Iām always here mate, look after yourself, you know my DMs are always open.I think it's time for me to be a bit more honest with you all. My mental health's going down the pan, and I think it has been since February of this year.I just didn't properly realise until a week or two back. I don't wish to state the root cause in public at this stage, but am happy to do so via PM if anyone's interested to know. I should've done this a long time ago for other reasons (you all know what I'm on about here), but I've got an appointment booked with my GP for a couple of weeks' time, where I'm hopeful we'll be able to start getting something sorted so I can get my mental health back on track.
Part of me wonders if I just subconsciously wanted to power on through and hope it'd get better of its own accord, or by my usual tactic of talking it out to friends (apologies in particular to @Ted). As valuable as things like that are to me, I'm at the point where I've had to admit that for the first time in my life, I need professional help. I don't know how long it'll take until I'm better again, which is unsettling, but I know this is something I can't put a timeframe on.
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The I Feel Down Topic.
WickerwomanH
TS Member
I failed my (one of my many) driving test this week, and for this one I'm especially bummed. I'm sure that anyone here who has failed a driving test knows the absolute crushing feeling failing gives you, but this one hit especially hard for me as I was so, so sure I'd pass, and I had so many plans in anticipation for it. One of which is that I had planned to finally get a merlin pass, as I could finally drive myself to AT as often and whenever I wanted, and attend meets, and have my own freedom as an enthusiast. My family, and quite a lot of my friends, have no knowledge, or at least not a huge depth of understanding, of how much being an enthusiast or AT means to me, and being able to drive would have meant that that wouldn't matter; I would have the freedom to satisfy my interests on my own, without having to explain this hobby to anyone who wouldn't understand it. And now again I just feel so so far away once again from being able to do that. It's so incredibly frustrating. I feel, and I know, out of so many people here, I have such a very limited knowledge of coasters, and theme parks, and manufacturers, etc, but that aside, AT truly is my happy place and where I want to be as often as I possibly can, and I felt to close to having that opportunity to be there whenever I wanted, without having to explain the 'weird' attachment I have to it, and now, again, it feels so far away, and I just feel so, so let down. I was so hopeful, and so confident, and now I'm genuinely so heartbroken that the plans I had are now so much further away
Keep going chuck, any test is a bit of a nightmare.
At least it isn't a single shot thing, just keep up trying.
...and my first ever sneak off to the Towers on my own was very special...very very early until rather late to beat the motorway traffic, mixed up with my first wander round the village.
Get your next test booked, and have that as your target.
Bet it was a southern examiner...
At least it isn't a single shot thing, just keep up trying.
...and my first ever sneak off to the Towers on my own was very special...very very early until rather late to beat the motorway traffic, mixed up with my first wander round the village.
Get your next test booked, and have that as your target.
Bet it was a southern examiner...
NuttySquirrel
TS Member
I'm sorry to hear that Heidi - it's natural to be disappointed. Especially when the freedom of being able to drive means so much to you.
It took me four tests, four instructors (five if you count my dad!), the best part of Ā£1000 and around 2 years of lessons to pass my driving test. It was the most difficult and stressful thing I ever made myself do (including my Master's course!). But I got there in the end - and so will you, I'm sure of it. Do you have a family car to practice in outside of lessons? I found that really helpful alongside the formal lessons. It also took me a really long time to find the right instructor for my learning style - so if that's something you're concerned about it doesn't hurt to shop around.
Also - and this is kind of sneaky but not technically illegal as far as I'm aware - it's often possible to find the driving test routes for your own city online so that you can practice the routes ahead of your test. I worked through the list with my dad, and by coincidence the one I got in my final test was one we'd practiced together that very same morning! (I like to think I would have passed anyway, but it was certainly one less thing to worry about!)
I've been driving for over ten years now and I absolutely love it. I think the amount of time it took me to learn has made me a better, safer and more resilient driver in the long run, so I have no regrets - except for how much I beat myself up for my failures at the time.
Good luck for the next time - and looking forward to seeing you at a meet sometime!
