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The I Feel Down Topic.
- Thread starter Adam
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BigDave
TS Member
Ok heres a question for you guys. Someone I know seems to be feeling down and with good cause. Hes recently split from a long term relationship. He seems ok, but often drops hints hes not.
How do I ask this guy if hes ok and offer support without coming across too strong, nosey or making it look like I fancy him? Might seem daft, but Im not like best mates with him and I have to work with on a daily basis and he knows I gay.
How do I ask this guy if hes ok and offer support without coming across too strong, nosey or making it look like I fancy him? Might seem daft, but Im not like best mates with him and I have to work with on a daily basis and he knows I gay.
Martin
TS Member
Ask if he fancies a pint after work or something. Tell him he hasn't seemed at his best and could do with it. It shouldn't come across as nosey or like you fancy him, and if he isn't convinced just explain you're just trying to help and maybe bring a few others from work so he's more comfortable with the idea.
James
TS Founding Member
A drink or social outing usually works.
Or just ease yourself into talking to him more. Start with general conversations then build up into getting to know them. Alternatively tell him that you've noticed he hasn't seemed he best and that if he ever wants to chat then you're always there for him. Although I'd go with Blaze's idea, offer to go out for a drink but take others along, like work colleagues. It might not seem as weird (for him) then.
Generally when someone has dropped out of a relationship and doesn't seem fine despite them saying they are... well it's most likely because they don't want others to see them down. Or they do not want to face being upset over their ex and just get on with life. Which either way you cannot win as people will always know when someone is down and if someone is avoiding feelings it will only come and hit them one day resulting in a surge of emotions.
He may be in the state of just trying to get on with life at the moment. But might be struggling to do so due to feelings for his ex still being there.
Or just ease yourself into talking to him more. Start with general conversations then build up into getting to know them. Alternatively tell him that you've noticed he hasn't seemed he best and that if he ever wants to chat then you're always there for him. Although I'd go with Blaze's idea, offer to go out for a drink but take others along, like work colleagues. It might not seem as weird (for him) then.
Generally when someone has dropped out of a relationship and doesn't seem fine despite them saying they are... well it's most likely because they don't want others to see them down. Or they do not want to face being upset over their ex and just get on with life. Which either way you cannot win as people will always know when someone is down and if someone is avoiding feelings it will only come and hit them one day resulting in a surge of emotions.
He may be in the state of just trying to get on with life at the moment. But might be struggling to do so due to feelings for his ex still being there.
Towers freak
TS Member
Hi guys, this isn't exactly a post about feeling down but rather a "I feel Meh" post.
It seams recently since I left college I've been feeling very unmotivated to the point of not getting out of bed untill the middle of the afternoon. I'm just spending the holiday doing nothing and it feels like my life is wasting away. It wasn't too bad while I was in college as I had something to ocupy my mind and my life and when the course ended I've got myself into abit of a rut. I recently joined the local gym over the summer to fill the gap that has been left, I've been a few times but I don't have the motivation to want to get up and go.
I've been in Worcester for just over 3 years and I haven't made one friend, sure there have been people on courses I've been on at college with and have got along with but have never felt a real friendship connection between any of them in the sence of having a person you go out to town or spend time talking with ect. I saw them as mere aquatences, that outside of the course I didn't really have much interaction with. As a result of this I've felt really lonely for quite awhile. It may sound strange but as much as want a proper friendship with someone I look at other peoples friendships and they seem so complicated and my other half of my brain tells me "I just can't be bothered". I think I feel like that as I've had friendships in the past and they never worked out so I kind of feel like they won't work this time. Due to not having any friendships I have no social life as a result I'm stuck in the house 24/7 and get rather bored. I don't like going out in the evenings to town or anywhere else on my own as I'd feel like such a loner and don't want people to think as such.
What makes this loneliness worse is that my younger brother and sister are both in relationships at the moment so I've been feeling like i'm missing out on the love there getting from there respective partners. I have tried to find someone by joining a dating site. I've been on it for months now and no one is intrested in me as Ive had no messages from any potential partners. This has seemed to have the reverse effect on me as its made me feel worse about myself rather than better and has helped me belive even more that I'm neither attractive or intresting to the oposite sex. I look at all the single women on the site and think theres no point in contacting any of them as I feel like I'm not worth there time or effort and that none of them would want me. I'm scared to talk to them or ask them out on a date as I fear I will be rejected and feel even worse about myself. I think this is down to my past experiances with the opposite sex. They haven't been very good as I have been rejected and hurt by many girls time and again. I just don't want to get hurt again.
