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The I Feel Down Topic.

She may not be your natural mother, but she may still love you. I only say 'may' because I have no idea about your relationship with her. Being connected genetically has no bearing on love.

Really though, the only way you can find out is by talking to her. It's something she will need to know sooner or later. Coming out to parents is a very hard thing to do, and can be highly nerve-wracking. But it will need to be done, and if she does love you, blood or not, she will accept you.

On another note, I believe you are the first openly lesbian member of TST, so the LGBT rainbow is finally complete!
 
I feel quite content, but I have to write this somewhere, and this seems the best place, as it actually saddens me...

Cutting the crap, I feel down because I have outcasted myself from this forum, I miss the joys I have of logging in and being made welcome, I don't see that anymore, and I know the reasons...

I have said really bad things about this forum, and on meets, abandoned people after booking rooms due to shyness, making myself physically Ill so I go home, for which I am truly sorry about, I love all of you and my anger of the fighting between here and the other place got the better of me.

Getting to the point, what I'd really like is to see one or two of the members of this forum, just a simple day out or so somewhere, like Birmingham or somewhere local, but each time, I'm pushed away and it sends me right down.

If you've read this, thank you, and please acknowledge me if you wanna meet up for a drink or something and I'll see if I'm free. I normally frequent Facebook more than here atm, so if I don't reply, hit me on there. Thanks again.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2
 
I know the feeling Matt, its what puts me right off with TST, never feeling welcome on this site, with its closely knit groups. I thought TST was about the whole community? Not a select few and let the other ones feel alienated?
 
AdamJ said:
I know the feeling Matt, its what puts me right off with TST, never feeling welcome on this site, with its closely knit groups. I thought TST was about the whole community? Not a select few and let the other ones feel alienated?
Click to expand...

A forum is a place you make your own space. I have friends on here now, one or two real diamonds, helping me through one of the roughest times of my life yet I am far from any closely knit groups on here.

I am sociable as a person, I am by nature though a loner, due to aspects of my life I can't share with people - and when I do, disaster strikes as most recently.

So, if me, a prickly, opinionated, mardy gob shite who can't do right for doing f'ing wrong can make lovely friends on here, anyone can.

Seriously.

There is more to this forum than the founder or older members. (No offense to them, they're old friends in a comfortable zone).
 
A forum is a community. The people are people, you can choose to dislike the people but disliking the community because of a few people....

people also don't have to like every single member of the forum, same as when you are at work or school.

If people don't like you, they aren't obliged to because you are on the forum, you should just ignore them and try to make friends with the next. Don't take it personally.

Some have a comfortable small group of friends they don't want affected by newcomers, some want to be friends with everyone, everyone is different.
 
Gosh, this is hard to write.

I don't even know why I am doing this. I don't know why I do anything anymore to be honest.

I spend most of my time, working with charities, supporting people, doing some life coaching for free whatever - you know, trying to make the world a better place - but lately. Wow. Something hit me so hard that I have lost my identity, something I never thought possible.

I'm not writing this for sympathy, it just shows though how you can go from being someone who comes in here to try and perk others up to finding yourself in the deepest darkest depths of personal despair from no where.

I attempted, pretty rubbish I must add, to take my own life. I got into a zone. I was gone. As I careered towards a horse box rounding the corner in the middle of the road, I half snapped out of it, only to half return. I felt pains in my chest. I was ready to go.

How f'ing scary is that. I keep descending into that state. It's terrifying.

You see what I deal with internally, is rather hard to explain, it's a bit like being gay was years ago in some respects. I'm still a straight bloke lol, but normal, I ain't.

But this private part of me, is my identity, it is the loner within me, something so deeply personal that I seldom will share it (and wont here either). It's not illegal by the way pmsl!!!

However, something came along and pretty much destroyed it. Taking who I am along with it. Call it, a crisis of faith for want of a better term, but along with it, went who I believe I am.

I know I wind you lot up sometimes, or can get a bit cranky haha, but I hope you always know beneath it all my intentions are good and I love, well, most of you lol! ;)

Right now though. I am just an empty shell. This is not meant to be some melodramatic post to entice everyone's sympathies as I mentioned, but most know me here to be confident, a bit arrogant at times I guess, but overall loves a good laugh and getting stuck in.