Skyscraper
TS Member
Sorry to hear that Heidi, don't let it get you down and fingers crossed that you'll pass next time.
Matt N
TS Member
What a shame, I know you'd mentioned before about wanting to pass your driving test ASAP, hopefully you'll be able to get back on track soon and hopefully retake the test whenever possible. I'm sure you'll smash it next time.
WickerwomanH
TS Member
Thanks for the messages of support everyone, it's very much appreciated <3
Matt N
TS Member
Sorry to bring the mood down, and for talking about a somewhat inconsequential problem, but Iām just feeling a bit down this afternoon.
My reason? It just feels like everything is a constant barrage of negativity at the moment, wherever you look. If itās not one thing, itās another. It feels like you canāt catch a break from the crises at the moment.
If itās not energy bills rising to over Ā£3,000, itās strikes. If itās not strikes, itās the war in Ukraine. If itās not the war in Ukraine, itās Brexit. If itās not Brexit, itās the two PM candidates fighting about something or other and saying how awful everything is. If itās not the battle for PM, then itās some awful new COVID variant thatās been discovered.
It just feels like nothing good happens at the moment; thereās always one crisis or another dominating the airwaves. And some of the threats being made about the future really frighten me; the talk of energy bills rising to over Ā£5,000 by the middle of next year, the talk of widespread blackouts during the winter, the talk of nuclear bombs, the talk of a repeat of the āWinter of Discontentāā¦ itās all just so demoralising.
I know I have a reputation for being the optimist around these parts, so I apologise for not living up to that reputation on this occasion, but I am also a worrier, and Iāll admit Iām incredibly frightened about what the future has to hold, and stressed out by all the consecutive crises seemingly unfolding around me with very little I can do about themā¦
Iām also a little bit stressed about some things more personal to me. Iām stressed about going back to uni next month, particularly about getting there with the train strikes (I rely solely on public transport). Iām also worried Iām not progressing fast enough at driving. Iāve had 9 lessons over the course of 3 months, and I still donāt feel very good at it; my driving instructor still helps me steer a fair bit, and it feels like I have a fair few different issues (overly sudden braking, poor steering, slow reaction times, not being assertive enough with the gas pedalā¦). And thatās even with the fact Iām learning automatic driving rather than manualā¦
Sorry to bring the mood down, but Iām just feeling a little stressed about a multitude of thingsā¦
My reason? It just feels like everything is a constant barrage of negativity at the moment, wherever you look. If itās not one thing, itās another. It feels like you canāt catch a break from the crises at the moment.
If itās not energy bills rising to over Ā£3,000, itās strikes. If itās not strikes, itās the war in Ukraine. If itās not the war in Ukraine, itās Brexit. If itās not Brexit, itās the two PM candidates fighting about something or other and saying how awful everything is. If itās not the battle for PM, then itās some awful new COVID variant thatās been discovered.
It just feels like nothing good happens at the moment; thereās always one crisis or another dominating the airwaves. And some of the threats being made about the future really frighten me; the talk of energy bills rising to over Ā£5,000 by the middle of next year, the talk of widespread blackouts during the winter, the talk of nuclear bombs, the talk of a repeat of the āWinter of Discontentāā¦ itās all just so demoralising.
I know I have a reputation for being the optimist around these parts, so I apologise for not living up to that reputation on this occasion, but I am also a worrier, and Iāll admit Iām incredibly frightened about what the future has to hold, and stressed out by all the consecutive crises seemingly unfolding around me with very little I can do about themā¦
Iām also a little bit stressed about some things more personal to me. Iām stressed about going back to uni next month, particularly about getting there with the train strikes (I rely solely on public transport). Iām also worried Iām not progressing fast enough at driving. Iāve had 9 lessons over the course of 3 months, and I still donāt feel very good at it; my driving instructor still helps me steer a fair bit, and it feels like I have a fair few different issues (overly sudden braking, poor steering, slow reaction times, not being assertive enough with the gas pedalā¦). And thatās even with the fact Iām learning automatic driving rather than manualā¦
Sorry to bring the mood down, but Iām just feeling a little stressed about a multitude of thingsā¦
Negative news sells and gets clicks thatās why thatās all that gets heard. Plenty of positive news out there too Iām sure. Just do what I do, I never watch the news, or even TV to be fair (only streaming), not read a print newspaper for 20 years or more. (I will read the occasional Mail or Express article just to laugh at the comments by their rabid followers). I live in ignorant bliss 
and much happier for it. If the 4 minute siren went off Iād assume a rave or 80s acid house party had come to town.
