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The I Feel Down Topic.
- Thread starter Adam
- Start date
MattyH
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- GIIBBB
Adam James said:
www.railforums.co.uk - A friendly Forum Site, with train drivers, and railway staff on it, they will be able to advise you better than anyone on here i suspect (No offence to the rest of you, just they have been there.)
BigAl
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Forbidden Journey
Feeling a bit down right now as lately I've noticed that often when I try and join in with a conversation I more often than not just get ignored or everyone goes quite until I've gone and the conversation resumes, or it's usually me joining a group of people talking and then only one person responding until I've gone and then everyone else starts to talk again.
I always try to join in and talk with everyone but I think now I've got to the point where I just cba any more. I've had this for pretty much all of my life, no matter who I've met or tried to make friends with and I constantly end up feeling stupid and I don't think I should really waste any more time pretending that things will change.
I first noticed this a few months ago but ignored it, but then recently I noticed it get more and more obvious and now I just feel like I make people feel uncomfortable when I try to join a conversation and I wish people would have said something sooner so that I didn't have to make the effort. I'm not the most confident person in the world and this is one of the reasons why.
After all, I can't feel down because nobody wants to speak to me if I don't join in in the first place. Thanks to the few who do speak to me though.
I always try to join in and talk with everyone but I think now I've got to the point where I just cba any more. I've had this for pretty much all of my life, no matter who I've met or tried to make friends with and I constantly end up feeling stupid and I don't think I should really waste any more time pretending that things will change.
I first noticed this a few months ago but ignored it, but then recently I noticed it get more and more obvious and now I just feel like I make people feel uncomfortable when I try to join a conversation and I wish people would have said something sooner so that I didn't have to make the effort. I'm not the most confident person in the world and this is one of the reasons why.
After all, I can't feel down because nobody wants to speak to me if I don't join in in the first place. Thanks to the few who do speak to me though.
Harv
TS Member
A computer game not worth blowing out of proportion? Maybe. Doesn't change the fact that 3 years worth of free time was put into RCT for it to die on me. I know it's immature and self-indulgent compared to other's problems but I feel so depressed at how all that effort is completely in vain, before I got to showcase my work. 
Just like this time most weeks, I feel down, but slightly more than usual hence my contribution to this thread. There's no reason for me feeling like this, and I know I'll be fine in a day or 2. But still, it's not nice to feel this way at all..
Alas, the only cause is me over exaggerating my own thoughts and over thinking, as per usual. Or at least that's my theory of why it's happening, there doesn't seem to be a logical reason for me to feel this way otherwise.
I'll be fine in a day or two, once I've calmed down my thoughts... But it always helps to just sort of use the forum as a note pad. Seeing these thoughts in text form always eases my mind. And I already feel somewhat better.
Alas, the only cause is me over exaggerating my own thoughts and over thinking, as per usual. Or at least that's my theory of why it's happening, there doesn't seem to be a logical reason for me to feel this way otherwise.
I'll be fine in a day or two, once I've calmed down my thoughts... But it always helps to just sort of use the forum as a note pad. Seeing these thoughts in text form always eases my mind. And I already feel somewhat better.
Mi-Nigle
TS Member
First time posting here, not so much as a cry for help, but more as a way of collecting my issues into some sort of coherent form to vent them in an impartial environment.
I'd been single for 4 years up until about 2 months ago when I started going out with a girl whom I've known for years, but never explored that particular avenue. I just suddenly started thinking about her differently after spending a day out with her and texting for a while afterwards. I ended up asking her on a date, she said yes, and that was that. As it turned out, she'd like me for years and never showed how she felt in any way, shape or form - I was completely oblivious to it.
