deserve me thinking about you? Why do I keep torturing myself over this? I need to get out more.
 
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This is going to sound difficult @Bear - but I feel for you on this, I've seen this rip through families, but after a while it did settle down.

Here is my advice, take it or leave it, from my experience of life in general.

If he supports you in anyway, let him, and be thankful for it - be it only financially. The issues with you sound like they're more issues he himself has, parenting is not something you are given a rulebook on, and if suddenly things conflict with your own experiences or beliefs it is not possible to just shut that down. I am not excusing the behaviour by the way. Let's make that clear, but the more you emotionally wish to force the issue, the worse it can get. Purely from my experience, the more detached you become from the outcome, the more likely you are to find openings - it kind of inexplicably eases the energy around.

There are certain members of my own family I have no dealing with, or very little, they don't accept me for who I am, and I am not changing and neither will they, but slowly, others came round to seeing that what went on behind was not as simple as it seemed.

Maintain your dignity and strength my friend, take solace in those who are around, and give them time to adjust - if nothing else, it may ease your own anguish a little.

Hope you feel a little better about things soon mate, I really do.
 
Thanks @TheMan . My point is that he doesn't support me... at all. He told me himself, before my parents split he was playing the role of what he thought was a responsible dad, but once they divorced he could get back to being his normal self; namely drinking himself into a stupor and doing extreme amounts of coke and speed. He lent me some money for my last year of uni, but he said it would be the last thing he'd ever do for me. My sister is given benefit of the doubt after benefit of the doubt despite being 27 and only just getting off the dole, hell the two of them used to score and get high together. I'm just having trouble getting over the loss of what I could have had, but through this man's choices, don't.
 
@Bear well it seems to me that he has many of his own demons to deal with, I hope you don't let it affect what you think of yourself. It sounds a difficult and complex situation fraught with highly charged emotions, in situations like this I would just say remember it's natural to feel shit about it and don't give yourself a hard time if you do. He obviously struggles with his own issues that are no reflection on you at all, unfortunately you do appear to be at the behest of them however.

I hope it settles down in future for you, I won't share my experiences in these matters as I feel no need to, but I will just say I have a little understanding of how that feels.

Focus on yourself, be responsible for yourself, and find people around you who you feel close to by choice rather than default. The old adage serves well here, we cannot choose our family, but we can choose our friends.
 
Feel a bit deserted right now. Just when I ask people for something, they quite blatantly ignore me. Even something so simple. Just feel like a lot of people I used to call friends no longer want to talk to me. Really just sick and tired of everything.
 
I'm tired of being caught in the middle of my mum's conflicts against my dad, despite having been divorced for almost a decade. Being with her partner, I have watched her change from the mum I knew to someone I can sometimes barely recognise anymore, and it really really hurts. All I want is a good relationship with her, yet he continuously gets in the way of this and it is making it increasingly difficult for me. As soon as I feel I am getting closer to her, something happens and I feel like I have gone backwards again, and it really does tear me apart. Because of him, I was told to move out earlier this year and to live at my dad's. This may not sound like a big thing, but I honestly have never felt so further away from my mum. I constantly feel second best to him and am made to feel like an inconvenience at many times, most recently today which resulted in her telling me I was pathetic for asking her to pick me up from my dad's house (which is 1 minute up the road in the car) when she takes me back to uni tomorrow morning.

All I want is a close relationship with my mum, but I'm starting to feel like it's never going to happen because of him :(
 
It's just one of those weeks where many things, that on their own are small and petty, build up to create a larger upset.

It started last Saturday, when our Pathfinder game went very badly. We went from being the toast of the town and tooled up with the best gear we could get for our level, to having litterally nothing but sh¡t stained underwear (sewer crawling ftl) and being on the run from the city guard. lost our ship, our crew, everything. Yes, it's only a game, but when you've invested so much time in it...

Then all week I've been switching between normal and overnight shifts, so I'm rather grouchy. I've also been having seriously messed up dreams, even by my standards.

The last couple of days I've had some kind of ear infection. And being freelance, I can't just call in sick unless I'm actually dying.

Last night, our surround sound amp kicked the bucket, rendering our entire audiovisual system useless. No TV, no music, no X box, nothing. Turns out the serial number is from a known faulty batch and it can be repaired free of charge, but that still means a few weeks without it.

To cap it all off, dragging myself out bed for work just now, I found one of our rats, Korben, dead. We noticed last night he seemed to be having trouble breathing, but otherwise it was out of the blue.

So yeah. Not having a good week.
 
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