Iām terms of driving, as much as having a car gives you plenty of independence, driving isnāt for everyone and can take time to master. You need to ask your instructor to be honest with you on your chances of ā getting itā.
They should not be helping you steer still after 9 lessons. Automatic cars are generally easy to drive (easy to say when Iāve been driving for 30 years and driven both Auto and manual and can switch from one to the other seamlessly) so if you are struggling maybe need to take a step back and think about why?
Ask yourself, is the instructor any good? Would you benefit from another one, benefit from taking a break from learning for a couple of months then trying again?
Carrying on regardless will not improve your confidence if you still struggle)
and much happier for it. If the 4 minute siren went off Iād assume a rave or 80s acid house party had come to town. Iām terms of driving, as much as having a car gives you plenty of independence, driving isnāt for everyone and can take time to master. You need to ask your instructor to be honest with you on your chances of ā getting itā.
They should not be helping you steer still after 9 lessons. Automatic cars are generally easy to drive (easy to say when Iāve been driving for 30 years and driven both Auto and manual and can switch from one to the other seamlessly) so if you are struggling maybe need to take a step back and think about why?
Ask yourself, is the instructor any good? Would you benefit from another one, benefit from taking a break from learning for a couple of months then trying again?
Carrying on regardless will not improve your confidence if you still struggle)
I understand how you feel Matt, I've experienced similar feelings. It's just one of those days. I get what you mean about everything being negative, but taking a bit from you and what you'd usually say there's always light at the end of the tunnel, we aren't going to be stuck in this mess forever.
I wouldn't worry too much about the train strikes, they have to announce them two weeks in advance so you'll always have notice. You can sort out as and when from there. I'm sure you uni will be understand of the situation, just tell them what's going on. As for driving as much as I can't speak myself about driving (as I won't ever be able to do so) I do think that a lot of people really struggle to get used to it. Further to this the majority of people don't pass first time, it's designed to be difficult after all. To me it sounds like your driving instructor is just making sure your driving is as good as it can be. I understand that it can feel like they are being rude or teaching you to suck eggs however I very much doubt that's the case. My dad once told me a story about his first driving lesson that I think is relevant here, my dad got into the instructors car, my dad told the instructor he could already drive to a certain extend. Dad got into the driving seat and spun out out of the car park, the instructor then proceeded to give me dad a good telling off, for driving to fast, doing a crappy hand brake turn and just generally being an idiot. You're not doing any of those things, you're just learning, as with learning everything it takes time. Some things come naturally to people some come with experience perhaps driving is just one of those for you Matt.
My PM's are always open, so please do reach out if you want to talk to someone, I'm happy to just be someone to talk to if you want that. Look after yourself Matt.
Nickš¢
TS Member
We started purposefully avoiding watching the news. Working on the idea that if something is that important you will hear about it. Ditto being controlled over social media use and what is shown there. When somebody first suggested the idea I thought they were mad but in truth it's great for mental health.
It's all about availability of information bias.
It's all about availability of information bias.
BarryZola
TS Member
It's very hard to avoid 'the news' if you use any sort of social media. I don't watch 'the news' on the telly as I don't really watch much telly, but you just come across it on social media. Then you have to decide whether to read it in detail or not. It's very hard to avoid it totally unless you just totally avoid newspapers, TV and social media.
