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The I Feel Down Topic.

Sam said:
Jem8472 said:
I saw this on the net and it really points out how lucky we are, even though we all have our own problems which this thread is good for helping each other through we have to remember we are still very lucky!

the-rain.png
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Sorry, that graphic pisses me right off. Very very few of us have ever experienced living in a third world country. Therefore, it's absurd to try and view our problems relative to that way of life, just as it's absurd to say "well don't worry about your depression, at least you're not a microbe floating through space!" There's no frame of reference.

It doesn't tell us anything, it's just insulting simplistic.
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But it points out how lucky you and I are just because we were born here. Its not saying your problems are unimportant.

I just use it as a reminder not to get to wrapped up in myself. There are bigger problems out there and the things that will have most effect on your life you dont worry about and/or can't control.

This has the same effect on me, we are tiny and the universe is so big. Just helps with my perspective on life.
[youtube]http://youtu.be/17jymDn0W6U[/youtube]
 
I have been pondering to post or not to post in here about my feeling down. But its been a bad day.

IF YOU GET DISTRESSED EASILY DONT READ

I have not talked about this on the internet before, it usually kept behind closed doors as i fear i will be blamed for it.

I had to go to a mental health appointment, not for me (as it usually is) but for my step son. he has over the years become erratic, unpredictable and dangerous.

He has a string of offences to his name some include procession a blade weapon, battery (his mum), affray (stabbing a knife into a door someone is holding closed), arson (trying to set fire to his bedroom).

He attacks me, and fails. as i been trained in home office approved defends tactic for lone workers. He has even tried it with weaponry.

He attacks my daughter. she is mentally disabled, so i have to be around all the time to defend her.
When an injury was reported, social services where interested until they read though our file of his criminal convictions then we never saw them again.

He speaks to me like I'm a piece of something found in a loo. and i do wonder if he has forgot my really name, as he never uses it, just using a swear word (or rude name for female private bits) in it place.

he was like this before the death of a close family member and carried on the same way after.

Tonight, he kicks off again. (I cant believe i am going to use the next line) lucky he on bail so there is no defending myself tonight. Just 3 hours of trying to goad me into attacking him, as he "want to smash my BLEEP face in"

Boy is it tiring, oh so tiring, defending against his attempts to coerce me into making the first move. almost every night.

I don't know, maybe it is all my fault.
 
Sounds like a very serious situation Delta.

My first thought would be to the safety of you, your daughter and you partner/wife.

You dont mention how old your step son is but I guess he is younger than 18 as I would be inclined to say kick him out. But that is easier said than done. I do feel from what you have written he needs to be removed from your home.

I would not say its you fault. I am sure you have tried lots of things to change his behaviour and to try and improve his life.

This cannot be your fault unless you have been an abusive person towards him to cause him to act like this. If he has become like this because he wants to be like this then you cannot blame yourself.

I know stressful situations get you down and often it can feel like you are at fault (had my fill of that since the start of the year) but try not to blame yourself.
 
Jem8472 said:
But it points out how lucky you and I are just because we were born here. Its not saying your problems are unimportant.
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I've felt deeply depressed, often suicidal, almost every day of my life. I do not feel "lucky".
 
Jem8472. I am far from abusive, it not in my nature. Its only just in my nature to defend myself and my daughter from him.

I am getting to the point where i cant be bothered defending myself.
 
Well it sounds like you need some help from someone, I dont know if social services or any charities could help you out.

But I would keep defending yourself and your daughter from him. Sounds like you need to get rid of him as quick as possible for the health and well being of you and the rest of your family.
 
Very sorry for your loss pluk, and I hope the monster that took his life away is put straight behind bars as soon as possible!
 
Delta: Do not take on your step son's behaviour as being your fault and do not take the blame. You have been defending your family well and you haven't stooped to encourage your step son in the attacks, assault and battery. As Jem says, you need to get another side in to help like social services and you shouldn't stop defending yourself. If you do then you're letting the step son win and it would encourage him to continue even further, possibly into disastrous areas.
My thoughts are with the safety of you and your family with this nasty situation and, again, don't take the blame. It's wholly unwarranted.

Pluk: Oh goodness, this is horrid. I hope this man is caught before any other attack happens and I hope your colleague rests in peace, such a shame.

Wishing I could hug so many of you people right now but cyber hugs will have to do, *passes hugs*.
 
pluk, my thought go out to your colleagues family, friends and all of your constabulary that knew him.
It is so sad when i a life is taken in such a way.
 
thanks Jem8472 and Rowe, thank you, it may not be physically help, but i has turned the volume done on the thought that says "it all down to you" ( you got to love paranoia, hehe)

I am going to find the phone number for my doctor, as I wonder if the black dog is sniffing around causing me to feel like just give up defending myself anymore.
 
All I ever do is lie and hurt people who have loved and supported me the most. I realize it's their social duty to love me, but they shouldn't as I'm despicable and selfish. I wish I was someone else. Someone who deserved their unconditional support.
 
Other than crippling social anxiety and having the self confidence of a dwarf browsing a High & Mighty catalogue, life is grand.
 
I've had a bit of a challenging evening, if I'm honest. My dad managed to persuade me to go to an event in St Austell this evening which was put on by two people who lived and worked in Palestine for three months. It was very interesting and thought-provoking to hear about the reality of the situation there between Israel and the Palestinian Territories, and it's shaken me up a little bit. Some of the stuff that's happening there is really shocking. As we were walking back to the car, I was saying to my dad that the modules I've chosen for my second year of my Law degree (Human Dignity & Human Rights and Public International Law) seem to be very relevant to what was being talked about. I want to do something to help the people of Palestine, but I'm not entirely sure as to where I can begin. :/
 
Not entirely sure where to put this, but here goes...

Because of my dad's job, we have to move around the country every few years, which is fine. So far, I've lived in Gloucestershire for six years and Cornwall for 13. Next summer, we will be moving to another location in the country after having lived here for eight years (nine next summer), and in all honesty, it's not come as too much of a surprise - this could be as I'm at uni for most of the year. This is the longest I've lived anywhere, and I've made some really good connections with people down here in Cornwall. It's going to be very tough to say goodbye to them all, and to the place where I've spent most of my time growing up. I have, at this stage, no idea whatsoever where we're going to be moving to, as the list of appointments available won't be released for a few more months.

I love Cornwall, I really do. But I'm going to miss it a lot. On the bright side, I'm hoping that we move to somewhere that has better transport links so that it's a lot easier for me to meet up with you lovely people, as that's the one main disadvantage of living in Cornwall - it's a pain in the backside to get to.
 
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