So everything's going great, there's that honeymoon stage where you're just head over heels over each other, constantly texting, meeting, thinking of one another and I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. We have very similar interests which fuels the chemistry which even carried over in texting. She's got a very distinct way of texting, maybe others wouldn't notice but there are little flecks of charisma and charm which reflect her personality. They were thoughtful too, for example she set an alarm to wake her so she could text me good luck for a job interview. She told me how much she loves my good morning texts and that they make her grin ear-to-ear. However, lately I'd noticed that these flecks were dwindling, rather quickly I might add, and it started to feel like she was just going through the motions. You know, the classic generic texting script - 'How are you?' 'How's your day been?' 'Was uni ok?' etc. It was like she was texting for the sake of replying to me. The replies were taking longer and longer too, it could take hours for her to reply. I completely understand that she's not under some obligatory contract to pick up her phone and form a response within a certain time and I myself have a bad track record for prompt text replying, that's not what bothered me. It was because it was out of character for her. Also, it felt different while we were physically together, she didn't seem as enthusiastic and any spontaneous affection from her became rare. Naturally I begin to over-think everything making the situation worse and worse in my head and, as a result, I start worrying in overdrive.
I talk to some friends about it and they reassure me that everything's fine and she might just be going through a rough patch or having bad days. She'd had a lot of uni work which I know can be an overwhelming pressure. Sure enough things seemed to be going back to normal but I couldn't help but wonder whether I was just trying to shut out and ignore what I was noticing to make everything feel hunky-dory. I started to wonder whether the 'honeymoon stage' was simply ending after just over a month, but I couldn't help feeling that's a little quick.
(As I write this I am realising the sheer amount of events/issues which influence these thoughts and that I'll never get them all down, so there's information missing.)
Skip forward a few weeks to this one - the mundane texts have continued in essence after trying to text her more, trying to give her space, trying to be more affectionate, less affectionate... nothing seemed to work. I talked to another friend who, after hearing what I was thinking, explained that I was coming across as needy. I was coming across as a guy who needs that contact from his girlfriend on a day to day, hour to hour basis in order to be happy or to get on with his day. She said that would put unwanted pressure on her. Annoyingly, it made sense. I thought about things I'd said to her and the general frequency of daily contact and it would indeed have come across that way. It's annoying because I'm not needy, I don't feel the need to make her smile in order to gain appreciation or gratification and I can see now that it would have looked exactly like that. The only reasons for my habits were because A) I was simply carrying on how we acted from the beginning or B) They were genuine attempts to cheer her up or make her day better or even something as simple as making her smile. Everything I was doing was (as I thought anyway) to make her feel good.
I have a theory about why I'm like this. The fact is the only other relationship I've had was a 6 month one 4 years ago. Lack of experience comes to mind. Maybe I simply don't understand how I should be because it's a situation that's fairly alien to me. On the other hand though, she's only ever had one relationship too so are we both learning stuff as we go?
Anyway, I had a 'revelation' yesterday. I looked over my texts and thought about things I say to her, conversations we have - I saw how badly they looked like cries for appreciation and it made me hate myself. I was shocked at how that didn't occur to me as I was writing the texts. To me at the time, they were just cute little jokes or comments and I suddenly realised how tiring they must be to read on a regular basis. I suddenly understood her frustration, which was coming through to me clear as crystal. I found it funny that she'd wanted me for years and, now that she has me, it's not how she imagined. The phrase "Never meet your heroes" keeps going round in my head.
I decided not to text her at all yesterday, just to really give her some space and, if she wanted to, she could text me and only then would I reply. I'd refrain from the daft jokes and simply talk to her like a normal human being. Alas she didn't text, but I was okay with that. I wasn't sat at home checking my phone every two minutes or grabbing it furiously every time it did go off. Today I text her good morning and simply asked her a question about a film (it was actually relevant, not just random) and she replied fine. No more during the day, then I get a small one this evening out the blue bursting with her usual charm. We have a small conversation and things feel back to normal, the replies are even coming back quick. Excellent. But, here's where things go wrong. In the excitement of finally working out what the problem was, I just revert back to the dickish texting without even realising. Send. I notice that I've not had a reply for a while so I go back into the conversation are re-read my last text. It's awful. I could think of 100 better things I could have said. And I haven't received a reply since!
So that's it really so far. It's most likely a minor, even moronic problem compared to many on here but it's what's plaguing my mind at the moment and has been for a while. I needed somewhere to voice it. More than one friend has told me I'm reading FAR too much into this and that I shouldn't read between the lines so much. It's advice that's easy to give from an outsider's point of view. I know because I've given it myself. But when you're faced with all the evidence from a first hand perspective it's very difficult to simply shrug off as 'probably nothing'.
