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The I Feel Down Topic.

Buy some black duct tape and tape it back on :D

I hate it when that happens. I had it a could of times.

I did once have a note on a car i owned when hit, telling me to contact a garage and quote my reg number for a free repair. Turns out the bloke that clipped my car owned the garage. he even had his lad valet inside and out as a sorry for the trouble.
 
Thanks guys, it is just so hard having nothing to be able to say to make someone feel better straight away when you can see the pain they are in. Time is the best healer and all that.
 
A few days ago, I posted in the 'I feel happy' topic that I got a new job.

I've just reached the terrifying realisation that it could well be a scam.

First, some background. I did an IT degree in university, and after leaving my old job I thought it might be worth chasing a career in IT again. I applied for a few jobs online on different sites, and one of them got back to me and got me in for an interview. I got to their office, which was in a skyscraper in Moorgate, and was totally taken in by everything. It all seemed really professional. The interview seemed to go really well, and they offered me a job! At this point I was extatic. I was offered £21,000 a year, so I was feeling on top of the world. It's at this point they mention that I need to do some Microsoft training before I start. Fair enough, I thought. They mentioned that it was £250, and would be refunded once its completed within a month. Really, that should have sent alarm bells ringing, but the way it was put across made me think it was legit.

And it kinda is. Sure enough, they sent me all the Microsoft e-learning courses and I've spent the whole weekend revising so I can get started in the job ASAP. I decided to try and find some help online, so put some of the course details into Google. And that's where I saw it.

It was just a thread on a computing forum, mentioning they had got the exact same job offer as me and were doing the same course. But the rest of the topic were people saying it was a scam. Further searching on Google bought even more bad information to light, with the only positive things about the company quite clearly coming from employees attempting damage control. Then I check their web page again, and feel like a complete idiot:

http://www.dynamicsitsolutions.com/Home.aspx

When I first looked at it I thought it was legit, but further reading just proves this couldn't be a real IT company. They claim to sell services, and mention ringing up, but there's no number! The only number mentioned is one for a recruitment hotline.

I've never felt so stupid in my life. I was taken in by everything, and all it was was just a sales pitch for a Microsoft course. They promised me a job, but it just seems obvious now that I don't have one! What's worse is that I'm all by myself here. I've had a really hard week, and have nobody to talk to! I'd give anything for any kind of human comfort right now.
 
Bad luck! thats not good. Have you paid on a credit card? There might be a chance that you could claim the money back.

Also stick your head in chat, no one is talking right now but I am about if you want to chat.
 
Ashlee, I'd look into this further if I were you.

They are using MS, Cisco etc logos on their website. If they are unethical, there most certainly will be someone interested in finding out!

There are a couple of numbers on that website, also you can do a Companies House search, to get their central office details - do a bit of detective work and you could find a direct line to their head office to chase up what is going on. Although, their head office if you search their address and name, seems to throw up a few other companies too - this one in particular WAS linked to that address http://www.keybridgeit.com/contact.php

With this forum stating details of people having dealings at the same address Dynamics mentions here >> http://forums.aria.co.uk/archive/index.php/t-97165.html <<

Anyway - hope this doesn't rule break the forum - exceptional circumstances there!

All the best!
 
Just found this might be worth a look

http://www.which.co.uk/consumer-rights/ ... e-scammed/

but there is a bit that is worth noting.

Getting your money back
You can't always get your money back if you've been scammed, especially if you've handed over cash or you’ve paid via a wire service. Western Union, MoneyGram and PayPoint all provide advice on how to avoid fraud and scams, so it’s a good idea to read their advice.

If you've paid by credit card for goods or services you have more protection and if you used a debit card you may be able to ask your bank for a chargeback.

So if you paid by debit or credit card you might be able to get the money back. Might just need to push the banks a bit to do some work for you.
 
I almost lost my friend the other day, and she's the only person I have at school right now and has helped me so much. :'(
 
I rang Dynamics IT today and questioned them about all the negative posts about them online. They defended themselves by saying it was a rival company with an agenda that they have just taken to court. They also want to meet with me to discuss my issues with them. I have no idea what to believe anymore, this worrying is making me sick. I was like this with my job that I quit last week, now I feel just as bad.
 
Ashlee, if I were you, I'd not take this job. If it's causing you stress, worry and hassle, then it's not worth putting yourself through this. Plus, seeing as the company seems to be a bit dubious as to whether it's real or a scam, I'd say it's best to decline the offer.
 