So to those feeling down, even those like me that take pride in the "carry the F ON regardless" attitude come a right cropper from time to time and I just hope my present troubles can inspire others to not feel as bad.

I'd rather at least some good came from it.
 
I stay away from this thread because generally I'm better at walking on clouds then I am at cheering people up, but I do hope your ok fella!
 
Novas said:
I stay away from this thread because generally I'm better at walking on clouds then I am at cheering people up, but I do hope your ok fella!
Click to expand...

Yeah I know what you mean mate, cheers man I appreciate it, I hope normal sarcastic gobby service will be resumed shortly. I did post though more than anything because I thought, well I often go on about trying to work through stuff etc, so it's only fair I admit myself when stuff gets on top.

Cheers though mate.
 
A piece of possibly cliche advice but admittance is the first step to recovery (of your good mood)

Feel free to drop me a PM :)
 
TheMan said:
Gosh, this is hard to write.

I don't even know why I am doing this. I don't know why I do anything anymore to be honest.

...

I know I wind you lot up sometimes, or can get a bit cranky haha, but I hope you always know beneath it all my intentions are good and I love, well, most of you lol! ;)

Right now though. I am just an empty shell. This is not meant to be some melodramatic post to entice everyone's sympathies as I mentioned, but most know me here to be confident, a bit arrogant at times I guess, but overall loves a good laugh and getting stuck in.

So to those feeling down, even those like me that take pride in the "carry the F ON regardless" attitude come a right cropper from time to time and I just hope my present troubles can inspire others to not feel as bad.

I'd rather at least some good came from it.
Click to expand...

You're carrying on because you are strong, a trooper from our conversations! And have really made me think and be strong!

I'm confident the gobby, confident person will be back very soon...I see glimpses of him occasionally!

To everyone else...hello! I'm trying to get involved slowly. I hope I can join you properly soon! When I get a bit of confidence! x
 
The posts in here have really humbled me, and made me realise my problem is silly, while I am not looking for sympathy either, quite the opposite, I'd actually love for someone to say "Man Up, come meet me and well have a drink".

@TheMan, I have felt like that for a few years, and while not getting to the point of actually wanting to kill myself, I have hit the ground in my feelings at times, it is not a good feeling, and letting us know is the best thing you can do. If you ever want to talk, I'll be available via pm :)
 
Essays. Stress to do my best, "do this GCSE A* work Alex, its easy." BLEEEEP OFFF! Its not bloody easy. I'm 13 and they expect me to do GCSE A* work in yr 8. I am angry, well angry isn't the word but oh well. I feel hacked off as it is making me aggressive with stress of extra work so I can get better... GOD. I may lose my best mates as I am annoying them and unintentionally bullying them. I don't know how to let off steam.... GOD SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Re: Re: The I Feel Down Topic.

TheMan said:
Gosh, this is hard to write.

I don't even know why I am doing this. I don't know why I do anything anymore to be honest.

I spend most of my time, working with charities, supporting people, doing some life coaching for free whatever - you know, trying to make the world a better place - but lately. Wow. Something hit me so hard that I have lost my identity, something I never thought possible.

I'm not writing this for sympathy, it just shows though how you can go from being someone who comes in here to try and perk others up to finding yourself in the deepest darkest depths of personal despair from no where.

I attempted, pretty rubbish I must add, to take my own life. I got into a zone. I was gone. As I careered towards a horse box rounding the corner in the middle of the road, I half snapped out of it, only to half return. I felt pains in my chest. I was ready to go.

How f'ing scary is that. I keep descending into that state. It's terrifying.

You see what I deal with internally, is rather hard to explain, it's a bit like being gay was years ago in some respects. I'm still a straight bloke lol, but normal, I ain't.

But this private part of me, is my identity, it is the loner within me, something so deeply personal that I seldom will share it (and wont here either). It's not illegal by the way pmsl!!!