It means so much to me because she means so much to me. I've never met someone whom I've had so much in common with and we just click together so well. I can't believe it feels like I'm losing her over something that took me so long to realise. I know what I'm doing wrong and I can't seem to make it right. I even wonder if I've passed the point of no return and if there's nothing I can do. I'm not entirely sure where to go from this point or how to change my irritating ways. I realise that this post is mainly centred around texting issues but that's simply because they're the easiest to explain. There are also issues when we're together but I think I've explained the general gist of the situation well enough here, otherwise it would probably be twice as long.
If you've got this far, thank you for taking the time to read.
I'd been single for 4 years up until about 2 months ago when I started going out with a girl whom I've known for years, but never explored that particular avenue. I just suddenly started thinking about her differently after spending a day out with her and texting for a while afterwards. I ended up asking her on a date, she said yes, and that was that. As it turned out, she'd like me for years and never showed how she felt in any way, shape or form - I was completely oblivious to it.
So everything's going great, there's that honeymoon stage where you're just head over heels over each other, constantly texting, meeting, thinking of one another and I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. We have very similar interests which fuels the chemistry which even carried over in texting. She's got a very distinct way of texting, maybe others wouldn't notice but there are little flecks of charisma and charm which reflect her personality. They were thoughtful too, for example she set an alarm to wake her so she could text me good luck for a job interview. She told me how much she loves my good morning texts and that they make her grin ear-to-ear. However, lately I'd noticed that these flecks were dwindling, rather quickly I might add, and it started to feel like she was just going through the motions. You know, the classic generic texting script - 'How are you?' 'How's your day been?' 'Was uni ok?' etc. It was like she was texting for the sake of replying to me. The replies were taking longer and longer too, it could take hours for her to reply. I completely understand that she's not under some obligatory contract to pick up her phone and form a response within a certain time and I myself have a bad track record for prompt text replying, that's not what bothered me. It was because it was out of character for her. Also, it felt different while we were physically together, she didn't seem as enthusiastic and any spontaneous affection from her became rare. Naturally I begin to over-think everything making the situation worse and worse in my head and, as a result, I start worrying in overdrive.
I talk to some friends about it and they reassure me that everything's fine and she might just be going through a rough patch or having bad days. She'd had a lot of uni work which I know can be an overwhelming pressure. Sure enough things seemed to be going back to normal but I couldn't help but wonder whether I was just trying to shut out and ignore what I was noticing to make everything feel hunky-dory. I started to wonder whether the 'honeymoon stage' was simply ending after just over a month, but I couldn't help feeling that's a little quick.
(As I write this I am realising the sheer amount of events/issues which influence these thoughts and that I'll never get them all down, so there's information missing.)
Skip forward a few weeks to this one - the mundane texts have continued in essence after trying to text her more, trying to give her space, trying to be more affectionate, less affectionate... nothing seemed to work. I talked to another friend who, after hearing what I was thinking, explained that I was coming across as needy. I was coming across as a guy who needs that contact from his girlfriend on a day to day, hour to hour basis in order to be happy or to get on with his day. She said that would put unwanted pressure on her. Annoyingly, it made sense. I thought about things I'd said to her and the general frequency of daily contact and it would indeed have come across that way. It's annoying because I'm not needy, I don't feel the need to make her smile in order to gain appreciation or gratification and I can see now that it would have looked exactly like that. The only reasons for my habits were because A) I was simply carrying on how we acted from the beginning or B) They were genuine attempts to cheer her up or make her day better or even something as simple as making her smile. Everything I was doing was (as I thought anyway) to make her feel good.
I have a theory about why I'm like this. The fact is the only other relationship I've had was a 6 month one 4 years ago. Lack of experience comes to mind. Maybe I simply don't understand how I should be because it's a situation that's fairly alien to me. On the other hand though, she's only ever had one relationship too so are we both learning stuff as we go?
