The I Feel Down Topic.

[delta79]

Sam, whist you are in the forced up, you must look at the good and happy things in your life. and this is the hard part (trust me, i done it) focus on them. by trying each day to look on the bright side, over time you will start defaulting to looking on the bright side.

As I have said its hard, and its a long road. I see a lot of me aged 15 in you, I am now 33. and my mental health is still a work in progress.

chemical intervention with tablets, is not the ultimate fix. it is the stepping stone to finding the way to become happy without their use. And I know you are most probably thinking 'yeah right' but for most of the time it work, yes some days i am low, but from where i came from it is nothing.

 

[Sam]

Sam, whist you are in the forced up, you must look at the good and happy things in your life.

There are no good or happy things.

 

[Bear]

Sam, whist you are in the forced up, you must look at the good and happy things in your life.

There are no good or happy things.

Well, there are, aren't there. Don't be a tit. I notice you only get like this towards the more ridiculous hours of the evening, try getting to bed earlier even if it's just to chill and watch a film or have a Johnny Tank!

 

[Fredward]

Ok, this is going to sound really odd, and it probably won't help if you aren't into it, but listen to some really heavy or even aggressive music. If you do not like that such music then it may be difficult for this to help you. But find some loud music and just listen to it, let your depression and frustration get caught up with the beat and lyrics, and if it's aggressive music let your feelings turn to an almost aggression and let the energy release.

From what I've read Sam all I honestly think you need is a release for your feelings. I tend to sometimes get caught up and feel the way you describe, I have many releases to just vent them out, the above is the most easiest way.

The problem with your mind is not that it tends to concentrate on all the bad points and will cloud over the good points. Or at least that's how my mind works, there is tonnes of things to love about life, about your life, you are just struggling to find them. Vent out that bad cloud in whatever way you see fit, then find the reasons to love life. Then next time the depression comes back be it in a week or an hour, you know there's at least something behind those bad points.

 

[delta79]

not being as blunt as bear, i do think he has a point, you need to find the simple pleasures in life. to relax and to stop over thinking things.

there are good and happy things out there, but you are just having a hard time seeing them.
First thing I will suggest is trying to get a good sleeping patten going.

Fredward has come up with another way of letting go of the bad feelings, maybe one of these will work for you. it worth a go.

 

[Bear]

not being as blunt as bear

Have you ever seen a sharp bear?

Thought not. *bumbles back to woods*

 

[Danny]

I can be quoted from a few days ago saying I’d never touch this topic with a 10 ft barge pole, mainly because I always feel any hiccoughs or bumps I hit in life are minuscule compared to those that people share in this topic. It’s got to the point now though where all I feel I need is a vent out session, so I’ll hide the upcoming essay in a spoiler tag for anybody who just wants a basic summary.

Spoiler

For the past couple of months, I feel as if I’ve been going through life at a decent and happy pace, one that I would have loved to keep up throughout my entire life. I wasn’t gaining anything life changing, but there was nothing really negative to drag me down. Coming back to a community of Towers enthusiasts finally reshaped me to being able to visit Towers independently or with people who share the same passion, and not have to rely on a college trip or weeks of convincing a non enthusiast. This in itself put me a in much happier mood than I could have expected. But I finally feel that this period has hit a brick wall.

The only thing that got me down the most during this period was seeing the people I cared about the most feeling negative emotions for their own personal reasons. Now that the people who mean the most to me all seem to have finally come to a source of happiness, I’ve slowly begun to spiral into one of the crappest stage of feelings in my life.

I can’t go a day in college without arguing with someone in my class. Ever since I joined the course last September, I never really saw any of the people in my class as a decent friend, so it never bothered me. But the fact I’m now having to fight a battle each new day, worry about getting current deadlines met and work that has gone missing from last year all backed up, is really making me have doubts about getting into university. The only decent thing about college is I have two form tutors who genuinely care about my feelings and are there to help me through it.

I’ve always tried to get through life putting others happiness before my own. However I finally cracked recently and watched as a 13 year friendship with my best friend disintegrate before my own eyes. Over the past several months, everything about him has changed. He’s no longer recognisable to the person I could tell anything to, go anywhere I wanted to with, and fall back on. It began when he started advertising himself on those stupid Facebook friend request groups, adding hundreds of girls from around the world. I don’t have a problem with internet dating at all, but since June he has been through at least 50 girls from every corner of the globe, beginning to spend less time with myself and his other friends so he could spend his time talking to them via Skype/Facebook. He finally began to have his own problems with each individual girl he dated, and eventually dumped his stress on me. Now normally I can take a person having a let down session with me to make themselves feel better, but the things he said hurt, made me feel insecure, and truly brought an end to everything our friendship stood for. Despite everything he said, I still stuck by his side when one of the girls released naked pictures of him all over his Facebook, going as far as to send them to his parents. Despite being encouraged by people who had also been abandoned by him as well as several other people, I stuck by him and had the images taken down from Facebook. Although I’ve tied my end of the rope and cut all contact from him after doing this final act. In short, I no longer have a best friend to confide in, something which I feel I’m going to need because of the next thing dragging me down.

