queenofspeed
TS Member
My dog got put down yesterday. She was very old and poorly.
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This is a popular topic that is fast moving Guest - before posting, please ensure that you check out the first post in the topic for a quick reminder of guidelines, and importantly a summary of the known facts and information so far. Thanks. - Thread starter Adam
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The I Feel Down Topic.
Adam
TS Member
You could say this is somewhat trivial, but it's really been messing with my head recently. So on the basis that "a problem shared is a problem halved", I'm posting it on here.
Basically, there's a girl I know, who I have such intense feelings for. She is such an amazing person, the only time in my life when I've looked at someone and just felt that she is perfect for me. I'd known her from college since September, but since talking to her a bit more recently I've suddenly developed massive feelings for her. Just, everything about her is amazing imo.
Now, usually I'd have "made a move", but this is what's really making me down, She's already in a relationship. Obviously this means my chances are pretty much non existent right now, but I just can't stop thinking about her. Not in some creepy, stalkerish way, just pure subconscious love and passion. I don't mean to think about her, I'm just so much in love I find it stupidly hard not to.
I don't know what to say to myself really.
Basically, there's a girl I know, who I have such intense feelings for. She is such an amazing person, the only time in my life when I've looked at someone and just felt that she is perfect for me. I'd known her from college since September, but since talking to her a bit more recently I've suddenly developed massive feelings for her. Just, everything about her is amazing imo.
Now, usually I'd have "made a move", but this is what's really making me down, She's already in a relationship. Obviously this means my chances are pretty much non existent right now, but I just can't stop thinking about her. Not in some creepy, stalkerish way, just pure subconscious love and passion. I don't mean to think about her, I'm just so much in love I find it stupidly hard not to.
I don't know what to say to myself really.
TheMan
TS Member
queenofspeed said:
That is very sad, my condolences to you, animals are family, not long been through this one, can't say much more than that really.
Adam said:You could say this is somewhat trivial, but it's really been messing with my head recently. So on the basis that "a problem shared is a problem halved", I'm posting it on here.
Basically, there's a girl I know, who I have such intense feelings for. She is such an amazing person, the only time in my life when I've looked at someone and just felt that she is perfect for me. I'd known her from college since September, but since talking to her a bit more recently I've suddenly developed massive feelings for her. Just, everything about her is amazing imo.
Now, usually I'd have "made a move", but this is what's really making me down, She's already in a relationship. Obviously this means my chances are pretty much non existent right now, but I just can't stop thinking about her. Not in some creepy, stalkerish way, just pure subconscious love and passion. I don't mean to think about her, I'm just so much in love I find it stupidly hard not to.
I don't know what to say to myself really.
Adam my friend, feelings don't care about logic or reason, or how we or the other person actually feel. They can happen in the strangest and most bizarre of circumstances. Obviously the situation is a bit confusing, when is real love ever simple? Answer is of course, that is seldom is. I'm not saying this is the real thing for you, it may pass, it may not. All I can proffer though, is there is not point fighting a feeling like this or tearing yourself a new one about it.
Don't give yourself a load about how often, or how you think about her, that wont help, you seem a good guy to me Adam, and you clearly want to do the "right thing".
Thing is, the "right thing" isn't always that clear either. How do you know she is happy? How do you know you two would be happy? How do you know this is not a passing lustful moment? The list of questions and possibilities are almost torture to our mind when deep emotions are in play.
The thing is, I have said this before, each situation and relationship is different, and no one "right/wrong" resolution fits all. So be aware, it is natural to feel confused, natural to feel your head is being messed with by these feelings, and natural to not know what the heck you can do!! The thing is, once you accept these things are simply our bodies/minds natural reactions to these circumstances and ease that pressure a bit - you may find solutions, or at least more clarity/acceptance of the situation.
From that place, is where great decisions are made.
I hope that helps a little
(as per usual, feel free to ignore all my advice, and remember, share prices can go down in value, as well as up
)
TheMan
TS Member
OK This is a reply to Adam really, but reading a lot on here about young relationships, I have decided to post it publicly - which I hope I do not regret - in the hope it makes even one person feel a bit better about .
My experience of college love: TheMAN style
"Here is a bit of a story from when I was about your age (I think) mate. I'll keep it short (for the time it spans! Though you'll get the idea.
I liked this girl, for years, I was the greasy haired guitar playing rocker in a school mainly full of first generation chavs. I didn't exactly fit in over all, though as I got a bit older, I started to become more popular with people outside of my peer group, as I gave it major rock star on stage ha-ha!