Well thanks guys for taking the time to read my rather long post and hope you can give me some good advice.
It seams recently since I left college I've been feeling very unmotivated to the point of not getting out of bed untill the middle of the afternoon. I'm just spending the holiday doing nothing and it feels like my life is wasting away. It wasn't too bad while I was in college as I had something to ocupy my mind and my life and when the course ended I've got myself into abit of a rut. I recently joined the local gym over the summer to fill the gap that has been left, I've been a few times but I don't have the motivation to want to get up and go.
I've been in Worcester for just over 3 years and I haven't made one friend, sure there have been people on courses I've been on at college with and have got along with but have never felt a real friendship connection between any of them in the sence of having a person you go out to town or spend time talking with ect. I saw them as mere aquatences, that outside of the course I didn't really have much interaction with. As a result of this I've felt really lonely for quite awhile. It may sound strange but as much as want a proper friendship with someone I look at other peoples friendships and they seem so complicated and my other half of my brain tells me "I just can't be bothered". I think I feel like that as I've had friendships in the past and they never worked out so I kind of feel like they won't work this time. Due to not having any friendships I have no social life as a result I'm stuck in the house 24/7 and get rather bored. I don't like going out in the evenings to town or anywhere else on my own as I'd feel like such a loner and don't want people to think as such.
What makes this loneliness worse is that my younger brother and sister are both in relationships at the moment so I've been feeling like i'm missing out on the love there getting from there respective partners. I have tried to find someone by joining a dating site. I've been on it for months now and no one is intrested in me as Ive had no messages from any potential partners. This has seemed to have the reverse effect on me as its made me feel worse about myself rather than better and has helped me belive even more that I'm neither attractive or intresting to the oposite sex. I look at all the single women on the site and think theres no point in contacting any of them as I feel like I'm not worth there time or effort and that none of them would want me. I'm scared to talk to them or ask them out on a date as I fear I will be rejected and feel even worse about myself. I think this is down to my past experiances with the opposite sex. They haven't been very good as I have been rejected and hurt by many girls time and again. I just don't want to get hurt again.
Well thanks guys for taking the time to read my rather long post and hope you can give me some good advice.
delta79
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Nemesis, Air
Towers freak.
Self doubt is normal, everyone has it. Thing is you must be careful with the feeling of Meh and de-motivation is not the start of depression. Think about what you love to do and set a goal to do something connected with it, you may find this give you the get up and go you have losted.
As for love, some time the hard you look, the harder it is to find. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. You may not of found the love of your life and you of theirs. but they will come into your life.
Self doubt is normal, everyone has it. Thing is you must be careful with the feeling of Meh and de-motivation is not the start of depression. Think about what you love to do and set a goal to do something connected with it, you may find this give you the get up and go you have losted.
As for love, some time the hard you look, the harder it is to find. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. You may not of found the love of your life and you of theirs. but they will come into your life.
Towers freak
TS Member
I love going to Towers and theme parks (who here doesn't right) but at this moment in time I can't afford the travel costs as all my money is going driving lessons. I have applied for other jobs (my weekend job as a night club photographer doesn't pay great and plus I dislike it) but haven't heared anything back as of yet. ???
I may not be the best person to give advice here haha, but the key to this is just meeting new people. And in theory your job makes for a perfect position to get peoples numbers. Texting someone is much easier than talking face to face, so if you can get numbers then you can get to know people via text before the meet. Or, what my mate got me doing was he knew I just cant talk to girls, or new people in general, so what we would do was got to a random McDonald's, or place like that, and just walk up to a table full of people and start conversation, the worst think that could happen is they laugh, in which case we leave and they are out of my life forever, or we talk and end up with a new contact. It's quite grueling, but its better than sitting at home, sorry if I sounded a little patronizing there.
Stevie
TS Member
Hey..
Sorry for butting in here,but I needed to get some stuff off my chest (and yes, on an internet forum)
Okay, recently, I have started to feel really down, unable to think a positive thought, or even crack a god damn smile.I've been staying in bed until mid-afternoons, without any motivation to get out and get on with the day.Then when I do eventually decide to drag myself out of bed,I just spend the day in a dark room, thinking about how worthless I am, and how I'm a huge waste of space. Sometimes it just gets to the point where I'm contemplating a world with out a Stevie Hunter, and how much of an improvement it would be.
I feel like I need to help, and seek professional advice and help. But I'm too scared to tell my parents about how I'm feeling because they will just mock me and just tell me to "get a grip".
I really don't know what to do anymore!
