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The I Feel Down Topic.

Aaaaaand I'm back.

Had the long-overdue conversation yesterday with my parents that followed up me coming out to them, and...It could've gone better. I was made to feel somewhat guilty about telling some of their friends that I'm gay before telling them, thus proving the point as to why I didn't tell them in the first place (as an additional factor here, the people I told are also my friends, and I felt comfortable telling them). Dad's stance on homosexuality was very predictable, and I can't work out whether he can't or won't change his stance. He said he was worried that I'd be going to hell due to being in a same-sex relationship (yeah, thanks for that), and the other big thing? He went on to say that if Mike and I were to get married in a church, he'd find it very difficult to attend. With regard to what Mum thought, she kinda echoed most of what Dad said.

I know it was only one conversation, but it left me feeling somewhat upset. I get the impression that my parents won't reconsider their beliefs, especially my dad, as he just can't seem to acknowledge that there may be another way of thinking about things. I feel there's an element of pride involved, and also some stubbornness. I sensed an undertone of 'You're choosing to be gay', which is complete bullshit, and not how anything works. I was getting alarm bells in my head that started to ring 'conversion therapy', and it was rather worrying.

I could be overthinking things, but I think I'm right to be concerned about what was said yesterday. I'm trying to be hopeful about the future, but it's really not easy at all when my parents believe that I'm sinning by being in a relationship with Mike. It's a struggle to know what to do next. 😢
 
They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had. And add some extra, just for you.
Nothing like a bit of Larkin for such occassions.
Fuck 'em mate.
At least you are speaking.
 
Jonathan said:
Aaaaaand I'm back.

Had the long-overdue conversation yesterday with my parents that followed up me coming out to them, and...It could've gone better. I was made to feel somewhat guilty about telling some of their friends that I'm gay before telling them, thus proving the point as to why I didn't tell them in the first place (as an additional factor here, the people I told are also my friends, and I felt comfortable telling them). Dad's stance on homosexuality was very predictable, and I can't work out whether he can't or won't change his stance. He said he was worried that I'd be going to hell due to being in a same-sex relationship (yeah, thanks for that), and the other big thing? He went on to say that if Mike and I were to get married in a church, he'd find it very difficult to attend. With regard to what Mum thought, she kinda echoed most of what Dad said.

I know it was only one conversation, but it left me feeling somewhat upset. I get the impression that my parents won't reconsider their beliefs, especially my dad, as he just can't seem to acknowledge that there may be another way of thinking about things. I feel there's an element of pride involved, and also some stubbornness. I sensed an undertone of 'You're choosing to be gay', which is complete bullshit, and not how anything works. I was getting alarm bells in my head that started to ring 'conversion therapy', and it was rather worrying.

I could be overthinking things, but I think I'm right to be concerned about what was said yesterday. I'm trying to be hopeful about the future, but it's really not easy at all when my parents believe that I'm sinning by being in a relationship with Mike. It's a struggle to know what to do next. 😢
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So sorry to hear about that mate. Really have nothing else to say or what advice to give other than people just can't seem to accept something and will fight tooth and nail to make them think otherwise. Really sad.
 
Was alone on the shop floor of the charity shop I volunteer at this morning and a pair of imbeciles decided to nick stuff right under my nose. First time it's happened when I've been on the shop floor. Sadly I'm just going to have a get used to it as it happens. Having a break now as it shook me up.
 
Crap in retail sometimes isn't it.
Many moons ago I had glue sniffers nicking tins of evo blatantly in groups from our family shop.
Had to end up locking the door on Saturday afternoons if we were in the shop alone.
One of the reasons I didn't take the place on...
That and missing the wrestling on the telly every Saturday afternoon.
Don't let the *flippers get you down mate, you are better than them.
*edited for Corner Coffee.
 
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Had surgery to remove a small cyst at the top of my arse crack 10 days ago. Haven't been able to sit down since and have been losing my mind with boredom. Can't drive anywhere but can manage short walks.

No drama, will be fighting fit by the time the stitches are removed surely?

No. Just had them removed and they didn't heal it properly, so here's to another week of laying on the sofa. Don't get sick pay either so it's another week of holiday or about £100 SSP.

My fellow theme park nerds: do not take being able to sit down for granted.
 
I’m feeling quite stressed at the moment as I start my final year of university on Tuesday.