So, end of year 11, exams being done - my best mate, and co-musician comes to me and says "Dude, I fancy your missus, mind if I ask her out". He called her that, because he knew how long I'd liked her for. He is my best mate, I said "dude I have no chance, go for it, I'd rather it was you than some idiot" basically. So he did, and they started dating.
Ouch.
Revision was done with my mate now, at her house... So, I was spending a lot of time with her and my buddy. They went out for a couple of months, he realised that whilst being an absolute stunner, she wasn't and out there kinda gal, so they stopped seeing each other. Exams are done (cannot quite remember the timing), and I am in the rehearsal blocks with my band as usual, smashing out some solos when there is a knock on the rehearsal room door, and in walks this girls best mate... unusual, we weren't really friends as such.
So my mate who dated her (drumming) stops, she walks in and asks for a quiet word in my ear. My buddy says go for it, I wander off and have a chat - and I get told, the girl likes me and would love to meet with me. Remember I have liked her for years, standing no chance, then my mate dates her which results in us chatting more and getting to know each other, in a no pressure situation as I'd given up and was honestly happy she was with my mate if anyone. My feelings haven't changed but the pressure of talking and how to get to know each other had.
So yeah, I went back into the studio, told my mate and he said - GO DO THE BUSINESS!! So off I went, round to her house, and asked her out - she said yes. I then spent the next 12 months, year 12, bouncing around with happiness - with her anyway. However, other things were going on. I made some ridiculous mistakes, started getting a bit heavy with the drinking with my mates, was struggling hard with other things and ended up hurting this girl. Foolish.
End of year 12, we finished, well, she finished it - I was mortified. Same mate was there for me, I didn't eat hardly a thing for weeks, and sank into a very deep depression culminating in me nearly giving myself alcohol poisoning. Few weeks later, another pal of mine, the school "jock" if you like, who I'd befriended now in college was in some similar classes. He split up with his very long term g/f that had been one of the main school romances (same school/6thform) - so in the break between 1st and 2nd year 6thform, I started taking this guy out to play snooker etc, cheer him up basically even though I was feeling shocking. Turns out during that time, he started dating my ex. Some mate eh? Anyway, I found out and fronted him out, he was about 10 times the size of me, and threw me across the school canteen (back in term now), so I walked up to him told him he'd need to do better than that, ended up creating this crazy division between some of the colleges geezers (one who has gone into body building competitions... ) so it was getting heavy. Very heavy.
Not only this, my EX MATE (Jock) also then changed all his lessons, bar one, to the same courses that me and my ex g/f were doing! (Similar interests so chose the same courses for A's bar one, Performance Arts). So now, every day, I had to encounter them both together. I went totally off the rails, got suspended from college, only finished one A level in the end (performance) and screwed the others up for which the college had tipped me for Oxford (even visited) only a matter of months earlier.
This is a sobering tale, but one I ballsed up myself. She was not at fault, I was. In fact, she put up with me being a bit of an idiot, going through some hard things mind you, I was never violent or aggressive or anything like that don't get me wrong, but I didn't treat her how she deserved, as a result I got what I did.
Early life romance is full of hormones, confusion, complex relationships, strange feelings to come to terms with, and experiences and lessons to be gained. Don't get too caught up in it. I got my dream girl at that time, and it was the worst thing that happened to me. You seem a bit more sensible than I was back then ha-ha, I'm not saying you will have this or that happen. What I am saying, is keep perspective, stay grounded, be quietly confident in who you are but never arrogant, keep that feeling of bliss that you would have if you were together, and never give up.
Then if you manage it, the emotions you feel can be overpowering, and overwhelming - like, everything you imagine and more and WORSE! You think it is hard being away, or being near but as a friend, wait till you experience being WITH that person and not able to be with them for a night or something, don't think it is pleasant, it is horrible! Though if you can at then realise that feeling is for a good reason, you can turn it into a positive.
I had no chance, with one of the prettiest girls in our school, and for me, the only one. A greasy curtain haired, guitar playing, messed up rocker. My (good) mate who she dated first, was training to become an Olympic swimmer, and was very close to achieving it - you wouldn't believe the stir it caused when we got together. Even the strangest and most unlikely of romances happen.
Romance, love and lust work in strange and mysterious ways. Be at ease knowing, what you are going through is frequent, normal, and everyone feels the same when they experience it.
And lastly for this message, I hope you realise I really do understand what it is like lol!
