Thorpe Park - Temporary shipping container hotel to be built - The Crashpad

A one night stay for 4 for south meet is £207. Apparently that includes tickets, so I'm not sure how it works with MAPs and TAPs? And that's 25% off as well!

For comparison, the same night in Splash for 4 with breakfast and tickets for 2 days in £258. Without tickets, for MAPers and AAPers, it's only £120 B+B

It seems that Thorpe have out starred ATH and Splash, with the crash pad being 4star!

Staines.

 

Chertsey is a good Chav name.

It's like Courtney and Chastity together!

 

Makes you think though eh?

Park Locations:

Windsor
Kingston
Alton

You can imagine Eton having students with names like that
....

Staines. Bobbleheads. Shipping Container Hotels. Maps with people ...... in the bushes.

They really are idiots at Thorpe, sorry.. THORPE, aren't they? Presently akin to Lunatics running the asylum.

 

So it's a shoebox, used by up to four people who have been eating nothing but themepark food all day, and they put the toilet door right next to the beds!? Can you imagine the nightmares that will come wafting out of that bathroom to choke your slumber!

I hope these rooms have mighty powerful extraction fans!

 

If rooms that are so cramped with little activity to offer are classed as 4 star, then surely Alton's hotels should be at least 4 star considering they have bars, entertainment, and the water park!

It really baffles me...

I just can't see many people wanting to return to Thorpe after staying in these rooms as they are too confined and do not offer enough to make people want to return.

 

I'd happily stay in the box. I'm looking into it for later this year. I don't care for all the snobby "It's small, it's chav-y" shouts, it'll be a laugh.

 

WHAT?

I think they have stolen Chessington's new giraffes, because my goodness they are having one here!!!

They'd be lucky to get ONE for those abominations!!

Note to Thorpe: Cramming in some Ikea style glorified bunk beds, with a toilet, some B&Q ceiling tiles and halogen lights - with barely enough room to fuss a pussy...cat, never mind swing one, does not four star accommodation make!

The first time I heard the phrase "Stacking is Slacking" was in the Nemesis queue Saturday, THORPE as usual, take it to the next level, by continuing this notion actually into the on site accommodation!

Stacking is Fapping is far more representative of my considerations on this awful tat!

 

Contemporary, stylish, comfortable, well laid out, appropriate size for either uno persona or perhaps a couple that don't mind watching each other on the crapper.

Remember these boxes were designed, rather brilliantly, to be portable and available at festivals, formula one etc. As a concept in that regards, they are fantastic! For Merlin to build one and then self rate it four stars?

All I can say, is it is a good job for a certain staff and departments, that I do not run Merlin. How Varney allows this rubbish to go out everywhere, is unfathomable to me. It is embarrassing.

Lowest common denominator always it seems at THORPE PARK.

(By the way, if it was marketed as it is, and for what it is, and at again an appropriate price point I wouldn't mind - but they don't, again)

 

Yeah, the 4 star thing is embarrassing, and I can't see how they can fit more than 3 at most, but it'd be a laugh, it'd be different, and to just spend one night in, it's bearable.

 

Oh Merlin! <3


It seems ticketless prices vary. You can add an extra night either side of the day you're on park and the Saturday night of south meet is £102 and the Monday night after is £87.

 

I feel claustrophobic just by looking at the pictures....

 

They probably won't lose money on this, but it'll damage their customer satisfactions ratings amongst people unfortunate enough to fall for this spectacularly.

i.e. they probably won't have trouble filling the rooms, it's just that the people who do go will probably never want to go near Thorpe Park again...

 

Marketing the Crash Pad as 4* is simply unethical (if nothing else!) given the room size and facilities.
It'd be interesting to see what visitEngland/the AA would rate the accomodation as..

 

It's desirable to stay the night in, in the same way that "I'm a Celebrity" is somewhat entertaining... it's so basic, it's fun.

I still cannot quite get over the irony that Merlin have actually added a hotel made of shipping containers. This fact is still a hurdle in my struggle to take this entire decision seriously. Utterly, utterly bizarre.