Throughout September, I had occasional bursts of electric shock kind of feelings in the right side of my body. I didn’t think much of it, and just left it as it was. In early October however, my shoulder came out of place. No big deal right? It shouldn’t really have been, but considering I’ve never broken a bone/ dislocated any body part or such for all my life, I was slightly worried about it and went to the hospital to get it looked at. Whilst there, I discovered my spine had been curving which took priority over my shoulder. At first, I was told it was nothing to be concerned about, and would be referred to an Orthopaedic. Nearly a month later, I have a doctor telling me it was slightly concerning, but Physiotherapy would be a good start. The Physiotherapist contradicted the views of the orthopaedic and told me it was hardly anything to be concerned about. So throughout October and November, I went on with a small amount of pain in my shoulder and slightly in my back. It was noticeable, but something I could live with.

But now things are getting difficult. The electric shocks are now on both sides of my body. My back is in a constant agony and I can no longer stand straight without being in masses of pain. Simple tasks such as climbing stairs or even opening doors are becoming daunting prospects, and I’m starting to lose sleep as I simply can’t sleep through the pain.

I’ve tried painkillers left right and center, but they do no use to me. They never really have done at any stage in my life. Standing for three hours filming a dress rehearsal for the college pantomime today knocked every single form of energy I had left in my body out of me, and everything is becoming tiring or painful to do. As much as I’d love to be able to sleep through it all, I don’t even have the energy to stand up from my desk, get in my bed and go to sleep. I’ll be finding out on Friday if I’ll need a brace to correct my spine, or surgery. I don’t really care what happens, but the outcome will inevitably be months away and I now struggle to get through an hour in my current state, never mind a day, week or month.

I’m starting to dump my sh*tty outbursts on the people around me who are finally happy and don’t deserve it. I’m beginning to doubt any faith I had in myself to get through my work and secure a place in university. I’ve lost the person who truly meant the most to me in my life, and I’m in an unbearable pain. This time 6 months ago, I found myself asking what could possibly go wrong? Now I’m asking myself what could possibly go right.

 

[Poisson]

Just done a mock in chemistry and made at least one silly mistake (forgot what a IUPAC name was)

I now worry about any other mistakes I may have made.

Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Natalie]

I'm down because today I found out my Great Grandparents married in ..................Staines!

 

[Aly]

I can be quoted from a few days ago saying I’d never touch this topic with a 10 ft barge pole, mainly because I always feel any hiccoughs or bumps I hit in life are minuscule compared to those that people share in this topic. It’s got to the point now though where all I feel I need is a vent out session, so I’ll hide the upcoming essay in a spoiler tag for anybody who just wants a basic summary.

Spoiler

For the past couple of months, I feel as if I’ve been going through life at a decent and happy pace, one that I would have loved to keep up throughout my entire life. I wasn’t gaining anything life changing, but there was nothing really negative to drag me down. Coming back to a community of Towers enthusiasts finally reshaped me to being able to visit Towers independently or with people who share the same passion, and not have to rely on a college trip or weeks of convincing a non enthusiast. This in itself put me a in much happier mood than I could have expected. But I finally feel that this period has hit a brick wall.

The only thing that got me down the most during this period was seeing the people I cared about the most feeling negative emotions for their own personal reasons. Now that the people who mean the most to me all seem to have finally come to a source of happiness, I’ve slowly begun to spiral into one of the crappest stage of feelings in my life.

I can’t go a day in college without arguing with someone in my class. Ever since I joined the course last September, I never really saw any of the people in my class as a decent friend, so it never bothered me. But the fact I’m now having to fight a battle each new day, worry about getting current deadlines met and work that has gone missing from last year all backed up, is really making me have doubts about getting into university. The only decent thing about college is I have two form tutors who genuinely care about my feelings and are there to help me through it.