My point here to everyone is, at this age, crazy things happen, romances, feelings everything - and at the time it can feel hopeless, and very lonely especially, frustrating and goodness knows what else. It can also feel like no one else has experienced it like you have, or perhaps that no one else understands how horrible it is.
They do though, and it is normal, and it isn't like this forever. Different challenges arise, based on different life circumstances and emotions. I have no idea if my story will help anyone or not, even in gaining just a little perspective, I am however a bit uneasy about posting something so personal to me, so please I just ask you take it for what it is - a shared experience, that I hope may help someone.
One of my most fondly remembered, and hideously hurtful times of my life."
My experience of college love: TheMAN style
"Here is a bit of a story from when I was about your age (I think) mate. I'll keep it short (for the time it spans! Though you'll get the idea.
I liked this girl, for years, I was the greasy haired guitar playing rocker in a school mainly full of first generation chavs. I didn't exactly fit in over all, though as I got a bit older, I started to become more popular with people outside of my peer group, as I gave it major rock star on stage ha-ha!
So, end of year 11, exams being done - my best mate, and co-musician comes to me and says "Dude, I fancy your missus, mind if I ask her out". He called her that, because he knew how long I'd liked her for. He is my best mate, I said "dude I have no chance, go for it, I'd rather it was you than some idiot" basically. So he did, and they started dating.
Ouch.
Revision was done with my mate now, at her house... So, I was spending a lot of time with her and my buddy. They went out for a couple of months, he realised that whilst being an absolute stunner, she wasn't and out there kinda gal, so they stopped seeing each other. Exams are done (cannot quite remember the timing), and I am in the rehearsal blocks with my band as usual, smashing out some solos when there is a knock on the rehearsal room door, and in walks this girls best mate... unusual, we weren't really friends as such.
So my mate who dated her (drumming) stops, she walks in and asks for a quiet word in my ear. My buddy says go for it, I wander off and have a chat - and I get told, the girl likes me and would love to meet with me. Remember I have liked her for years, standing no chance, then my mate dates her which results in us chatting more and getting to know each other, in a no pressure situation as I'd given up and was honestly happy she was with my mate if anyone. My feelings haven't changed but the pressure of talking and how to get to know each other had.
So yeah, I went back into the studio, told my mate and he said - GO DO THE BUSINESS!! So off I went, round to her house, and asked her out - she said yes. I then spent the next 12 months, year 12, bouncing around with happiness - with her anyway. However, other things were going on. I made some ridiculous mistakes, started getting a bit heavy with the drinking with my mates, was struggling hard with other things and ended up hurting this girl. Foolish.
End of year 12, we finished, well, she finished it - I was mortified. Same mate was there for me, I didn't eat hardly a thing for weeks, and sank into a very deep depression culminating in me nearly giving myself alcohol poisoning. Few weeks later, another pal of mine, the school "jock" if you like, who I'd befriended now in college was in some similar classes. He split up with his very long term g/f that had been one of the main school romances (same school/6thform) - so in the break between 1st and 2nd year 6thform, I started taking this guy out to play snooker etc, cheer him up basically even though I was feeling shocking. Turns out during that time, he started dating my ex. Some mate eh? Anyway, I found out and fronted him out, he was about 10 times the size of me, and threw me across the school canteen (back in term now), so I walked up to him told him he'd need to do better than that, ended up creating this crazy division between some of the colleges geezers (one who has gone into body building competitions... ) so it was getting heavy. Very heavy.
Not only this, my EX MATE (Jock) also then changed all his lessons, bar one, to the same courses that me and my ex g/f were doing! (Similar interests so chose the same courses for A's bar one, Performance Arts). So now, every day, I had to encounter them both together. I went totally off the rails, got suspended from college, only finished one A level in the end (performance) and screwed the others up for which the college had tipped me for Oxford (even visited) only a matter of months earlier.
This is a sobering tale, but one I ballsed up myself. She was not at fault, I was. In fact, she put up with me being a bit of an idiot, going through some hard things mind you, I was never violent or aggressive or anything like that don't get me wrong, but I didn't treat her how she deserved, as a result I got what I did.
Early life romance is full of hormones, confusion, complex relationships, strange feelings to come to terms with, and experiences and lessons to be gained. Don't get too caught up in it. I got my dream girl at that time, and it was the worst thing that happened to me. You seem a bit more sensible than I was back then ha-ha, I'm not saying you will have this or that happen. What I am saying, is keep perspective, stay grounded, be quietly confident in who you are but never arrogant, keep that feeling of bliss that you would have if you were together, and never give up.
