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The I Feel Down Topic.

Amy_D said:
AshleeKel said:
Having started a course of antidepressants, I've felt my moods go from bad to worse. My anxiety has shot through the roof.

I just feel unwell :(

Sorry for double post :(
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I've been on anti-depressants for just over 2 months now for anxiety.

The first few weeks were awful, I felt so ill and really wanted to stop taking them. Bear with it though, I feel fantastic now. Take care.
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They are horrible at first, but like Amy said it gets better once you get used to them.

Remember though, they're only an aid to help you get better, they're not a long term fix for anything. I've been on a high dose for over a year now, and I want nothing more to be off the bloody things!
 
I disappoint everyone and ruin all that I hope to foster.

I've had suicide continually on the mind this week. I can't escape these images and I'm scared to be left by myself.
 
Well then... My so called friends have finally noticed how I am feeling. Now they are saying I am depressed and should stop attention seeking. ::) typical, when my so called friends are even slightly depressed I try to help them as much as can. But they call me an attention seeking rude word. only 1 person tried to help. But she just said see a doctor about depression. :I
 
^
The weather's probably got a lot to do with that. Otherwise, try getting into a more natural sleeping pattern, and get some exercise and sunlight - I've been having to medicate myself to sleep a little lately, but found that a few hours in the sun does the job just as well :)

I'm also going to add my voice to the chorus of 'first few weeks on anti-depressants, URGH...' - as I've said before, I was HORRIBLE for about the first month, and it can be easy to think that they're doing more harm than good, but sooner or later, you'll turn a corner. Of course, if you haven't done in a month, that's when you go and shout at your doctor :p
I had my medication changed a few weeks back and feel SO much better for it, to the point that I'm hoping to return to work in the next week or so, although how much of that's down to the tablets and how much is the weather and the fact that I'm hiding from everything/everyone that was pissing me off in the first place remains to be seen...
Of course, if it IS the first, I wish I'd changed back in May, then I wouldn't be in this bloody mess :(
 
talking of anti-depressants, i have a prescription in my wallet for them. I dare not change is as i worry on what i will could do in the first 8 weeks.
 
^
Have a chat with your doctor about it if you're not sure. And if you don't find it helpful, have a chat with a different one - I think I've seen 4 in the last month, and like I said, I've been loving life since the fluoxetine kicked in, sleeping better and have more energy than I've had in months. I don't remember it being a difficult transition... but then again, the way I came off the last ones wasn't exactly ideal.
 
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I've got my room down to 23.6, but alas the breeze and fresh air now seem to be declining my kind offer to come inside. The daddy long legses and pollen however... :mad:

AND my stupid, stupid laptop keeps overheating...
 
Sorry bout the long post ahead, but i'm in a bit of an odd situation.

I don't think I have really discussed it much on here, but earlier this week I have flown out to Orlando for a year on the Disney International College Program. I know the reaction most enthusiasts give is "wow, no way, thats awesome..." etc, etc, but naturally as much as its exciting and awesome being so close and having free entry to all the parks at WDW, I also kind of psyched myself up into a state of worry before going. I know being alone in a foreign country for a year is a daunting prospect for anyone, but with existing social anxiety issues and an irrational fear that I will never meet anyone like me, I almost started dreading having to leave home.

Here I am now almost a week in, and to excuse the obvious joke its been nothing short of a roller coaster. When i'm having it good, its really good and i'm relaxed, confident and thoroughly enjoying myself. The problem is however i'm still really worried and often depressed about the social side of the experience, I have 5 other flatmates and 4/5 are pretty cool, I don't really feel like any of them are much like me and often feel in conversations I struggle to say anything interesting or meaningful, but they don't really intimidate me. It's this fifth guy thats annoying me. He's loud, obnoxious, chauvinistic and immature, every thing he says pretty much is some kind of tasteless pun or one liner and everyone else seems to laugh along and relish in his "banter" whilst I seem to be the only one to see him for the immature prat he is. I honestly dread every time he walks into the room and feel like I just can't hold a conversion on his level, out of fear and principal.

Besides that i've been part of the crowd, headed to the parks and gone to parties and BBQ's etc, but I feel i'm just building a huge network of acquaintances and no lasting friends. Sure, its very early days right now but I still feel quite intimidated when in a large group who I don't know so well, plus I just dread to think what the living situation will be like when people end up coming back in the night time and disturbing me while I want to sleep for work the next day, its not like British halls where I get an individual room away from everything to escape into. This is probably making me sound really anti-fun, which is far from the truth, but I just like to get to know people first before coming out of my shell. I'm in an odd introversion/extraversion purgatory where I really want a group of loyal, close knit friends to live life and enjoy this experience to its fullest, but at the same time I get too nervous in big group outings to truly be myself.