Anyway, Matt. You always come across as a very intelligent pleasant young man on here. You've obviously been brought up very well. We all worry about things a bit too much from time to time, or a lot of the time. Me included. Tomorrow is a new day. The sunshine always follows a dark night. You'll get the hang of the driving in your own time and eventually this rubbish in Ukraine will stop and things will get better. Just try to distract yourself with something positive whenever you can
Anyway, Matt. You always come across as a very intelligent pleasant young man on here. You've obviously been brought up very well. We all worry about things a bit too much from time to time, or a lot of the time. Me included. Tomorrow is a new day. The sunshine always follows a dark night. You'll get the hang of the driving in your own time and eventually this rubbish in Ukraine will stop and things will get better. Just try to distract yourself with something positive whenever you can
Nickš¢
TS Member
Exactly - this is why I don't
All I can say is that it is a solution that is very beneficial. The idea is there... Some might find it useful.
QTXAdsy
TS Member
I never watch the news, actually ever since Brexit or 2015/16 in general it seems that any news outline has gone off the rails for rational thinking. Yeah, it is for selling papers and for clickbate but all the same you have to wonder if they are unintentionally causing mental harm.
Social media is arguably worse with news with many folks acting like the guy from Zulu crying out 'You're all going to die!' Which honestly doesn't help anyone.
I only use social media to check on my various hobbies seeing what's new and to talk with friends and work related, never for the news, I've long since given up on them and the recent negative news has been the final straw for me following news outlets.
So yeah, those who profit on negative news will get their comeuppance sooner than later I'm sure of it. Don't know how or when but they will.
Social media is arguably worse with news with many folks acting like the guy from Zulu crying out 'You're all going to die!' Which honestly doesn't help anyone.
I only use social media to check on my various hobbies seeing what's new and to talk with friends and work related, never for the news, I've long since given up on them and the recent negative news has been the final straw for me following news outlets.
So yeah, those who profit on negative news will get their comeuppance sooner than later I'm sure of it. Don't know how or when but they will.
Nickš¢
TS Member
People are motivated by fear or self-interest. It's very hard to pedal self-interest via the news. 
www.bbc.com
Anyway - apologies this is getting a bit OT.
Psychology: Why bad news dominates the headlines
Why is the news filled with disaster and corruption? It may be because weāre drawn to depressing stories without realising, says psychologist Tom Stafford
www.bbc.com
Anyway - apologies this is getting a bit OT.
I can imagine it being even worse where you live @QTXAdsy with all the nationalist stuff that comes on the news and social media. Completely get why you ignore it all.
QTXAdsy
TS Member
Ugh, don't get me started on that, I honestly don't know what's worse, nationalism that has gotten far more toxic than even a decade ago when we had the referendum or perhaps all the other bad news that everyone else is getting.
So yeah, I'm in a tough place.
NuttySquirrel
TS Member
I haven't watched the news for months. When I do watch it I almost want to laugh at the doom-laden, attention-grabbing headlines. So much of it is overinflated. The BBC are no better than any other network (and worse than some) for sensationalism these days.
You may be impacted by train strikes (although I suspect by late September they'll have either struck a deal or given up trying) - however it's unlikely you won't be able to get to uni at all. And since Covid most universities are geared up well for remote learning if that's needed as a last resort. Also you're unlikely to be the only one affected.
I think I've mentioned it before, but it's important that you allow yourself to learn how to drive a car at your own pace and not hold yourself up to unrealistic expectations. Everyone is different and some people find this sort of thing harder than others; I've always struggled with anything that requires hand-eye coordination (sports, driving, playing musical instruments, even gaming to some extent). It doesn't meant you won't get there though, it just might take a bit longer than you were expecting. Keep at it!
You may be impacted by train strikes (although I suspect by late September they'll have either struck a deal or given up trying) - however it's unlikely you won't be able to get to uni at all. And since Covid most universities are geared up well for remote learning if that's needed as a last resort. Also you're unlikely to be the only one affected.
I think I've mentioned it before, but it's important that you allow yourself to learn how to drive a car at your own pace and not hold yourself up to unrealistic expectations. Everyone is different and some people find this sort of thing harder than others; I've always struggled with anything that requires hand-eye coordination (sports, driving, playing musical instruments, even gaming to some extent). It doesn't meant you won't get there though, it just might take a bit longer than you were expecting. Keep at it!