Then if you manage it, the emotions you feel can be overpowering, and overwhelming - like, everything you imagine and more and WORSE! You think it is hard being away, or being near but as a friend, wait till you experience being WITH that person and not able to be with them for a night or something, don't think it is pleasant, it is horrible! Though if you can at then realise that feeling is for a good reason, you can turn it into a positive.
I had no chance, with one of the prettiest girls in our school, and for me, the only one. A greasy curtain haired, guitar playing, messed up rocker. My (good) mate who she dated first, was training to become an Olympic swimmer, and was very close to achieving it - you wouldn't believe the stir it caused when we got together. Even the strangest and most unlikely of romances happen.
Romance, love and lust work in strange and mysterious ways. Be at ease knowing, what you are going through is frequent, normal, and everyone feels the same when they experience it.
And lastly for this message, I hope you realise I really do understand what it is like lol!
My point here to everyone is, at this age, crazy things happen, romances, feelings everything - and at the time it can feel hopeless, and very lonely especially, frustrating and goodness knows what else. It can also feel like no one else has experienced it like you have, or perhaps that no one else understands how horrible it is.
They do though, and it is normal, and it isn't like this forever. Different challenges arise, based on different life circumstances and emotions. I have no idea if my story will help anyone or not, even in gaining just a little perspective, I am however a bit uneasy about posting something so personal to me, so please I just ask you take it for what it is - a shared experience, that I hope may help someone.
One of my most fondly remembered, and hideously hurtful times of my life."
This seems relatively minor but I feel like I could do with getting it off my chest...
I seem to have a crippling tiredness at the moment - no idea how to get rid of it, but it's really getting me down - and also killing my social life (what's left of it....) with it!
The main issue is that I'm concerned the tiredness may in itself be depression - subconsciously, over the last week or so my brain's obviously thinking negatively, and I've had a couple of nightmares in my sleep which involve suicidal thoughts - not like me at all usually :/
TBH I just want out of this downward spiral
I seem to have a crippling tiredness at the moment - no idea how to get rid of it, but it's really getting me down - and also killing my social life (what's left of it....) with it!
The main issue is that I'm concerned the tiredness may in itself be depression - subconsciously, over the last week or so my brain's obviously thinking negatively, and I've had a couple of nightmares in my sleep which involve suicidal thoughts - not like me at all usually :/
TBH I just want out of this downward spiral
Mike said:This seems relatively minor but I feel like I could do with getting it off my chest...
I seem to have a crippling tiredness at the moment - no idea how to get rid of it, but it's really getting me down - and also killing my social life (what's left of it....) with it!
The main issue is that I'm concerned the tiredness may in itself be depression - subconsciously, over the last week or so my brain's obviously thinking negatively, and I've had a couple of nightmares in my sleep which involve suicidal thoughts - not like me at all usually :/
TBH I just want out of this downward spiral
It definitely sounds like your mood is low Mike, get to the doctors when you can.
Thanks guys,
Have had a quick chat with a friend of mine who is a GP - who essentially confirmed that t was depression-related tiredness (and managed to get to the bottom of why!), and also had a few words of reassurance/ideas to help the issues im facing from members on here (you know who you are, you're absolutely amazing people!), so im feeling a little bit better about life than I was a few hours ago
Not perfect, still a long way to go, but the finish line is at least existing now
Have had a quick chat with a friend of mine who is a GP - who essentially confirmed that t was depression-related tiredness (and managed to get to the bottom of why!), and also had a few words of reassurance/ideas to help the issues im facing from members on here (you know who you are, you're absolutely amazing people!), so im feeling a little bit better about life than I was a few hours ago
Not perfect, still a long way to go, but the finish line is at least existing now
DiogoJ42
TS Member
Methinks the time of year is not helping. There was an old Garfield strip years ago. I've tried to find it but can't, so please bear with me as I discribe it.
A simple three pane strip, each one was the same picture of Garfield in his bed looking miserable as always. His three thought bubbles said...
"I hate Febuary,"
"Febuary is the armpit of the year."
"And don't even talk to me about Mondays in Febuary!"
A simple three pane strip, each one was the same picture of Garfield in his bed looking miserable as always. His three thought bubbles said...
"I hate Febuary,"
"Febuary is the armpit of the year."
"And don't even talk to me about Mondays in Febuary!"
I've knackered up my future living arrangements by being too hyper, too stupid, and too much of an idiot which has greatly pissed off the people I was supposed to be moving in to a house with. I'm starting to really struggle with my annoying self now, all I seem to do is drive people away even when I'm trying my hardest to behave normally. I feel like a proper stupid idiot.