I’ve coped with the first two years perfectly well, so I keep trying to tell myself that in theory, the third year should be no different. It’s not working, however… I keep hearing horror stories about how awful and stressful third year is, and the dissertation is constantly lurking in the back of my mind as a source of huge worry.

I’ve got a vague idea about the sort of thing I might do my dissertation on; I’ve had a broad area of Computer Science in mind for months, I’ve got a broad applicable area of this topic area that I know I’m going to be doing my specific dissertation on, and me and a potential supervisor have been working together on a dataset I will likely use over the summer. I’ve been reading some academic papers and collating their conclusions and further work into a table, and I have a broad idea of the sort of thing my dissertation might be on.

My current state of progress is not nearly refined enough to have an exact dissertation question or even an overly refined area of focus, however, and nothing from the academic papers is currently leaping out at me. As much as my mum and dad try and tell me that my dissertation is “just a big assignment”, and deep down, I know that very well, I just feel totally daunted and unsure where to go from here in terms of picking a refined question and researching a specific topic, and I’m feeling absolutely terrified by the prospect of doing a dissertation.

I’m also absolutely terrified that I haven’t done enough preparation for the year ahead, and I worry that they’ll expect me to be heading into Level 6 with an exact question in mind and ready to just hit the ground running from day 1, and I don’t feel that I’m currently at that stage by a long shot.

I also have this huge worry that the assignments will be way harder this year and that I won’t be able to juggle it all, and overall, I’m just absolutely terrified about the academic year that’s to come, as I fear that it will bring stress on a level I’ve never experienced before…

I don’t know quite what I was hoping to achieve by writing this, but I guess I just wanted to vent a little…
 
Just try to treat it like your 2nd year but with one longer last assignment at the end. Honestly, that's all it is. Don't put so much importance on your dissertation (if you don't want to). People attach some sort of mystical importance to the dissertation but it really is just a longer assignment. The key is to have nailed your 1st or 2:1 through your results in the 2nd and 3rd year so far that you can just do an average or weak pass on your dissertation and the result of it doesn't matter as the dissertation's percentage of your final grade will be minimal and not be able to budge your final degree result over or under a major grade boundary. My dissertation was one of my suboptimal grades but I still got a 1st (planned it that way after looking at my probable grade by the middle of year 3 and seeing that it's grade would make no major difference to the final award). Just look at the percentage that your dissertation will make up of your final grade over 2 years and attach the importance and time to it that it deserves, is my basic advice. You'll smash it anyway.
 
Matt N said:
I’m feeling quite stressed at the moment as I start my final year of university on Tuesday.

I’ve coped with the first two years perfectly well, so I keep trying to tell myself that in theory, the third year should be no different. It’s not working, however… I keep hearing horror stories about how awful and stressful third year is, and the dissertation is constantly lurking in the back of my mind as a source of huge worry.

I’ve got a vague idea about the sort of thing I might do my dissertation on; I’ve had a broad area of Computer Science in mind for months, I’ve got a broad applicable area of this topic area that I know I’m going to be doing my specific dissertation on, and me and a potential supervisor have been working together on a dataset I will likely use over the summer. I’ve been reading some academic papers and collating their conclusions and further work into a table, and I have a broad idea of the sort of thing my dissertation might be on.

My current state of progress is not nearly refined enough to have an exact dissertation question or even an overly refined area of focus, however, and nothing from the academic papers is currently leaping out at me. As much as my mum and dad try and tell me that my dissertation is “just a big assignment”, and deep down, I know that very well, I just feel totally daunted and unsure where to go from here in terms of picking a refined question and researching a specific topic, and I’m feeling absolutely terrified by the prospect of doing a dissertation.

I’m also absolutely terrified that I haven’t done enough preparation for the year ahead, and I worry that they’ll expect me to be heading into Level 6 with an exact question in mind and ready to just hit the ground running from day 1, and I don’t feel that I’m currently at that stage by a long shot.

I also have this huge worry that the assignments will be way harder this year and that I won’t be able to juggle it all, and overall, I’m just absolutely terrified about the academic year that’s to come, as I fear that it will bring stress on a level I’ve never experienced before…

I don’t know quite what I was hoping to achieve by writing this, but I guess I just wanted to vent a little…
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Firstly, I would suggest around 70-80% of your class feels exactly the same. So never feel that you are alone.
Secondly, enjoy your year. It may sound bizarre but you don't realise how good you have got it. I miss Uni so much. You will feel stressed, you will feel anxious but spend time with friends - you will never have these days again.
Finally... your dissertation is a big essay (your mum and dad are right). It's not any more complex than that. My dissertation was a disaster - I was neck-deep when I found that I couldn't reach a conclusion. I had done a ridiculous amount of work and didn't have enough time to restart anything. I done what I could do and submitted. It passed, but not with the mark I wanted. So even if you f*ck it up, if you put the effort in you will be fine. I have only ever been asked by one person post-uni about my dissertation.

