Thorpe Park - Temporary shipping container hotel to be built - The Crashpad

[Thomas]

They'd look awful anywhere, but in a place which is meant to take you to the limits of your imagination, the swathes of grey and dullness are offensive.

 

[Quetzal]

This whole thing just reeks of "Where did all the money go!?"

 

[TheMan]

They are like portable toilets

Consider this also. They say that each one of those sleeps 4 people.

Where are the facilities to support that exactly? Especially considering what may be going on in those cabins.

 

[Alastair]

Classic Merlin management conversation...

Varney: "We need a new hotel, pitch me some ideas directors."
Director 1: "Well, I've noticed the quite magnificent theming and architecture behind the Bell Rock hotel at Europa Park *flicks up image on Powerpoint*"

Director 2: "I had similar ideas to 1, Nick, however I prefer the more overt oriental theming of the Hotel Lingbao at Phantasialand *flicks to image on Powerpoint*"

Varney: "Thanks guys, I'll take your ideas into consideration, however I've had some inspiration of my own. Having recently taken a holiday to the Isle of Wight I noted something we could use along the way."

Director 1: *looks confused* "What do you mean Nick?"

*flicks to last image in Powerpoint*

 

[Ben]

Jesus. They are atrocious, No words can describe how truly awful they are. As ever, stay classy Thorpe.

 

[Scott]

They do look terrible... Wonder if there are any plans to clad them or hide them from the park a bit more? Though I guess we shouldn't be surprised. They have long-term rented a snoozebox and they have for a snoozebox. They look like the ones on the website tbh and that's what we were generally expecting.

Doesn't stop it being utterly shambolic for a THEME park though.


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[TheMan]

I tell you what though.

They'll be creepy during Fright Nights.

Reminds me of Xperiment10, well externally they are, except X10 is themed.

EDIT:

I found a picture of their breakfast offerings:

And the new sign that will adorn it:

 

[Rose Of Dawn]

Wen I first heard of people slating these 'things' I just thought it was enthusiasts complaining it wasn't up to scratch with Europa or something. But....seriously? I cannot imagine a night in one of these to be anything but unpleasant. You just know that you'll be kept up all night as groups of drunk bellends make noise until the early hours by looking at them even now. There's literally nothing redeeming about them except being right next to the front entrance. But is that even a big bonus? Who cares if it's a five or ten minute walk, or a little bus journey? If I pay money to stay somewhere overnight, I expect it to be better than this.

It's genuinely shoddy, and it'll only go downhill once 'guests' start staying there. It'll be an infamous ****hole within a year (if it's not already).

 

[TheMan]

And you thought Fanta was bad ;D

What's next, the Chessington Massage Parlour?

 

[CoasterCrazyChris]

It is hard to believe that this is something built by one of Britain's top theme parks.

Heide Park is probably the equivalent of Thorpe Park in Germany but they wouldn't dream of having something as shoddy as this, even if they are owned by Merlin.

 

[AstroDan]

I just showed my mum a photo without giving anything away, and she said it looked like a prison!!!

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[LiamC]

They haven't even had an attempt at concealing the fact that they're shipping containers. They still have the container stamps on the side for crying out loud! This is truly a new low for Thorpe and Merlin as a whole I'm afraid :'(

 

[BigAl]

Thorpe Park could have played on the fact that it looks like a refugee camp by styling them to look like they've been set up for victims of the Swarm's attacks.

Like some have already said, they could have thrown nets over them, or slapped red paint up them to look like blood. There could have been burn and scratch marks all over them, exploded shells on the top and around the bases, a few more wrecked vehicles, a mess hall style cafe and a big air raid siren (for display only, obviously). Finish it off with a Czech Hedgehog and wire perimeter and it could have been much... less depressing.

Add a Swarm themed hotel with the Swarm modifications and 2013 might not have been so hilariously pathetic. Someone, somewhere along the line, has forgotten what theme parks are all about. Such a shame.

 

[electricBlll]

Like some have already said, they could have thrown nets over them, or slapped red paint up them to look like blood. There could have been burn and scratch marks all over them, exploded shells on the top and around the bases, a few more wrecked vehicles, a mess hall style cafe and a big air raid siren (for display only, obviously). Finish it off with a Czech Hedgehog and wire perimeter and it could have been much... less depressing.

Really?! The hotel you describe sounds far more depressing to me! Grim, ugly, off-putting, humourless, etc...

Perfect for Thorpe Park! Why didn't they think of that?

 

[AstroDan]

As much as it is meant to be temporary - it's going to be there a few years!

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[josht]

I don't think I can say anything without swearing, but anything that can be lifted and moved whilst you sleep scares me a bit

 

[TheMan]

IT IS OK GUYS!!!!

I've worked it out... if you look closely, they planted some trees in front of the gantry, which should be just about big enough to conceal them, by the rough time they are DUE TO REMOVE THEM!

Three cheers for THORPE Hostel.

Makes the YMCA look like the Royal Suite at The Lanesborough.

 

[QTXAdsy]

Oh deary me, ahahaha! I'm dying with laughter here!

I can just see a theme park article coming up reading something like this...

Thorpe Park caused controversy with the unveiling of their new...ahem, hotel. Named 'The Crashpad', it is probably the only one of it's type in the world built out of shipping containers. Yes, you read that right shipping containers, I've seen it all now. Whatever next?

Many UK theme park enthusiasts from the likes of Alton Towers to Blackpool Pleasure Beach have all expressed how appalled they are over this new living accommodation, some saying that it looks more like a prison cells. They only ones who were fine with this were the M&D's and Flamingoland fans who were like "A hotel built out of shipping containers?! Lucky b*****ds!"

 

[DiogoJ42]

Clearly, Thorpe are trendsetters so far ahead of the times that only they know how cool this hotel is. Give it five years, and Europa will have one.

This has to be the explanation. The only other possibility is that M£rlin really are total smeg heads after all.
.... Oh, wait....

 

[Scott]

I don't think I can say anything without swearing, but anything that can be lifted and moved whilst you sleep scares me a bit

Don't forget the big ol' doors on the end... Wonder how many people will try and open them after a few drinks.