Sorry for butting in here,but I needed to get some stuff off my chest (and yes, on an internet forum)
Okay, recently, I have started to feel really down, unable to think a positive thought, or even crack a god damn smile.I've been staying in bed until mid-afternoons, without any motivation to get out and get on with the day.Then when I do eventually decide to drag myself out of bed,I just spend the day in a dark room, thinking about how worthless I am, and how I'm a huge waste of space. Sometimes it just gets to the point where I'm contemplating a world with out a Stevie Hunter, and how much of an improvement it would be.
I feel like I need to help, and seek professional advice and help. But I'm too scared to tell my parents about how I'm feeling because they will just mock me and just tell me to "get a grip".
I really don't know what to do anymore!
DiogoJ42
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- The Metropolitan Line
Georgia, please don't take offense, but I agree with your doctor. You are scarily thin, and at your age that's not good. Hell, it's not good at any age.
Please, for your own sake, start each day with a bacon sarnie, and end it with some chocolate cake.
Please, for your own sake, start each day with a bacon sarnie, and end it with some chocolate cake.
Georgia,
I had a period of sort of semi-anorexia. Mainly due to havong serious emetophobia
and being called fat... I'm guessing sarcastically.
When I look back I look like a corpse. Trust me, do not do this to yourself and listen to your doctor. If I can find some pics, ill show what I used to look like. Versus now.
Sent from my HTC One X using Tapatalk 2
I had a period of sort of semi-anorexia. Mainly due to havong serious emetophobia
and being called fat... I'm guessing sarcastically.
When I look back I look like a corpse. Trust me, do not do this to yourself and listen to your doctor. If I can find some pics, ill show what I used to look like. Versus now.
Sent from my HTC One X using Tapatalk 2
For some odd reason, The edit button isn't appearing on my previous post, so sorry about the double post!
Here is the only picture I could find, it probably doesn't do how thin I got justice, but since you can clearly see the lines of my skull and around the wrist and white in my knuckle's and fingers are clearly visable, I was probably around 13 at a guess? give or take a year or two!
and me now a good many years later eating Ice Cream which is good for you!
Here is the only picture I could find, it probably doesn't do how thin I got justice, but since you can clearly see the lines of my skull and around the wrist and white in my knuckle's and fingers are clearly visable, I was probably around 13 at a guess? give or take a year or two!
and me now a good many years later eating Ice Cream which is good for you!
Lottie.
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Zadra, Energylandia
Not feeling down as such, more I'm annoyed at someone so this is going to be a small rant. :
I don't know why I even bother giving people advice if they are not prepared to listen to it or even see both sides of the argument in their situation. I try my best to offer well rounded advice so as not to be biased in any shape or form but I'm not prepared to give advice if some people are not going to take on board what I said or even try to make the situation better for themselves.
For those who might be intrigued as to the situation - basically, I've got a friend whose after another guy who is in a very happy relationship - and she's determined to make him her boyfriend. I don't really know what else I can do but my advice I'm offering to her is going in one ear and out the other. In this situation I'm friendly with both her, the guy she's after and his girlfriend. I just wish she would listen to what I'm saying cause it will make her life so much easier and happier.
[/rant over]
I don't know why I even bother giving people advice if they are not prepared to listen to it or even see both sides of the argument in their situation. I try my best to offer well rounded advice so as not to be biased in any shape or form but I'm not prepared to give advice if some people are not going to take on board what I said or even try to make the situation better for themselves.
For those who might be intrigued as to the situation - basically, I've got a friend whose after another guy who is in a very happy relationship - and she's determined to make him her boyfriend. I don't really know what else I can do but my advice I'm offering to her is going in one ear and out the other. In this situation I'm friendly with both her, the guy she's after and his girlfriend. I just wish she would listen to what I'm saying cause it will make her life so much easier and happier.
[/rant over]
Jem8472
TS Member
Thats something that annoys me especially if someone asks for advice and then just totally ignores it!
Its not just annoying its rude to a point as well.
But your friend is playing a dangerous game, I would put a bit of distance between you and her, no way you want to get caught in that crossfire!
Its not just annoying its rude to a point as well.
But your friend is playing a dangerous game, I would put a bit of distance between you and her, no way you want to get caught in that crossfire!
Lottie.
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Zadra, Energylandia
Jem8472 said:
Totally agree Jem!
I've kinda reached a point where I've given up with her. To be honest, I don't want to be involved at all but she asked for my advice which I have given her - she just doesn't like the fact that it's not what she wants to hear! Hopefully she will see sense and move on sooner rather than later.