AshleeKel said:
I rang Dynamics IT today and questioned them about all the negative posts about them online. They defended themselves by saying it was a rival company with an agenda that they have just taken to court. They also want to meet with me to discuss my issues with them.
Click to expand...

This sounds quite positive! I mentioned in the previous post, that address seems to be ubiquitous amongst a few companies, you may be on to something here! :)

Keep them on their toes, you never know, if this company is legit and you can make connections into it, they may appreciate your tenacity... who knows what opportunities may spring from it! And if they're NOT legitimate, just keep exhaustive records/audit trails of whom you spoke to and when, their names, positions etc - and keep it to be a pain in their ass and at least get your cash back.

Things seem difficult for you right now, remember, sometimes opportunities come seemingly from no where, just make sure you're always open to them...

A friend of mine, gave me this wonderful phrase I keep close to me when things are hard.

It is always darkest, just before dawn.

I wish the best, as always x
 
Jonathan said:
Ashlee, if I were you, I'd not take this job. If it's causing you stress, worry and hassle, then it's not worth putting yourself through this. Plus, seeing as the company seems to be a bit dubious as to whether it's real or a scam, I'd say it's best to decline the offer.
Click to expand...

I get what you are saying, and you are right. But they have my money :/
 
My boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago. He sent me a text in the afternoon saying he needed to meet up with me straight away, and he was already walking. He walked half hour from his, I walked 20 minutes from mine, and we met in the street. He told me it wasn't working and he was breaking up with me. I said “okay”. He asked me if there's anything else I wanted to say and I said “no”, then we hugged and walked away. The whole thing was over in less than a minute.

I think I was kind of in shock for the first few hours. I walked around the streets thinking “why don't I feel sad about this?” I listened to Someone Like You but that didn't make me feel anything. I went out for dinner with my parents and just chatted about the new house. I sent my friend an irreverent text, joking that this was the perfect time to listen to a really sad breakup album we both like (Nick Cave's The Boatman's Call). She just texted back one of the track titles People Just Ain't No Good, which is the first time I cried. It just kind of struck me a bit.

I went to the céilidh that night because my ex said I should, and it'd be nice to see me. He plays in the céilidh band. I thought it'd be OK, but the minute I saw him, I started to fill up with tears. For the first half, I just sat at the edge of the room and sobbed. I didn't expect that reaction in myself at all. I underestimated my own capacity for sadness over concrete affairs. I danced with a few of my friends later, but as soon as my ex came over to say hello, I ended up crying all over him. And then leaving, and wandering the city for hours, until 4am.

I don't think there's a big reason for the split. I guess he just stopped liking me. Did I hold you too tight? Did I not let enough light in? I'm not a very likeable person at all. But it's made me deeply, deeply sad. Not in my normal boastful, extroverted way. In a humbled, introverted curl-up-in-a-ball-and-cry way. I don't really want to talk about it but I guess I can write about it. I tried to talk to people about it the other night, but I just ended up crying on them, which isn't conducive to people wanting to spend time with you in future. They were trying to have a house party, and trying to play Singstar. They ended up with a sobbing gay in their kitchen.

Since then I've sort of lived in a bit of a daze. It was about three weeks ago, and I still feel as bad about it now as the first day. When I'm alone, I still angrily lash out on pillows, or make a little fort under my duvet and hide where nobody can see me. I'm a warrior in my castle, but it's pitch black. I'm not enjoying things I usually would. I'm not enjoying anything. You know that feeling when you walk up stairs and think there's one more step than there is, and it's like your heart becomes really light for a split second? I've felt that physical sensation most of the time for the past three weeks. It really hurts. I just feel like I'm floating around in my mind, numb. I think “this is interesting. It's a new kind of sadness. It makes a change to the sadness I usually feel all the time.” But I think it's worse. Or at least just adding to the sadness I feel all the time, cumulatively. It's still there underneath, but it's been outgunned.

I've seen him a few times since then. The first time, in a bar, I just ended up having a deeply emotional conversation with him for hours, us both foreheads together, welling up at various points. The second time I was very drunk, and I don't remember much of it. I don't think it went very well. He came round for dinner earlier. I think that was nice. I made a really nice meal for him, and we talked about other stuff for as long as possible, but it still ended up with hugging on the sofa.