Anyway, I had a 'revelation' yesterday. I looked over my texts and thought about things I say to her, conversations we have - I saw how badly they looked like cries for appreciation and it made me hate myself. I was shocked at how that didn't occur to me as I was writing the texts. To me at the time, they were just cute little jokes or comments and I suddenly realised how tiring they must be to read on a regular basis. I suddenly understood her frustration, which was coming through to me clear as crystal. I found it funny that she'd wanted me for years and, now that she has me, it's not how she imagined. The phrase "Never meet your heroes" keeps going round in my head.
I decided not to text her at all yesterday, just to really give her some space and, if she wanted to, she could text me and only then would I reply. I'd refrain from the daft jokes and simply talk to her like a normal human being. Alas she didn't text, but I was okay with that. I wasn't sat at home checking my phone every two minutes or grabbing it furiously every time it did go off. Today I text her good morning and simply asked her a question about a film (it was actually relevant, not just random) and she replied fine. No more during the day, then I get a small one this evening out the blue bursting with her usual charm. We have a small conversation and things feel back to normal, the replies are even coming back quick. Excellent. But, here's where things go wrong. In the excitement of finally working out what the problem was, I just revert back to the dickish texting without even realising. Send. I notice that I've not had a reply for a while so I go back into the conversation are re-read my last text. It's awful. I could think of 100 better things I could have said. And I haven't received a reply since!
So that's it really so far. It's most likely a minor, even moronic problem compared to many on here but it's what's plaguing my mind at the moment and has been for a while. I needed somewhere to voice it. More than one friend has told me I'm reading FAR too much into this and that I shouldn't read between the lines so much. It's advice that's easy to give from an outsider's point of view. I know because I've given it myself. But when you're faced with all the evidence from a first hand perspective it's very difficult to simply shrug off as 'probably nothing'.
It means so much to me because she means so much to me. I've never met someone whom I've had so much in common with and we just click together so well. I can't believe it feels like I'm losing her over something that took me so long to realise. I know what I'm doing wrong and I can't seem to make it right. I even wonder if I've passed the point of no return and if there's nothing I can do. I'm not entirely sure where to go from this point or how to change my irritating ways. I realise that this post is mainly centred around texting issues but that's simply because they're the easiest to explain. There are also issues when we're together but I think I've explained the general gist of the situation well enough here, otherwise it would probably be twice as long.
If you've got this far, thank you for taking the time to read.
Sam
TS Member
God I feel so unhappy. So tired. Really low mood. Can't really do anything productive or creative. Haven't in days. Just felt unhappy. Lying in bed feeling low, or eating breakfast feeling low, or doing stuff with friends feeling low, or cooking dinner feeling low. I never feel happy, ever. Or even a constant flatness like some people describe. Just a constant low, a constant despair.
Tomorrow is not going to be a fun day.
I'm no longer happy in my relationship, things needed to change, they haven't. I've had enough. I've got to end this, can't go on feeling so unhappy. We've been going out for just over a year, and it's going to be so hard to find the words to break up, but i need to do it.
Never been in this position before, and am absolutely dreading it. He can get quite angry, what if it kicks off? Oh, this is going to be so hard
I'm no longer happy in my relationship, things needed to change, they haven't. I've had enough. I've got to end this, can't go on feeling so unhappy. We've been going out for just over a year, and it's going to be so hard to find the words to break up, but i need to do it.
Never been in this position before, and am absolutely dreading it. He can get quite angry, what if it kicks off? Oh, this is going to be so hard
Delta, I am so sorry for you dude, I just cannot imagine what you are going through. Just to let you know that even though there's probably nothing we could say to make it any easier, we're still all here to listen if you want to talk.
You tried your best and did something that a lot of people could never have the courage to do, you are incredibly brave and truly a credit to humankind to be so selfless. Bless you.
I wish you the very best Delta, and I hope you have the support you need from your friends and family.
You tried your best and did something that a lot of people could never have the courage to do, you are incredibly brave and truly a credit to humankind to be so selfless. Bless you.
I wish you the very best Delta, and I hope you have the support you need from your friends and family.