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The I Feel Down Topic.

Came here to say similar to Rob666.
If you can, find out who's doing the sifting and interviewing and have an informal chat with them. It shows willing, and also means your name will be their mind as "that nice intelligent Matt N" when they are looking though CVs. They will still treat you and the other candidates fairly, but humans are humans and it's part of the CS game.
 
Now this is interesting… as my current line manager said that she would be unable to personally help me with my actual application due to almost certainly being on the panel. So there will likely be at least one person I know well on it!

The other name vaguely mentioned as a likely panel member when I chatted to my line manager and Grade 7 was also someone who I know and have interacted with at work. They attend some of our team catchups, are coming to an away day on Wednesday, and I chatted with them just the other day about something!

I’m not sure who the 3rd person will be, but my line manager tried to reassure me when I spoke to her about applying by saying “There will be people you know on the panel”.
 
...and I know an absent thoosie who used to hang around on here who is always banging on about recruitment and retention Matt.

You will be fine.
 
rob666 said:
...and I know an absent thoosie who used to hang around on here who is always banging on about recruitment and retention Matt.

You will be fine.
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I keep reading about how terrible the job market is and how no one my age is securing a permanent job at the moment, which probably doesn’t help my nerves. If this person is banging on about how getting people is hard, I’ll admit that that surprises me!

I do wonder, perhaps naively, if it might play into my favour in terms of applicant pool that my role is not something specific to the civil service and also has a more specific technical skillset (mainly programming and a little bit of data/statistics knowledge) involved with it as opposed to being something slightly broader in skillset that is more specific to the civil service (e.g. a policy role).
 
I'm going to be open up on here and I'm absolutely heartbroken, I've been in a relationship with a fellow enthusiast for the last month

We both got on very very well, his humour is amazing and I absolutely thought he was a blast

Last week, he put me on a break due to anxiety which ended up in a break up which was triggered by a Batman GIF.

So he cut me out of his birthday plans and after his birthday trip, he ends up putting "Soon 👀" on relationship on his discord profile. He then tonight ends up getting back with his ex.

I then am really hurt so I end up blocking him and messaged the talking stage I've had before getting with him that ended badly, I've messaged him and gave him my number for him to follow up with me on WhatsApp. It's low risk but if he replies, it'll be worth a shot.

I am in a bit of a frantic mood right now but I'm really really upset about it all 😭😭😭💔💔💔

Absolutely heartbroken by it all...

I am honestly nearly done with relationships, I don't want to keep getting my heart broken with LGBT dating...
 
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I'm sorry to hear that @owenstreet7; I hope you're not taking it too badly.

I am absolutely not the person to be giving relationship advice, so I won't attempt to wade in here, but if you do want someone to talk to or an impartial ear to vent to, I am always here.
 
Matt N said:
I'm sorry to hear that @owenstreet7; I hope you're not taking it too badly.

I am absolutely not the person to be giving relationship advice, so I won't attempt to wade in here, but if you do want someone to talk to or an impartial ear to vent to, I am always here.
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Thank you @Matt N

That is really sweet of you, I think putting it here has helped as I wanted to sort of vent tonight 😭

I literally am full of emotions right now but I now have closure and will work out next moves.
 
I’m sorry to hear that @Zeock. Believe me, I know how worrying the future can be (and as someone 4 or 5 years your senior, I don’t think you ever truly stop worrying about it… well I don’t, anyway!), and it sounds as though it all just got on top of you.

I know very well how hard it is to stay positive when thinking about the future, so I would honestly second the advice of @BarryZola. Distraction and ensuring your mind is occupied can very often be the best way to stop worrying about things, from my experience!

And as others have said, I am always here via PM if you ever need to talk anything through.
 
I think this is a good opportunity to remind everyone about the options to help get you through tricky times, especially important at this time of year. Please forgive my blatant copy-pasting from the first post of this topic.

Team note:

Whilst we have this thread to allow you to get things off your chest or seek some wise words of encouragement or advice, it's important to realise when you may need a little more support from professional organisations.

This is particularly the case if you are experiencing thoughts of self harm or suicide. It's incredibly important that they're dealt with by organisations who are properly trained and experienced to provide the right advice. These organisations allow you to remain anonymous if you wish, and there's a wealth of contact options available such as text or web chat if you're not comfortable chatting over the phone.

The below organisations are also an amazing support channel who can help you through life's bump, no matter how big or small you feel the issue may be:

The Samaritans - This charity offers help and advice via email, web chat, phone (call 116123 free) or even face to face if you wish. They also have a self help app and guides that's worth working through too.

CALM - The Campaign Against Living Miserably offers a helpline and web chat between 5pm and midnight 365 days a year. There's loads of self help guides on the website, and a section where you can simply get your thoughts down on screen anonymously.

Shout 85258 - It can be difficult or uncomfortable for some to speak over the phone. Texting SHOUT to 85258, allows people to have a text conversation with someone anonymously. It's free from all networks and operates 24 hours a day.

Childline - If you're under 19, then Childline offers advice over the phone (call 0800 1111 free), via email or via web chat with a counsellor on their website. There's guides on coping methods via their Toolbox that's available too.

111 or your GP - If you're experiencing suicidal thoughts, an appointment can be made to discuss with your GP or a health professional. If you feel like you're in immediate danger, you can call 999 or go straight to A&E.

If you feel someone needs further support in the thread, please flag the post to the team who can advise the poster on better support channels. We may remove posts which mention self harm or suicide, but rest assured a team member will contact the poster to offer further advice and guidance if this is the case.