I'm trying to work out why I feel disproportionately sad about the break-up of a eight month relationship but it's because it's a 'top-up' on how I feel normally. If you add it on top of how sad I feel all the time anyway, even when things are going well, it feels like no-one must surely have ever felt sadness and pain like this. But that's silly. I think to myself “Sam, stop it. You're overreacting. Some people have parents or children who are dead. They can cope with it and get through it, so why are you just sobbing and not eating over this?” But that doesn't help, it just makes me sadder because I imagine how bad it would feel to have a dead parent or child.

But I really liked him. I like the way he wrinkles up his nose when he laughs. I like watching him play music, even if it isn't the sort of music I like. I like it when he tells me about a science thing I don't understand, then realises ten minutes in that he's lost me. I think I'm going to miss him terribly.

Little things I should have said or done, I never took the time. You were always on my mind.
 
Crikey dude, sounds like that has hit you pretty hard!

Thing to remember is that you go through a grieving process at the end of a relationship. These are all natural feelings, and certainly try and avoid judging yourself for feeling them mate.

There's so much advice online about how to cope, what are natural feelings, how to act for your own best good etc, that it would be remiss and irresponsible of me to try and choose something most appropriate to you.

I've been there, as I reckon pretty much everyone here has, so understand what you're feeling.

I just hope you feel better soon, and meet the person that you're meant to spend your life with :)
 
Dude, there's not much advice I can offer, due to me being a romantic misfit and just a general relationship retard, but you are an amazingly talented writer, honestly that was like a page from a best seller rather than a post in this small corner of the internet.

Sorry about poor spelling and.grammar, I'm on my phone
 
TheMan said:
Crikey dude, sounds like that has hit you pretty hard!

Thing to remember is that you go through a grieving process at the end of a relationship. These are all natural feelings, and certainly try and avoid judging yourself for feeling them mate.

There's so much advice online about how to cope, what are natural feelings, how to act for your own best good etc, that it would be remiss and irresponsible of me to try and choose something most appropriate to you.

I've been there, as I reckon pretty much everyone here has, so understand what you're feeling.

I just hope you feel better soon, and meet the person that you're meant to spend your life with :)
Click to expand...

Thanks.

That was my fifth relationship, so I'm used to breaking up with people. Nobody's ever broken up with me before though.

This is just... I don't need this. I'm weary, and I'm tired.

This is just adding to the unhappiness that I feel all the time anyway, everyday. I did before this, and I still will when I'm over it. This is a temporary blip, but the core sadness is there forever.

Literally every day is torturous. 'The sadness will last forever'.
 
I know we disagree a bit on life, but to me it just seems you're stuck in a bit of a cycle.

I know it can seem difficult in times of feeling really down, but there are things you can do to help you feel a bit better, and take a step at a time to being happier in your life.

That is something I believe everyone deserves, and has a right to.

I've said this before, but imagine the advice you'd give to your closest friend, why would we not take that advice ourselves? We treat ourselves worse than we treat many others much of the time.

It's another of the old NeuroLinguistic Progamming cliche's really - but that makes them no less relevant or helpful.

Focus on the parts of your personality and being that you like, who do you want to be, what steps can you take to begin to tread that path. All walks start with only one step. You seem quite hard on yourself, it's hard for anyone else to like us, when we don't like ourselves.

You're clearly a very intelligent lad, and highly knowledgeable in your interests - and very certain in some of your beliefs, a positive selection of those I found today I agree with.

When we're at our best, our lives, and those around us change for the better - it's just a new cycle that begins with a few simple steps.

I can only give my perspectives and opinions of course!
 
Sam
First off, this feeling overreacting stuff. its only been what 3/4 weeks. Its been almost 4 year and my mother in law still busts out crying when my dead step daughters name is mentioned. so 4 weeks is nothing. dont worry about "i should be over it by now", you will get over it when you get over it.

You have losted someone close and dear to you, and what you feel is normal. Yes its crap feeling, and there is no easy fix, put you will get there. trust me i had my heart broken by lovers.

give yourself the time and thinking space to get to a point where you can move on. and I hope you are eating, even if you don't feel like it. the set meal time system works.

Sorry if i come across a bit blunt. Advice about the heart is not my strong point :)

<edited to make sense>
 
I'm feeling, generally unhappy at the moment.

No real reason why - but it sort of feels like I need a change. I don't know WHAT needs to change, location, friends, job (well, that has to change because without that, I can't move out of my family home), or something else.

But *something* needs to change - I feel like I'm just existing at the minute, even though I've just started a good course at a local college and a great voluntary placement.

Maybe a day in the countryside will make me feel better? Or something along the lines of getting away from this city for a day.

I dunno - I need to cheer up! :)
 
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