I’ve always tried to get through life putting others happiness before my own. However I finally cracked recently and watched as a 13 year friendship with my best friend disintegrate before my own eyes. Over the past several months, everything about him has changed. He’s no longer recognisable to the person I could tell anything to, go anywhere I wanted to with, and fall back on. It began when he started advertising himself on those stupid Facebook friend request groups, adding hundreds of girls from around the world. I don’t have a problem with internet dating at all, but since June he has been through at least 50 girls from every corner of the globe, beginning to spend less time with myself and his other friends so he could spend his time talking to them via Skype/Facebook. He finally began to have his own problems with each individual girl he dated, and eventually dumped his stress on me. Now normally I can take a person having a let down session with me to make themselves feel better, but the things he said hurt, made me feel insecure, and truly brought an end to everything our friendship stood for. Despite everything he said, I still stuck by his side when one of the girls released naked pictures of him all over his Facebook, going as far as to send them to his parents. Despite being encouraged by people who had also been abandoned by him as well as several other people, I stuck by him and had the images taken down from Facebook. Although I’ve tied my end of the rope and cut all contact from him after doing this final act. In short, I no longer have a best friend to confide in, something which I feel I’m going to need because of the next thing dragging me down.

Throughout September, I had occasional bursts of electric shock kind of feelings in the right side of my body. I didn’t think much of it, and just left it as it was. In early October however, my shoulder came out of place. No big deal right? It shouldn’t really have been, but considering I’ve never broken a bone/ dislocated any body part or such for all my life, I was slightly worried about it and went to the hospital to get it looked at. Whilst there, I discovered my spine had been curving which took priority over my shoulder. At first, I was told it was nothing to be concerned about, and would be referred to an Orthopaedic. Nearly a month later, I have a doctor telling me it was slightly concerning, but Physiotherapy would be a good start. The Physiotherapist contradicted the views of the orthopaedic and told me it was hardly anything to be concerned about. So throughout October and November, I went on with a small amount of pain in my shoulder and slightly in my back. It was noticeable, but something I could live with.

But now things are getting difficult. The electric shocks are now on both sides of my body. My back is in a constant agony and I can no longer stand straight without being in masses of pain. Simple tasks such as climbing stairs or even opening doors are becoming daunting prospects, and I’m starting to lose sleep as I simply can’t sleep through the pain.

I’ve tried painkillers left right and center, but they do no use to me. They never really have done at any stage in my life. Standing for three hours filming a dress rehearsal for the college pantomime today knocked every single form of energy I had left in my body out of me, and everything is becoming tiring or painful to do. As much as I’d love to be able to sleep through it all, I don’t even have the energy to stand up from my desk, get in my bed and go to sleep. I’ll be finding out on Friday if I’ll need a brace to correct my spine, or surgery. I don’t really care what happens, but the outcome will inevitably be months away and I now struggle to get through an hour in my current state, never mind a day, week or month.

I’m starting to dump my sh*tty outbursts on the people around me who are finally happy and don’t deserve it. I’m beginning to doubt any faith I had in myself to get through my work and secure a place in university. I’ve lost the person who truly meant the most to me in my life, and I’m in an unbearable pain. This time 6 months ago, I found myself asking what could possibly go wrong? Now I’m asking myself what could possibly go right.

It hard when things like this happen with people who you consider your best friend, but over the years, I've learned no matter what happens a best friend is always there for you - even if there is some bumps in the road along the way. Do you think you could salvage the friendship you both had? If so, jump in and do it. If not, then don't fear, as you'll find another best friend along the line. I've seen many people come and go in and out of my life, and there have people who stick in it. They are the ones who matter!

Regarding you're health problems, get back to the doctor ASAP. Phone and ask for an emergency appointment! Or an appointment with a different doctor. Fresh eyes is maybe a good thing. They can also recommend stronger tablets which are designed for back pain etc!

 

[Poisson]

Turns out on the 17th of this month I have an hour and 15 mins Chemistry mock then 1 and a half to 2 hours of dental work in preparation for a crown to be put on my tooth NOT looking forward to that.

 

[Sammy]

okay, so nothing comparable to the majority of people's problems in here, but as a geek like many of us here, this is not really something you want to see :\

 

[Sam]

I haven't been able to sleep for three or four weeks now. Lying awake, sick with anxiety and unhappiness. I feel like I'm being suffocated. Life is somehow both boring and terrifying at same time. Speaking to the Samaritans was useless - because they just bat back whatever you say to them and that's all they do. They don't try and help. Utterly useless. I can't sleep, have to be up at 8 tomorrow and just want to cry. Surely nobody can expect me to go on like this much longer...?

Sent from my HTC One V using Tapatalk 2

 

[Bear]

Surely nobody can expect me to go on like this much longer...?

WRONG!!

Hang in there Sam. I'm always around via text or Facebook as a shoulder to cry on. I do enjoy our conversations!