Of course, for all of the other bumps in the road, you'll find many people in this topic with open ears and some wise words to help.

Thank you.
 
Burbs said:
I think this is a good opportunity to remind everyone about the options to help get you through tricky times, especially important at this time of year. Please forgive my blatant copy-pasting from the first post of this topic.

Team note:

Whilst we have this thread to allow you to get things off your chest or seek some wise words of encouragement or advice, it's important to realise when you may need a little more support from professional organisations.

This is particularly the case if you are experiencing thoughts of self harm or suicide. It's incredibly important that they're dealt with by organisations who are properly trained and experienced to provide the right advice. These organisations allow you to remain anonymous if you wish, and there's a wealth of contact options available such as text or web chat if you're not comfortable chatting over the phone.

The below organisations are also an amazing support channel who can help you through life's bump, no matter how big or small you feel the issue may be:

The Samaritans - This charity offers help and advice via email, web chat, phone (call 116123 free) or even face to face if you wish. They also have a self help app and guides that's worth working through too.

CALM - The Campaign Against Living Miserably offers a helpline and web chat between 5pm and midnight 365 days a year. There's loads of self help guides on the website, and a section where you can simply get your thoughts down on screen anonymously.

Shout 85258 - It can be difficult or uncomfortable for some to speak over the phone. Texting SHOUT to 85258, allows people to have a text conversation with someone anonymously. It's free from all networks and operates 24 hours a day.

Childline - If you're under 19, then Childline offers advice over the phone (call 0800 1111 free), via email or via web chat with a counsellor on their website. There's guides on coping methods via their Toolbox that's available too.

111 or your GP - If you're experiencing suicidal thoughts, an appointment can be made to discuss with your GP or a health professional. If you feel like you're in immediate danger, you can call 999 or go straight to A&E.

If you feel someone needs further support in the thread, please flag the post to the team who can advise the poster on better support channels. We may remove posts which mention self harm or suicide, but rest assured a team member will contact the poster to offer further advice and guidance if this is the case.

Of course, for all of the other bumps in the road, you'll find many people in this topic with open ears and some wise words to help.

Thank you.
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Can I also add Papyrus, who work for the prevention of young suicide (under 35). Their helpline is 24 hours and is 0800 068 41 41, and there is lots of information and resources on their website.

Papyrus UK Suicide Prevention | Prevention of Young Suicide

PAPYRUS UK is a charity for the prevention of young suicide (under 35) in the UK | Call PAPYRUS HOPELINE247 on 0800 068 4141 Now
www.papyrus-uk.org www.papyrus-uk.org
 
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Burbs said:
I think this is a good opportunity to remind everyone about the options to help get you through tricky times, especially important at this time of year. Please forgive my blatant copy-pasting from the first post of this topic.

Team note:

Whilst we have this thread to allow you to get things off your chest or seek some wise words of encouragement or advice, it's important to realise when you may need a little more support from professional organisations.

This is particularly the case if you are experiencing thoughts of self harm or suicide. It's incredibly important that they're dealt with by organisations who are properly trained and experienced to provide the right advice. These organisations allow you to remain anonymous if you wish, and there's a wealth of contact options available such as text or web chat if you're not comfortable chatting over the phone.

The below organisations are also an amazing support channel who can help you through life's bump, no matter how big or small you feel the issue may be:

The Samaritans - This charity offers help and advice via email, web chat, phone (call 116123 free) or even face to face if you wish. They also have a self help app and guides that's worth working through too.

CALM - The Campaign Against Living Miserably offers a helpline and web chat between 5pm and midnight 365 days a year. There's loads of self help guides on the website, and a section where you can simply get your thoughts down on screen anonymously.

Shout 85258 - It can be difficult or uncomfortable for some to speak over the phone. Texting SHOUT to 85258, allows people to have a text conversation with someone anonymously. It's free from all networks and operates 24 hours a day.

Childline - If you're under 19, then Childline offers advice over the phone (call 0800 1111 free), via email or via web chat with a counsellor on their website. There's guides on coping methods via their Toolbox that's available too.

111 or your GP - If you're experiencing suicidal thoughts, an appointment can be made to discuss with your GP or a health professional. If you feel like you're in immediate danger, you can call 999 or go straight to A&E.

If you feel someone needs further support in the thread, please flag the post to the team who can advise the poster on better support channels. We may remove posts which mention self harm or suicide, but rest assured a team member will contact the poster to offer further advice and guidance if this is the case.

Of course, for all of the other bumps in the road, you'll find many people in this topic with open ears and some wise words to help.

Thank you.
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Thanks for this @Burbs. Not ashamed to say that I've contacted the Samaritans in the past during particularly low periods in my life. It's almost always been helpful, if just to talk through something hard with a person that cares. I've a friend who volunteers for them and I think she does an amazing job.

I don't often respond to the more difficult posts on here because I'm wary of saying the wrong thing and potentially saying something unhelpful, but I think a lot of us have been there ourselves and can really empathise with members that are struggling right now. You're not alone. And things almost always do get better - life's a pretty long road and it's worth sticking out the bumpy bits!
 
NuttySquirrel said:
I don't often respond to the more difficult posts on here because I'm wary of saying the wrong thing and potentially saying something unhelpful, but I think a lot of us have been there ourselves and can really empathise with members that are struggling right now. You're not alone. And things almost always do get better - life's a pretty long road and it's worth sticking out the bumpy bits!
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I echo this. I am terrible with words but hope it gets better when things are going rough.
 
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