However, something came along and pretty much destroyed it. Taking who I am along with it. Call it, a crisis of faith for want of a better term, but along with it, went who I believe I am.

I know I wind you lot up sometimes, or can get a bit cranky haha, but I hope you always know beneath it all my intentions are good and I love, well, most of you lol! ;)

Right now though. I am just an empty shell. This is not meant to be some melodramatic post to entice everyone's sympathies as I mentioned, but most know me here to be confident, a bit arrogant at times I guess, but overall loves a good laugh and getting stuck in.

So to those feeling down, even those like me that take pride in the "carry the F ON regardless" attitude come a right cropper from time to time and I just hope my present troubles can inspire others to not feel as bad.

I'd rather at least some good came from it.
Click to expand...

Keep smiling :)

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2
 
Re: Re: The I Feel Down Topic.

Pixie-Ro said:
You know when you stop yourself from thinking about something because it just hurts too much, but then something happens to remind you and it's all you can think about? That.
Click to expand...

Yes I understand totally :-(

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2
 
Pixie-Ro I understand as well, I lost my step daughter to leukaemia and everytime i see or hear adverts for race for life. it remind me of her and the scar on my heart from loosing her hurts again.

The Man.
TheMan said:
I attempted, pretty rubbish I must add, to take my own life. I got into a zone. I was gone. As I careered towards a horse box rounding the corner in the middle of the road, I half snapped out of it, only to half return. I felt pains in my chest. I was ready to go.

How f'ing scary is that. I keep descending into that state. It's terrifying.
Click to expand...

I know that feeling all too well, This is coffee corner so I wont go into it here.
 
If anyone feels the urge to rant/talk/anything, feel free to PM me. I may act like an idiot but there is a caring part of me. I'll answer PMs ASAP, if I'm asleep/in Sixth Form it may be a few hours.

My posts have that many mistakes in them?! Damn this Tapatalk milarky :)
 
My social ineptitude outside of my friends on this forum has really gotten the better of me :(

Essentially, this weekend - where I have been with so many lovely people - has made me realise how it compares to my 'real' life - one where I hardly see anyone other than my work colleagues and family (both of whom are awesome, there just isnt enough of them...). This is probably partially my own doing, but I'm the sort of person who thrives off chatting to people, and I'd almost tried to get that side out of myself over the last few months, accepting that this lack of social interaction was just gonna be the rest of my life, but obviously it hasn't really worked, going on how I feel at the moment :/

I know the paragraph above probably doesn't make sense, I just needed somewhere to vent before my bottled up feelings overspill, which is not a good idea, as I'm currently at work!
 
I'm in a similar situation, Mike. I have pretty much no social life outside TowersStreet, and whilst it's good to have strong friendships with loads of people on here, it sucks that I just don't have the same links with people down in Penryn. I can hold a conversation for a few minutes with some of my uni friends, but I can't do the same with others. Back home is much easier, but it's not going to be much longer until I leave those friends behind and move to Biddulph, and I'm guessing that my social life will go even further down the pan as a result, what with new people to get to know, plus my final year of uni in Exeter is going to be interesting. Most of the people I know on my degree are moving to Exeter as well, which should make things easier, and I know a couple of people who live in the city as well, which will be good for me. My parents are trying to persuade me to go to the same church as them every week, but I don't want to go for one reason - I haven't felt very comfortable in church ever since I realised that I'm gay.

For those of you who don't know, my dad works as a minister in the Methodist church, and my mum works with youth in the Methodist church. Ever since I realised that I was gay last year, it's been a real struggle for me to keep it hidden from my parents for this long. Last year, I went to Spring Harvest (a large Christian conference thingy held at Butlins in Minehead & Skegness), and I hated pretty much every second of it. I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, and I was honestly close to just grabbing my stuff and leaving to return home. This year, my parents want to go to New Wine, which is a similar type of thing to Spring Harvest. Going on what happened last year at Spring Harvest, I really don't want to go, but I feel the only way I can get out of going is to tell my parents the truth, and I don't think I'm ready to do that yet. If they ask, I'm not going to lie, as that could cause more problems. It's really hard. :/
 
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