 

[Noonie99]

I haven't been able to sleep for three or four weeks now. Lying awake, sick with anxiety and unhappiness. I feel like I'm being suffocated. Life is somehow both boring and terrifying at same time. Speaking to the Samaritans was useless - because they just bat back whatever you say to them and that's all they do. They don't try and help. Utterly useless. I can't sleep, have to be up at 8 tomorrow and just want to cry. Surely nobody can expect me to go on like this much longer...?

Sent from my HTC One V using Tapatalk 2

Sam, I have been reading your comments for a while now and i'm not sure how old you are but it does concern me the way you are talking about your life. It may be totally presumtious for me to comment, but as a 31 year old who has had an absolute nightmare of a year with literally one problem to the next, I can tell you that you just have to keep on going. In the job i'm in I was required to attend a training course to be able to alert me to the signs of depression, and anxiety and people who are talking about ending it all. I can safely say that you do need to seek professional help and start to turn your life around. People on here have commented that it seems the forum whilst can listen and offer words of encouragement, are not the right people to be advising you on what you should do. I've been lucky in that I have got through this year with dusting myself off and moving on with life because thats all anyone can do because things do get better. It seems you are deeply unhappy and I would raise concerns that your doctors are not taking your thoughts seriously by just giving you medication. Have you told them what you have been saying to us all on here?? Ive heard many say pills dont seem to work and if anything just puts you in a dormant state rather than to actually pull you out of this depression.
Everytime I read this topic you seem to be feeling worse, so I hope I speak for a number of people on here and say its time you really sought some professional guidance and that is get to your doctor and have an actual consultation.
Have you thought about writing your thoughts down and actually passing them to your doctor? because I can't believe they would just palm you off with pills again based on the thoughts you are having.
Just take a deep breath and try to consider that life is what you make it and we all want to make it better at some point, because if everything was happy for everyone it wouldn't be reality.
I hope all goes well for you and that you are able to combat this problem once and for all and can only offer what always helps me through real unhappy times is someone saying "there is nothing we can't overcome".

 

[Sam]

Sam, I have been reading your comments for a while now and i'm not sure how old you are

21.

It may be totally presumtious for me to comment, but as a 31 year old who has had an absolute nightmare of a year with literally one problem to the next, I can tell you that you just have to keep on going.

Why do you have to?

I can safely say that you do need to seek professional help and start to turn your life around.

I have sought professional help. I've been in the hands of 'professional help' for the last five years. It's not a magic bullet cure. In fact it's not a cure at all - it's useless. I'm waiting to start a new type of therapy soon, something in a group where you all try and motivate each other. Sounds horrible.

People on here have commented that it seems the forum whilst can listen and offer words of encouragement, are not the right people to be advising you on what you should do.

People on here have been a dozen times better than any medical professional I've ever encountered at offering advice on what I should.

things do get better.

[citation needed]

It seems you are deeply unhappy and I would raise concerns that your doctors are not taking your thoughts seriously by just giving you medication. Have you told them what you have been saying to us all on here??

Of course. They know how bad I'm feeling. They have the generalised tests which I take, which have shown progressively worse mood over my lifetime, to the point where the answer to every question now is "every day" (i.e. Have you thought about harming yourself? Have you felt little interest in doing things you used to enjoy?)

Just take a deep breath and try to consider that life is what you make it and we all want to make it better at some point, because if everything was happy for everyone it wouldn't be reality.

No it isn't for a lot of people. Life isn't 'what you make it' to a doctor on the Gaza strip, or a citizen of North Korea. Or for people with cancer, or some other illness that they can do nothing about. And I have got cancer, a cancer of the mind that eats away at you until there's nothing left - you're hollow, brain-dead, and there's nothing left to do but kill the body that accompanied the mind that died long ago.

what always helps me through real unhappy times is someone saying "there is nothing we can't overcome".

Try telling that to the family of someone who's committed suicide.

 

[Tom]

I haven't been able to sleep for three or four weeks now. Lying awake, sick with anxiety and unhappiness. I feel like I'm being suffocated. Life is somehow both boring and terrifying at same time. Speaking to the Samaritans was useless - because they just bat back whatever you say to them and that's all they do. They don't try and help. Utterly useless. I can't sleep, have to be up at 8 tomorrow and just want to cry. Surely nobody can expect me to go on like this much longer...?