And finally (again) - vent away if you feel you need too. Do whatever you feel you need to do to keep your mental health good. People on here seem genuinely good and I am sure you will get nothing but support. Find a friend who will be there for you - go to the pub occasionally and have a few drinks and bitch and moan... i always feel a good moan is a productive thing :)
 
Currently got another annoying cold. Throat is sore, head feels funny and my nose is constantly running like a tap. Started early Tuesday morning and I've had Tuesday and Wednesday off so far. Will be having tomorrow off as well. Hopefully tonight will be better than last night though, which was awful. I hate being unwell lol. :pensive:
 
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I know you guys actually have real problems here, so this might seem like minor inconvenience in comparison, but it’s still been eating away at me a bit
(Get ready to roll your eyes at hearing it again Thorpe park Thread regulars)

So I had this mask I made for Halloween right, and I made the (idiotic and in heindsight, naïve) decision to bring it to fight nights. I had some freinds coming as well, so I could show them too, as well as a weird nagging feeling that I other people could see it too. This is of course in true self conscious approval-seeking teenage mindset.

I had everything ready, I had the hands, the mask and even the face paint to black out the eyes when I wanted to put it on.

I arrived, and at security they said “hey, you can’t have this, people might think you are an actor, or more pressingly, you might be trying to cause trouble and get away with it”. Fair enough. Even if I had no malicious intentions, they don’t know that, so fair play. They had a good reason. They gave me two options: give the mask to them, and retrieve it at the end of the day, or make the people who dropped me off make a U-turn and pick the mask up again.

Hmmm… so I could inconvenience the people kind enough to drop me off, or I could just get it back at the end of the day! No brainier!

I proceed to have a very good day, despite the amount of rough kids causing ruckus, and came back to get it back. The security guys told me that they had locked up for the night and couldn’t get it back, and to email customer services. So I say okay.

Probably 30 minutes after I got out, an email was sent and I just waited. Two days passed without a response, and I was going to be off the grid for two days for a hike, so I decided to call them to see what was going on. I was told that they where going to look into it, and that maybe they shouldn’t of given me the option to get it back at the end of the day…

Today I received an email that it was disposed of. I’m really annoyed by this. I feel a big cheater by this? They told me one thing and then did the other. I spent hours and hours and hours on it, just to see it thrown away. The hands. The mask. The face paint. I know it seems minor, especially compared to things you guys talk about in one paragraph, but this just really annoys me. I put my soul into that thing. I know I’m probably overreacting , but it’s a weird kind of self esteem blow, which is odd as I really should be thinking it’s nothing personal, but at the same time I want to make something for people to see. Ultimately, apparently it has been told to security, so hopefully this shouldn’t happen again, and I can’t really hold Thorpe against this, as it is a company and not a person

Just… GAH!
 
The_bup said:
I know you guys actually have real problems here, so this might seem like minor inconvenience in comparison, but it’s still been eating away at me a bit
(Get ready to roll your eyes at hearing it again Thorpe park Thread regulars)

So I had this mask I made for Halloween right, and I made the (idiotic and in heindsight, naïve) decision to bring it to fight nights. I had some freinds coming as well, so I could show them too, as well as a weird nagging feeling that I other people could see it too. This is of course in true self conscious approval-seeking teenage mindset.

I had everything ready, I had the hands, the mask and even the face paint to black out the eyes when I wanted to put it on.

I arrived, and at security they said “hey, you can’t have this, people might think you are an actor, or more pressingly, you might be trying to cause trouble and get away with it”. Fair enough. Even if I had no malicious intentions, they don’t know that, so fair play. They had a good reason. They gave me two options: give the mask to them, and retrieve it at the end of the day, or make the people who dropped me off make a U-turn and pick the mask up again.

Hmmm… so I could inconvenience the people kind enough to drop me off, or I could just get it back at the end of the day! No brainier!