I'm honestly dreading what happens if I end up being that guy stuck with no real friends that goes to the odd event and spends the rest of his time either working or in his room eating takeaways. I've already Skyped home in tears and been looking at flights home as I am really doubting whether I can last a month here, nevermind a year. I know i'm hardly stuck here and can quit anytime I want, but why throw away the opportunity? I guess i'll just have to stick it out a few moths, and see where I am from there. If i'm well and truly miserable I can come home, but I guess its useless being so pessimistic at this stage.

Yeah, this probably sounded quite melodramatic and self indulgent, but i've just kind of used this as a platform to vent all the conflicting feelings i've built up across the course of the week. As I said, i'm just in a bit of a weird roller coaster of a situation and could use some reassurance things will get better. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?
 
My grandad is not well at all. He could pass away at any time now. I’m not sure how I feel about it or what I should feel.

Some people have grandparents that they absolutely adore and spend lots of time with. They are quite understandably extremely upset when they lose them. I’m not one of these people; my nan and gran died when I was too young to remember them, and my grandads have always been people that I’ve seen a lot of but haven’t exactly enjoyed being with.

I feel bad about the fact that I’ve never been close to either of them, but I can’t say that either of them has ever encouraged it or been the sort of interesting, entertaining, fun to spend time with grandfather that some people are lucky enough to have. I don’t envy the pain that people with awesome grandparents go through when they pass away of course, but I do envy the way that they look forward to seeing them, enjoy being with them and have good memories of them when they’re no longer there. I feel pretty bad for being jealous of others about that too.

When it comes to the grandad who’s now very ill, I find it very difficult to think of many good memories I have of spending time with him. Oh, there are a couple, mainly from when he used to take my brother and I to places with a really lovely partner he had for a number of years, but generally when he’s been around I’ve found him difficult to deal with. For as long as I can remember he’s talked over the top of me when I’ve started to say things, and although I know that in recent years at least he’s been a bit deaf, the impression I’ve always got was that it was because he thought what he had to say was more important rather than because he couldn’t hear me. He’s always had a tendency to talk about things that everybody’s heard umpteen times before, and I don’t think I can really remember any time when he’s taken a serious interest in what people other than himself have been doing.

The thing that put me off him most though was when it was found that he was no longer able to drive safely. My parents, aunt and three uncles managed to get his license taken off him, but not before he’d written off a car. Anyway, he got extremely unpleasant over the whole ordeal, making things very difficult for everyone in my wider family.

Despite the fact that I’ve never been particularly fond of him, he is related to me and I’m still sad to hear that he’s not got long left. It’s weird though. Although I’m obviously finding it hard to be positive when I’m constantly waiting for bad news, I can’t say I feel particularly upset about it happening. It’s hard to explain, but I’d say at the moment I feel more bothered about the fact that my grandfather is dying and it’s not upsetting me anywhere near as much as I think it probably ought to. Maybe I will be when he does go; I’ve no idea. This is the first time I’ve had to face someone I know dying when I understand what’s going on, and so far it’s really not affecting me the way I’d have said this sort of thing should.
 
If he hasn't been close to you or behaved well during the time you've known him, why would you be very upset?

Illness and death in a family is always sad whether you were close or not, but don't feel pressured to feel things that aren't necessarily there! I would go and see him just so if he does pass away, you'll have no regrets and no 'shoulda-woulda-coulda' guilt.
 
I have never subscribed to the theory that you must love your family simply because they share your DNA. They should have to earn your respect just like everyone else.

But then, I'm not the best person to be giving advice on family relationships, given that I've had no contact with any member of my family for almost 9 years now. For all I know my grandparents probably died years ago, I generally assume they must have. I mean, my grandad would be in his late 90's by now...
 
Cheese, I had a mix of grandparents. One i did not like, why is a long story but when he died i was not that bother. and i have never been to the grave.

As for the other side of the family i had lovely couple as grandparents, that i loved dearly. and it hurt so much when they passed away. I visit they plot 3/4 times a year.

I did not let other sway my feeling about their deaths, i took what was in my heart as my compass.
 
Well. I agree with diogo tbh. I absolutely hate my father. Yet I have to act like I love him because I am 13 and live in his house. Also that is not the reason for my post. My great grandma on my mum's side died last night. :'( 2 deaths and 7 strokes in 4 months in my family. My grandparents on my dads side probably haven't got long left either. :'(
 
I have a cold and had hardly any sleep, Now I've got 8 hours of work :(


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