Sent from my HTC One V using Tapatalk 2

Sam, I have been reading your comments for a while now and i'm not sure how old you are but it does concern me the way you are talking about your life. It may be totally presumtious for me to comment, but as a 31 year old who has had an absolute nightmare of a year with literally one problem to the next, I can tell you that you just have to keep on going. In the job i'm in I was required to attend a training course to be able to alert me to the signs of depression, and anxiety and people who are talking about ending it all. I can safely say that you do need to seek professional help and start to turn your life around. People on here have commented that it seems the forum whilst can listen and offer words of encouragement, are not the right people to be advising you on what you should do. I've been lucky in that I have got through this year with dusting myself off and moving on with life because thats all anyone can do because things do get better. It seems you are deeply unhappy and I would raise concerns that your doctors are not taking your thoughts seriously by just giving you medication. Have you told them what you have been saying to us all on here?? Ive heard many say pills dont seem to work and if anything just puts you in a dormant state rather than to actually pull you out of this depression.
Everytime I read this topic you seem to be feeling worse, so I hope I speak for a number of people on here and say its time you really sought some professional guidance and that is get to your doctor and have an actual consultation.
Have you thought about writing your thoughts down and actually passing them to your doctor? because I can't believe they would just palm you off with pills again based on the thoughts you are having.
Just take a deep breath and try to consider that life is what you make it and we all want to make it better at some point, because if everything was happy for everyone it wouldn't be reality.
I hope all goes well for you and that you are able to combat this problem once and for all and can only offer what always helps me through real unhappy times is someone saying "there is nothing we can't overcome".

This is the best piece of advice I read in this topic. I usually avoid it, but I do occasionally monitor it.

I too have become quite concerned with some of your postings Sam. Some of the advice given, while maybe well intended, lacks honesty and bravery.

There are only two pieces of advice I can give you and I think the first is the most important: The casual sex and the chasing of it has to stop, it will do nothing for your emotional wellbeing. I need to ask how many people have actually advised you of that because it's absolutely critical to your situation, I am certain of that. I'm not claiming to know you, but what you write on here and on Facebook absolutely screams, signs and flashes morse code that at me.

I'd also advise you to take up charity work as quickly as possible and as often as your time allows. Helping the homeless or sick would be ideal. It will help you to distract, open and change your mind, I am certain.

 

[Poisson]

Surely nobody can expect me to go on like this much longer...?

WRONG!!

Hang in there Sam. I'm always around via text or Facebook as a shoulder to cry on.

I am also here for ANYTHING (chat, cry, scream, rant, insult etc) via Skype, FB, PM or text (if you rob my number off me or someone else)

 

[delta79]

things do get better.

[citation needed]

OK, I would rise to this, but not on the open areas of the forum.

Let just say from being one step way from ending it all. I now have a good life, its not perfect, there are bumps in the road. like back in 2009 losing my 17 yr old step daughter to acute myeloid leukaemia and doing CPR on my 66yr old dad a few weeks ago.

Life is not a bed of roses, even for the people you think have a good life.

 

[Sam]

Thanks, but I don't know why everyone thinks talking to someone will help. I've got a million and one people to talk to, lots of friends. It doesn't change anything, it makes no difference at all. Just like talking to a friend about a broken leg isn't going to make it any better.

I've got a terminal illness, with no cure. The end result is going to be the taking of my own life. I'm almost certain about that. Not now, but at some point in the future. It's my only long-term option, the only thing I can possibly do to relieve suffering.

There are only two pieces of advice I can give you and I think the first is the most important: The casual sex and the chasing of it has to stop, it will do nothing for your emotional wellbeing. I need to ask how many people have actually advised you of that because it's absolutely critical to your situation, I am certain of that. I'm not claiming to know you, but what you write on here and on Facebook absolutely screams, signs and flashes morse code that at me.

I literally couldn't disagree more. Casual sex is not the problem. It's one of the only things I actually enjoy. Especially since recently, I've made a move towards not having as many one-night-stands, but having more regular 'friends-with-benefits' partners that I feel more comfortable with. Sex and drinking are two of the only things that I enjoy. It's everything ELSE that's the problem. Anything you've picked up from Facebook is about emotion difficulties with boys, which is a real problem. That colossus source of unhappiness is completely different to the small source of pleasure and escape that is casual sex with close and trusted friends.

I'd also advise you to take up charity work as quickly as possible and as often as your time allows. Helping the homeless or sick would be ideal. It will help you to distract, open and change your mind, I am certain.

I've done/do a lot of charity work. Just finished several months of working at an Oxfam shop, done volunteering with refugee charities, a donor conception charity (I'm donor conceived), did a huge amount of LGBT work at my student union, and various other bits and pieces, most recently World AIDS Day stuff. I find it doesn't help my mood at all. I don't get this mythical uplifting effect that everyone else finds in charity work. I do it because I think if I can't possibly make myself happy or enjoy my time on earth, I might as well use it to help others, when I can muster the motivation out of my deep pit of despair.

I'm really really sorry that I've sort of taken over this topic.