I proceed to have a very good day, despite the amount of rough kids causing ruckus, and came back to get it back. The security guys told me that they had locked up for the night and couldn’t get it back, and to email customer services. So I say okay.

Probably 30 minutes after I got out, an email was sent and I just waited. Two days passed without a response, and I was going to be off the grid for two days for a hike, so I decided to call them to see what was going on. I was told that they where going to look into it, and that maybe they shouldn’t of given me the option to get it back at the end of the day…

Today I received an email that it was disposed of. I’m really annoyed by this. I feel a big cheater by this? They told me one thing and then did the other. I spent hours and hours and hours on it, just to see it thrown away. The hands. The mask. The face paint. I know it seems minor, especially compared to things you guys talk about in one paragraph, but this just really annoys me. I put my soul into that thing. I know I’m probably overreacting , but it’s a weird kind of self esteem blow, which is odd as I really should be thinking it’s nothing personal, but at the same time I want to make something for people to see. Ultimately, apparently it has been told to security, so hopefully this shouldn’t happen again, and I can’t really hold Thorpe against this, as it is a company and not a person

Just… GAH!
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That is a shame. You clearly put a lot of work into that mask. They should have given it back.
 
The_bup said:
I know you guys actually have real problems here, so this might seem like minor inconvenience in comparison, but it’s still been eating away at me a bit
(Get ready to roll your eyes at hearing it again Thorpe park Thread regulars)

So I had this mask I made for Halloween right, and I made the (idiotic and in heindsight, naïve) decision to bring it to fight nights. I had some freinds coming as well, so I could show them too, as well as a weird nagging feeling that I other people could see it too. This is of course in true self conscious approval-seeking teenage mindset.

I had everything ready, I had the hands, the mask and even the face paint to black out the eyes when I wanted to put it on.

I arrived, and at security they said “hey, you can’t have this, people might think you are an actor, or more pressingly, you might be trying to cause trouble and get away with it”. Fair enough. Even if I had no malicious intentions, they don’t know that, so fair play. They had a good reason. They gave me two options: give the mask to them, and retrieve it at the end of the day, or make the people who dropped me off make a U-turn and pick the mask up again.

Hmmm… so I could inconvenience the people kind enough to drop me off, or I could just get it back at the end of the day! No brainier!

I proceed to have a very good day, despite the amount of rough kids causing ruckus, and came back to get it back. The security guys told me that they had locked up for the night and couldn’t get it back, and to email customer services. So I say okay.

Probably 30 minutes after I got out, an email was sent and I just waited. Two days passed without a response, and I was going to be off the grid for two days for a hike, so I decided to call them to see what was going on. I was told that they where going to look into it, and that maybe they shouldn’t of given me the option to get it back at the end of the day…

Today I received an email that it was disposed of. I’m really annoyed by this. I feel a big cheater by this? They told me one thing and then did the other. I spent hours and hours and hours on it, just to see it thrown away. The hands. The mask. The face paint. I know it seems minor, especially compared to things you guys talk about in one paragraph, but this just really annoys me. I put my soul into that thing. I know I’m probably overreacting , but it’s a weird kind of self esteem blow, which is odd as I really should be thinking it’s nothing personal, but at the same time I want to make something for people to see. Ultimately, apparently it has been told to security, so hopefully this shouldn’t happen again, and I can’t really hold Thorpe against this, as it is a company and not a person

Just… GAH!
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Quite simply, this sucks and I'm sorry that the loss of your mask stings. You clearly put a lot of effort and passion into creating something which would give you and others joy, without bad intentions. A genuine mistake was made, probably because you were getting carried away in the detail of your costume, and you didn't realise that it might be confiscated. Security shouldn't have made promises that they couldn't and wouldn't keep, your trust was broken and at a place you care deeply for. Feeling upset, down or annoyed isn't minor, it's genuine emotion and something that you clearly need to express in a safe space such as this. You're also not overreacting. You're frustrated and annoyed, and you're perfectly entitled to feel all of these things.

I know that I've reiterated on other threads the expectations that come with entering a park in costume, but I should have empathised with you about the really awful situation you've been put in and the loss you've incurred.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I've made you feel worse in any way at all, for backing the very strict line that parks take around security and playing devil's advocate / voice of reason (this was not my intention). I'm sorry that you've been misled by people you trusted. I'm sorry that you have had a loss and that it stings.

I hope that you can find some good to come out of this somewhere and that things start to feel a little better soon.
 
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